Jeph Loeb’s writing hasn’t worked for me since Batman: The Long Halloween, and I never really “got” Joe Madureira, and I’d stopped reading The Ultimates back around issue 5 when I got tired of reading about the Avengers recast as shallow and vicious Blackwater operatives. So I didn’t have any great hopes for ULTIMATES 3. Rather than ignore the book, though, I looked on it as an opportunity – an opportunity to give Loeb, Madureira, and The Ultimates each a second chance. It’s December, after all, and I’m told that forgiveness and second chances are part of some holiday you all have coming up.
Turns out I really shouldn’t have bothered. The book isn’t completely terrible or anything, but it’s almost aggressively bland. As much as I despise Mark Millar, he has a surface veneer of cleverness, and at least Bryan Hitch brought the widescreen-action of The Authority to the party and made the original Ultimates somewhat new and exciting (though the elements of that style have now made their way outwards and are now commonplace, the way contemporary pop songs started showing up ironically in mainstream films a few years after Kenneth Anger’s Scorpio Rising cut scenes from a movie about Jesus together with The Shangri-Las’ “Leader of the Pack”).
Madureira’s art just looks like the ’90s, his manga-influenced style not looking nearly as odd or different in this manga-infused decade. The coloring by Christian Lichtner casts a muddy-brownish red over everything, turning all the visuals into a non-dynamic mush, making the whole book just look like one of the lesser Virgin Comics titles. Jeph Loeb’s writing also reeks of the ’90s, only with the new Ought-friendly elements of secret porn tapes, incest, slobbery drug overdoses and gory holes through people’s hands. Anybody remember when the Ultimate line was supposed to be appropriate for eight-year olds?
Speaking of the Ultimate LINE, the biggest problem with this book is that it is, at its core, just another superhero book in a line of superhero books. It only took about six years or so, but the Ultimate line seems to be showing the same kind of inbred storytelling sense that mars almost all of the superhero books from the major companies. None of the characters are introduced beyond being labeled on a splash page with their name in a box during a huge fight scene. Scenes of character tension fall flat without any back-story to explain what the hell they’re about. This thing might say “issue 1″ on it, but if I gave a copy to a new reader they’d never read a comic book again.
Really, the whole systemic problem can be diagnosed by looking at the inside cover house ad for Ultimate Secrets, which asks in bold letters at the top of the page: “IS ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN A CLONE” (Nothing says ’90s like that question, huh?). Ultimate Secrets is a HANDBOOK. You remember handbooks, right? They’re those mildly diverting novelties that have absolutely no bearing on any form of storytelling recognized by intelligent human beings. And they’re back! Ultimate-style!
18 Responses to "Ultimates 3 #1"
1 | asdf
November 10th, 2007 at 3:12 am
So basically, Ultimate Brotherhood + Ultimate Venom vs Ultimates + Ultimate Spider-man + Ultimate BP and two other new chars (Deadpool+chick I guess?
2 | ****
November 15th, 2007 at 3:00 am
Chick? Are you a teenager with a mullet? That’s Ultimate Valkerie…who all of a sudden has a flying horse and all the accoutrement associated with 616 Valkerie even though Millar and Hitch have already established that this Ultimate universe’s Valkerie is nothing more than an ordinary promiscuous teenage girl who dresses in hubcaps. That Jeph Loeb bastard should do his research.
4 | RgerMore
November 20th, 2007 at 1:26 am
Deadpool? Where did you see him? Only guy even close to him that i see is a gun wielding Hawkeye.
5 | Bill Code
November 20th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
I’m just a little disappointed that Marvel has changed the Ultimate Thor’s hammer to the 616 version. Other than that, this looks to be pretty cool!
6 | woodsman816
am i the only who’s dissapointed with the way this crap looks?i mean the art i enjoy its mads style. but all the great things about the comic was the very meticulous real world flavor that hitch and millar put into it. this just looks like a 616 slamboree and even the costumes have been given the 616 treatment
7 | Kayode Kendall
December 5th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
That’s the big problem for me, too. Hitch and Millar went to a lot of trouble to give Ultimates a real world feeling, and Loeb seems hellbent on stripping all of that away. To say nothing of the fact that Loeb just seems to have no grasp of subtlety. From the opening page, he just proves himself to be horribly juvenile and immature. “Oooh, Tony’s got a sex tape out on the net! It’s EVERYWHERE!” “Hey, can’t you all tell that Pietro and Wanda have the hots for each other? We are flat out telling you!” “Can’t you see Hawkeye’s all dark and broody since his family was killed? ‘Cause we’re flat-out tell you!”
It’s like Loeb has zero faith in the readers to come to their own conclusions, while at the same time just expecting us to accept this whole new dynamic that he’s created, where little to no reference is made to what’s come before.
8 | Kayode O
I have to agree. What made the original ultimates the phenomena that they were, were the incredibly detailed art that more often than not made you feel as though you were watching a summer blockbuster with a solid plot.
