That is just one of the many scenes of the “Batman Movie In My Head.” It’s not quite done and I’m not quite sure it ever will be. Here’s what I do know… it’ll probably be a movie presented in six, three-hour long parts and feature everything I love about Batman. I will keep adding scenes, firing directors, recasting actors and throwing imaginary money at it. F*** practical application, f*** a studio, f*** the actors I want being dead or too old to play the part.

F*** you, I have a movie in my head to make.

(ahem)

That said, I just realized I fired myself from the epic, six part, three-hour long each “Batman Movie In My Head” and been replaced with a studio wanting a return on their investment, a director who cares about these sorts of things, a casting director who knows nothing about CGI, actors interested in working with that puissant and a writer who knows story structure.

F*** them.

That said, this summer, I went to the movies knowing the movies-in-my-head wouldn’t ever be made and sent a mental mash note to a 12-year old Devon circa 1984. I told him over the course of the summer of 2011, in a dark movie theater and watching movies based on some your favorite things in the whole wide world will become movies. A Green Lantern movie! Yes, a Green Lantern movie! The technology finally caught up with the idea of a Green Lantern movie and yes, they do sort of botch it up with a horrible script and an actor you won’t like in twenty-seven years but kid, you’ll be sitting with friends watching this thing you’ve always wanted to see. Just try and be OK with it and enjoy.

You’ll see a Thor movie that won’t remind you in any way of the Walt Simonson Thor comics you’re reading right now but that’s OK. It’ll still be a fun movie. As a matter of fact, if you can look at it as the best Masters Of The Universe movie Hollywood will never make, you’ll love it even more. Oh, and it leads into an Avengers movie… but, first, you’ll have to watch the Captain America movie. Yeah, seriously…

Also, this summer, there will be a movie called X-Men: First Class starring this guy Kevin Bacon who’s in this movie coming out called “Footloose.” You won’t give a crap about “Footloose,” matter of fact, you still won’t have seen it but you’ll have met Kevin Bacon once and found him to be an alright guy so his casting will make you happy. He does a great job and you won’t believe who he’s playing. This movie’s sort of like a blend of “The X-Men meets James Bond.” Two of your favorite things, right? I KNOW!

Oh, and Captain America: The First Avenger? It hasn’t come out yet but man, it looks great. The guy who played The Human Torch is Captain America…

(sigh)

What is the big deal about a guy who played one comic book character not being able to playing another? There’s no rule against it. No, there isn’t. I know things. There won’t be in 2011 so, shut up. I’m from the future!

Just enjoy your “Movie Summer Of Awesome.” The movies-in-your-head already has its own greatest audience and always will. The kid in you who won’t believe he’ll see a Thor, Captain America, X-Men and Green Lantern movie all in ONE SUMMER will thank you for letting him enjoy it in peace and quiet.

This is like waving a caramel cone of chocolate chip mint ice cream in front of a three year-old, only to slam it to the ground and step on it!!

Is it even worth pretending to be surprised? When speculation arose that 20th Century Fox was interested in hiring Darren Aronofsky for an new Wolverine film, I carried around a grain of salt that might as well have been a boulder until official word broke. Between The Fountain and The Wrestler, and the story they had been planning to essentially reboot the Wolverine solo film franchise, I couldn’t think of a better director to tackle the character. Even more of a plus with Hugh Jackman already having worked with the director in the aforementioned Fountain.

According to Aronofsky, the big issue for him was the time he’d have to be away from his family for the production, reportedly spanning close to a year. I’m already getting Mathew Vaughn/X-Men: The Last Stand deja vu, where that’s the public excuse, when in actuality, things may have gone tits up between the director and the studio. This is 20th Century Fox we’re talking about. And while I would love to give them the benefit of the doubt (putting out Predators and Machete definitely gave them a few awesome points), There’s no denying the pattern that’s developed since they hacked Daredevil(yeah, I like Daredevil! That director’s cut is bananas!) to pieces for having “too much story”. To say nothing of deleted scenes from the first X-Men that would have actually made a decent movie infinitely better, and would have only added six minutes to a film that had already been sliced down to 104 minutes.

And even if Aronofsky’s story is true, I can’t help but lose more faith in him than the studio. I’m sorry, but if it’s a situation where you just feel like you can’t be away from your family for that long, you’re in absolutely the wrong business. Beyond that, if you’re thinking of how your family will manage without you, I don’t buy that either. There are these things called airplanes, they take people to other countries all the time. I refuse to believe you wouldn’t have downtime to either go visit said family, or have them visit you. To say nothing of the family members of people who are in the military. That shit is so real, Lifetime has a show about it! It’s called “Man up, Darren!!!” (Actually, it’s called Army Wives, but like the African dictator in Lord of War, I prefer it my way!)

