The Top 5, featuring Jason Vorhees, Gene Simmons and more.

Note: The following rockin’ piece was composed by guest contributor Brad Dickason — leave some feedback if you want to see more from him!

» Click here for Part 1 (#10-#6)!

#5 – Friday the 13th VIII – Jason Takes Manhattan

Speaking of franchises with FAR too many sequels, Jason Voorhees has been dragged out of Crystal Lake wayyy too many times for us to remember. Luckily, one of those times involved him trudging up to Manhattan and murdering a sassy punk rock chick… with her own guitar. Of course she ran, of course he tracked her down and slaughtered her, and of course some rad industrial/metal track was playing the whole time.

#4 – Soldier Murders someone with a Guitar

Ok, this one deserves a serious tone. The only ‘real life’ example from this list involves a British soldier murdering a man with his own guitar. Tragic, and probably could have been avoided.

#3 – Gene Simmons

Back to the ridiculous and absurd! Gene Simmons wore makeup, tight leather pants, and huge shiticking boots at all time. He’s more or less the poster child for Brutal Legend, and his weapon of choice, like Jack Black’s, is his AXE. Simmons’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2EaTLk9HGc#t=2m15s
(Embedding disabled?? Boo.)

Just when you thought it didn’t get any more absurd than a rocket-launching axe-bass, Gene Simmons strikes back with a part in the 80’s horror-metal flick (noticing a trend here?) Trick Or Treat. Simmons shared the stage with Ozzy Osbourne in what can only be described as a feature-length rendition of a Megadeath album cover. Tons of electrocution, fire, destruction, and of course a guitar player who ends up faceplanting in his own guitar amp.

#1 – Slumber Party Massacre II

80’s. Guitar. Bad Hair. Leather. So far par for the course for our guitar deaths.