While not wishing to sound pretentious there were so many instances where what was left unsaid was actually more profound than what had actually been written.
It is easy to heap criticism on the efforts of others without having walked in their shoes. HOWEVER!! as has been proven by those who have come before comics can be written in a manner that is intelligent engaging and thought provoking without resorting to the usual somewhat boring “in your face” with “attitude” method of story telling.
As some else once said “that book is doomed”
9 | Jon Haehnle
are you telling me we have two different people named kayode on here? what are the odds
10 | woodsman816
i just picked it up to give it real try cuz i really wanted to be wrong. i hoped i could at least like the pretty pictures. hoped that it would at least be quasi interesting.
it wasn’t. this is just really bad. thats it. there’s nothing left to say.
11 | xiombarg
Yep, it sucks.
In fact, it’s like reading somebody’s first horrible venture into writing a comic book who is looking for a formula instead of a story. Something like: shocking sex + bad attitudes = cool? Whatever..
You’d think that Loeb has been around long enough to know that this formula doesn’t work in place of real story, and it never did. I can’t even begin to count how many self published and/or small press comics I’ve read who try to use this formula in place of a story. It’s dumb and it’s lame, and frankly it shows a lack of editorial guidance (hey Ralph Macchio, wake up.)
Joe Mad is there, and it’s.. It’s ok if you like the generic Udon Studios look, but I agree that the coloring job looks like hell. Muddy brown never works well in comics generally. How about a D+.
12 | Kayode Kendall
December 7th, 2007 at 10:35 am
“are you telling me we have two different people named kayode on here? what are the odds”
Probably just somebody apin’ ya boy’s style! I ain’t mad, tho!
13 | Ben Newman
December 7th, 2007 at 11:18 am
I’ve never been so disappointed about a comic in a very long time. So much so, that I actually feel the need to comment on it on a forum.
Marvel have told us over and over that this is not going to be the Millar/Hitch Ultimates. Fair enough. I get that but it feels like Loeb is going out of his way to ruin a great comic. Why he could not leave Bendis to handle the Ultimate Venom story i just can’t understand. The interaction between characters was so weak (lots of WOW, AWESOME, EAT THIS) and the female Thor is a total joke. Hawkeye has no bow and arrow (just looks like Bullseye). I don’t get it. I really wanted to give Loeb the benefit of the doubt but its worse than I thought it would be.
Marvel almost went bust in the 90’s because of the poor standard of story telling. Why are they revisiting it? Be buggered if I know.
December 8th, 2007 at 12:42 am
It wasn’t that bad, WTF? It’s only been one issue. I’ll give it a few more before I declare it the anti-christ.
16 | Raefe Mahadeo
IF I recall, it took bendis awhile to find his footing on avengers, though with how dull and repetitive the series became it wasn’t much of a drop. seriously, the series was relaunched in 1997. bendis took over during the middle of 2004 with dissassembeled, a sad attempt to finish a 20 year old story line best handeled by a writer with less of an ego and more tact. this is not meant to insult bendis, this is seriously my opinion of him. back on topic, within that 7-8 year gap between the end of heroes reborn and beginning of dissasembeled there were two noteworthy story arcs. busieks first year and johns red zone. my point is that many of the avengers stories in the past did not aim to outdo previous stories or set the bar higher and many of the writer’s were left writing villain of the month type stories. the series storyline foundations had repeated themselves to the death of fan interest when Bendis came on board and in many ways copied the x-men’s formula(outcast’sin new avengers, school of superhumans in initiative, several x-men characters:sauron, silver samurai, wolverine in the series). added with several new creations and solo 80s second string characters and marvels 2 most popular character and marvel actually made the title interesting. this is something similair. while I love millar’s Ultimates, I was always longing for more of the superhero element with the gritty, realworld feel. All the realistic details millar added to the characters was one of millars strength’s. I do feel that’s been abandonded completly and the ultimates are becoming to similair to the 616 characters. also the cap and quicksilver scene seemed really forced and just a way to get the characters from point A to B. wanda’s death seemed forced too, but was interesting. I do applaud loeb for spelling out wanda and pietro’s relationship, but I feel he focuses on the superhero element to much and Valkyrie seems kind of redundant with thor around. I am glad panther’s on the team, though, he is a favorite of mine. I do agree that ultimate hawkeye is way to similair to bullseye. all in all, the ultimate universe is becoming very much like 616(spider clones, x-men timelines, death as a redundant plot device; c’mon, wanda will be back in time for ultimates 5 or sooner). I will give this book a few more issues as I feel loeb will get his footing on the book and it’s just a matter of setting up the sttory he want’s to tell. I am a fan of much of bendis work, for the record, I just have a very disdainfull opinion of his avengers work before civil war. so, a majority of the first 19 issues left me luke warm. I do, however, think he’s found his niche right now on NA.