So Appalled . . . (**Kanye!!!**)

That is quite the group shot! Can you name everyone? Who’s the girl to the left of Storm–Kitty? She looks a little too young, but Hope keeps being depicted as anywhere from 5 to 25, so who knows? By the way, nice costume, Storm!

If you haven’t already, check out our X-Men: Second Coming page and pre-order every issue for 20% off! You can also view all of the previous X-Men: Second Coming teaser images right on our blog!

This is shaping up to be quite the family affair, eh? Who are you surprised to see here–and who’s missing? Post below!

What the WHAT? “One Will Rise”???? In the X-Men Universe, that’s always, always been the Phoenix. There’s been some speculation that the “Mutant Messiah,” Hope, is actually the reincarnation of Jean Grey. What if that’s not even the point–what if she’s Phoenix? And what if she transforms into Dark Phoenix? Is this why Bishop has been trying to destroy her all along?

I don’t know about you, but as an old-school Marvel girl, I am blown away. If you haven’t already, check out our X-Men: Second Coming page and pre-order every issue for 20% off! You can also view all of the previous X-Men: Second Coming teaser images right on our blog!

So . . . what the hell is going to happen here, people? I want some theories, STAT!

Looks like X-Force is getting pulled into the mix . . . and they look pretty aggro! Who are they going to sacrifice? Is it the person who will end up in the empty grave from the previous teaser image, “One Will Die . . . ”

How many teaser images are yet to come? Are you excited for X-Men: Second Coming? Check out every issue at our X-Men: Second Coming page and pre-order every issue for 20% off!

Questions, comments, opinions? Share them below!

In keeping with the stained-glass theme of these teaser images (check out the first one here), this depicts Cyclops, a.k.a. Scott Summers, standing over an empty grave with the inscription, “One Will Die . . . ”

So, who wants to bet that the next teaser image will say “One Will Be Reborn . . . “? And . . . will it be Jean Grey? I know it’s kind of silly to hope for (and really, if Jean were coming back, Marvel would have to call this “X-Men: Third or Fourth Coming”), but something keeps tickling my brain. In any case, make sure to check out our Second Coming page and pre-order every issue for 20% off!

Questions, comments, opinions? Share them below!

Showing us a stained glass-style portrait of the White Queen, Cyclops, and Magneto, the caption reads only, “One Will Lead . . .”

Are you excited about X-Men: Second Coming? Make sure to check out our Second Coming page and pre-order every issue for 20% off!

Who do you want leading the X-Men in the near future? Is it time for Scott to take a break and let Emma or Magneto take over?

Showing us a stained glass-style portrait of the White Queen, Cyclops, and Magneto, the caption reads only, “One Will Lead . . .”

Are you excited about X-Men: Second Coming? Make sure to check out our Second Coming page and pre-order every issue for 20% off!

Who do you want leading the X-Men in the near future? Is it time for Scott to take a break and let Emma or Magneto take over?

Showing us a stained glass-style portrait of the White Queen, Cyclops, and Magneto, the caption reads only, “One Will Lead . . .”

Are you excited about X-Men: Second Coming? Make sure to check out our Second Coming page and pre-order every issue for 20% off!

Who do you want leading the X-Men in the near future? Is it time for Scott to take a break and let Emma or Magneto take over?

But fans would ultimately be disappointed when it was announced that Singer wouldn’t be returning for a third film, opting to take the reigns on the long-delayed Superman reboot. And while X-Men: The Last Stand would prove even more successful at the box office than its predecessors, many considered it a step back creatively. For all the build-up towards the introduction of The Phoenix, the character ended up taking a back seat to Magneto and a handful of nameless mutant henchmen. The death of characters like Cyclops and Professor Xavier didn’t sit well with fans either. The X-Men Franchise would take another blow with the lackluster Wolverine spin-off. And Singer’s Superman Returns only aggravated the fanboy blues, turning out to be both critically and financially disappointing, and leaving Singer’s involvement in that franchise–in fact, the whole Superman franchise–in doubt.

Which brings us to the recent announcement of Bryan Singer directing the upcoming X-Men: First Class. Is this a reason for X fans to rejoice, or, with so many post-Singer comic movie franchises taking off and garnering massive critical and box office success, is it call for a resounding meh? Can Singer get the X franchise–and his own comic con credibility–back on track, or have we already witnessed the fall of the mutants?

» 1. Can Singer recapture the magic of the first two films?

As it turns out, the end product still delivers plenty of opportunities for women to gape open-mouthed with no real provocation, and of course to become captured by a gang of slavers.
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As reported at Psylocke – Like A Butterfly:

In Madripoor, Psylocke, Storm, Rouge and Shadowcat face a group of “modern pirates”, which has kidnapped Rachel. The rescue operation is more complicated than the girls have thought as Rachel seems to betray her teammates even if Kitty says that Rachel told her telepathically to trust her. When they try to escape, they are hit by a beam which deprives them from their powers. They fall, but miraculously save themselves.

It’s hard to tell just looking at these preview scans or reading the above text, but again, Manara’s style is mostly fun, so none of this is going to lead to any Identity Crisis super-heroine rape scenes. To quote from Wikipedia:

Manara’s style favors clean lines for women reserving more complex drawings for monsters or other supernatural elements. Many of his comics feature themes of bondage, domination and humiliation, voyeurism, the supernatural, and the sexual tension beneath various aspects of Italian society. The works vary in their explicitness, but the general mood is playful rather than misogynistic. Manara’s skill in creating atmosphere, his obvious talent, and his occasional excursions into more “mainstream” stories, have helped to give him an air of artistic respectability.

Features: B+

The X-Men Animated series has always been a cartoon in a kid’s time slot that was never really intended for a kids audience. Or at least that’s how it came across to me. All of the stories appealed to the time I read the comics they were based on which was high school/early undergrad college. I would literally read the comics and hope that they’d be turned into episodes of the cartoon.

Picking up from where Volume 2 left off, Volume 3 jumps right in to the Savage Land, the strange love triangle between Gambit, Rogue, and Magneto. Then, I have a correction to announce: In my review of the Volumes 1 and 2, I made a mistake, they cover the Phoenix Saga, and in Volume 3, the 4-part “Dark Phoenix Saga” is introduced. This was pretty advanced storytelling because so much of this is pretty difficult to keep straight in the comics, but for kids this was a high concept story. Also on the disc two of Volume three is the memorable “Juggernaut Returns” story when Marko comes after his step brother, Professor X. “The Nightcrawler” was his introduction to the series, and “Weapon X, Lies and Video Tape” was the first we get to see the classic story that was done originally in Marvel Comics Presents with art by Sam Keith in cartoon form. Even the titles of the episodes were pretty clever.

Volume 4 kicks off with the ultra-serious “Proteus” arc where Dr. Moira McTaggart’s son has a terrible accident that leaves him on the freakish side of being a mutant, hoping to find his real father, he searches him out and rips through those who would stand in his way. It’s just an extremely harsh story about child abandonment, social acceptance, and bad parenting. But it’s this stuff that made me love the series so. You could go an entire episode without laughing or smiling, but you wanted to see the next episode. The Four Part “Beyond Good and Evil” handled the wedding between Jean Grey and Cyclops, Apocalypse and the Four Horsemen, Mr. Sinister, Cable, Bishop and the Lazarus Chamber. The season ends on the story of “Family Ties” where Quicksilver and the Scarlett Witch discover who their true father is by consulting the High Evolutionary. It’s as if the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe unfolds on TV–from the corner of the X-Men anyway.

I make no apologies for my disdain on the X-Men theme song. It really is atrocious and I wouldn’t mention it all the time if they somehow took it off of every episode and menu selection. Thankfully you can fast forward through it, but god forbid you leave to fix yourself a sandwich while the menu’s playing. As an artistic style, I think the series falls a bit flat. I realize that it’s supposed to mimic the art style of Jim Lee and that era of Marvel comics, but that over-rendered and over-cross-hatched style of art doesn’t look that good when it’s simplified into animation.

It doesn’t hold the iconic look and timelessness of the DC Animated series, it is very dated, and the colors don’t punch as hard as other series do but as far as putting the comics in a more faithful treatment in another medium there is no comparison. Re-watching these episodes reminded me of why the last X-Men movie (X3) didn’t work. They tried to put too many story lines into a two hour package and the X-Men story works so well in long form and in episodic. If the cartoon won’t tread that path, what did Brett Ratner and Fox think they could do that this animated series couldn’t? The X-Men animated series took the time that was needed to explain each story, and was never intimidated in doing crazy stories about Wundagore, or the Morlocks. This is the way superhero comics should be adapted, honest and truly.