17 | john sobie
HEY,
i HAVE BEEN WATCHING JOE’S WORK FOR OVER11 YRS NOW & HE GETS BETTER EVERY TIME
18 | Stillwaters
Terms like world class are chucked around loosely. The description applying to very few writers working within the mainstream comics field: Of the current crop of writers holding down the fort at the Marvel and DC forts the likes of Morrison, Brubaker , Millar, Moore, Miller, Ellis, are undoubtedly within this rank. Loeb, clearly, falls far short of this standard. Even the most casual review of the earlier Millar “Ultimates” volumes can only induce, in any fair, unjaundiced reader, the deepest respect for Millars commitment to innovative characterization- the reconceptualisation of Thor, unarguably the most radical and successful reimagining of a mainstream character since Moore’s groundbreaking work on Swamp thing and Miracleman; his careful attendance to plot, pacing and development, and an unshaking commitment to drive the brand promise of the ultimate comics, namely to provide a modern, hip audience with hip, adult, envelope pushing, creative material freed of the historical constraints and overly censurish behavior of editors and executive reps of the corporate owner. In this, Millar succeeded beyond the industries expectations, and perhaps even his own, providing a comic that was genuinely cinematic, literate, culturally relevant, all wonderful achievements, but more, Millar, with his artistic pattern, provide a work that while bursting the seams of the media’s two dimensional limitations, proved that the medium can be as fluid and exciting as any narrative laid down by its televisual, video or cinematic rivals. A short trip to the blogopshere of such industry leaders such as the Huffington Post, or a half hour spent watching Meet the Press, or a quick travail through the increasingly moribund print media, underscores the devastating consequences of the current American administration middle eastern adventures, and to find the effects of these policies explored with such generosity of spirit – the American spirit, is after all completely vindicated by the conclusion of Volume 2- insight, and deft touch within an American comic; while remaining true to the kick arse essentials that drive all superhero comics, is to witness a writer who when fully focused- as Millar most certainly was during his run; the sheer, bombastic iconography of the central characters bringing out from Millar, the chief-cynic-in-waiting, a genuine respect and love, much as the JLA and Superman has done for Millars contemporary and arch rival in the world heavyweight champ stakes, Grant Morrison. Any reader over twenty five, with a college or university degree, or not, who has ever been embarrassed by reading comics, had only to hand over the Ultimates to the uniformed and skeptical, to have their reading habits fully justified. The handover of this flagship to the current writer, who has broken every script covenant laid down by Millar- careful development, razor sharp characterization, subtlety wit, inventiveness, and reduced an innovative, must read, must talk about title, to the level of a Sunday afternoon cartoon, digestible by toddles across the globe, who if they heard the phrase, “ Abu Ghraib” would assume he was a cousin of Aladdin’s genie. To watch a character as vivid and fully realized as Thor be reduced to this faux-Shakespeare peaking, muscle bound poseur, is to see a Rumsfieldian castration of old Europe fully in play. Leob standing fully revealed as a plodding, reactionary hack stuck in an overly polished, primary colored, 1950’s view of a WASP controlled America that is entirely free of debate, challenge and any reconfiguring, renewing energy: In this, much like his reactionary contemporary, Alex Ross, who also churns out unimaginative, nostalgia poems to a 1950’s apartheid, right-wing, America, Loeb’s work stands as a blatant rejection of the creative energies and attempts of the brand to reinvigorate and break the crippling existing narrative: and return to a “lets not think, lets not critique, lets not play, lets just give them comics that offer “Biff, Bang, Wallop” nonsense, and the girls and boys will just lap it up” universe that so sadly polluted the recent Indian Jones sequel, which exposed the full malady at the current center of American movie making. It is fitting that as Speilberg and Lucas, the two individusuals who have done most to undermine a once great American cinema full of visionaries such as Coppola and Malik, who committed to making adult drama, should return with their latest racist, unintelligent, junk, promoting a world view and characters and stereotypes that bear no reflection to the current youth interest and creative production – and the cash returns on Indy 4 do nothing to counter this argument, that the comic intellectual and creative equivalent – and I use those words without any favorable implication, should rend, mutilate, reduce, trash, disfigure and, blatantly mock, the work of a writer of whom the likes of Coppola and Malik would have recognized as a fellow traveler in the world of adult concerns and literacy. Reading the current toilet paper that is being put out by Loeb and co, is to wonder if Marvel got a phone call from some delusional, rabid, right wing, culture fascist on and decided to cut and run. Cut ting and running being the only choice that someone with an IQ over seventy two is left with, after being exposed to the flaccid, incompetent, gutless, witless, impotent garbage of Loeb’s writing. I have not felt so sorry for an artist since Jim Lee worked with Azzarrello; or so determined to claim my money back, since foolishly submitting to an audit from a scientology centre in Piccadilly circus, London. Perhaps Loeb is in need of an audit? If marvel really cannot assign anyone better than this from its ranks, I suggest they hold an open call for scripts from the readers: Over the years I have read garbage of the worst kind on various fan sites; material that has caused me to almost abandon my general default setting of loving my fellow man, but surely nothing could be worse than this?