Volume Three:

Disc 1
34 Savage Land, Strange Heart (1)
35 Savage Land, Strange Heart (2)
36 Obsession
37 Dark Phoenix: Dazzled (1)
38 Dark Phoenix: The Inner Circle (2)
39 Dark Phoenix: The Dark Phoenix (3)
40 Dark Phoenix: The Fate Of The Phoenix (4)

Disc 2 ?
41 Cold Comfort
42 Orphan’s End
43 The Juggernaut Returns
44 Nightcrawler
45 Weapon X, Lies and Videotape
46 One Man’s Worth (1)
47 One Man’s Worth (2)
48 Courage

Volume Four:

Disc 1
49 Proteus (1)
50 Proteus (2)
51 Sanctuary (1)
52 Sanctuary (2)
53 Beyond Good and Evil (1)
54 Beyond Good and Evil (2)
55 Beyond Good and Evil (3)
56 Beyond Good and Evil (4)

Disc 2

57 Have Yourself A Morlock Little Christmas
58 The Lotus and the Steel
59 Love in Vain
60 Secrets, Not Long Buried
61 Xavier Remembers
62 Family Ties

Audio/Video: B/B
These are standard DVD presented in full frame 4:3 aspect ratio. Audio is 2.0 stereo.

Extras: F
Nothing to speak of here because there are no extras. It’s not a big deal, I’m sure that keeps the price low but for those looking for something more won’t be satisfied by that.

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You may recall from earlier in the week, I loved me some Giant Sized Old Man Logan. I even went so far as to suggest that the mini-series could be the best–or at least my favorite–comic of the year.

But then I read the rest of my weekly pull, and remembered just how good Greg Rucka and JH Williams’ run on the Batwoman-centric Detective Comics has been. The previous issue wasn’t as good as their stunning first issue, but this latest–issue #857–was great. Stellar art, excellent action, and a tense, tight plot involving weapons of mass destruction, jumping from planes, rapid-fire character development, and plenty of face kicking. I still couldn’t care less about the Question backup story, though, which I suppose could be considered a knock against the book as a whole.

Another comic contending for book of the year is Fantastic Four, which I started reading again this year for Old Man Logan-mastermind Mark Millar’s run, but I’m definitely staying for the Hickman. New writer Jonathan Hickman (along with artist Dale Eaglesham) has actually one-upped Millar’s think big, then go bigger approach to the FF with what has so far been a great ride, with a focus on Reed Richards learning that maybe there is such a thing as doing too much good. or maybe just too many Reeds doing all the good.

We can’t forget Marvel Zombies Return–yet another good time that I’m having with a mini, and this one is weekly! I won’t pretend this book is in contention with any of the above for “best of the year,” but it has been a blast. True to it’s name, it is a definite return to the twisted fun of the original Marvel Zombies series.

I loved Amazing Spider-Man #606, too. I know for some it may feel like the creators are just repeating beats from old Spidey continuity, which might be considered a step back. But I missed the boat on the original Spidey/Black Cat episodes from back in the day, but I’ve always liked the idea of that relationship, enjoyed the way it was recently reimagined in the Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, and welcome it back to the comic proper. Black Cat has a fun personality to read and, as far as drawings go, she’s not too hard to look at either. It’s also worth noting that Mike McKone’s artwork in this issue is right up there with the rest of my favorites for the week.

Speaking of great artists and spider-themed spandex, I picked up the print version of the Brian Bendis/Alex Maleev Spider-Woman on a whim. See, I tried watching the motion comic version–which was the whole big deal about this comic in the first place (it was  written and layed out specifically with the motion comic platform in mind), and I didn’t like it. I couldn’t get through more than a minute of the motion version…something about the slow pace and the not-what-I-expected voice acting turned me off right away. I guess I just like my comics on paper, though, because reading it the way comics were meant to be read left me liking the book just fine. I’m a fan of Bendis, even if all his characters sound the same and all his books are decompressed. I’m an even bigger fan of Bendis when he’s writing for Alex Maleev, who manages to compliment the scripted mood, character beats, and bursts of action so well. I’m willing to stick around for a few issues just to enjoy the creative collaboration, even if I don’t know that I particularly care all that much about story they’re telling.

I also don’t care all that much about the plight of the Marvel mutant,these days, but I do think Matt Fraction is, at the very least, writing the best Cyclops I’ve read in a while. Uncanny X-Men has been on the cusp of droppage for a while, but there’s always some clever twist or strong character moment that tricks me into caring just enough to come back the next month. Fraction’s Cyclops won me over for at least one more issue.

Robert Kirkman will get me back for another issue, too, for Invincible, but this week’s issue #66–focusing on Invincible’s dad spilling secrets about the dwindling Viltrumite empire to Allen the Alien–was all exposition and quite dull. It’s all big important information that will be relevant later (you know, when characters get back to punching faces off), but the issue felt like a space filler.

And speaking of space fillers…what happened to my one-time favorite comic–Mike Allred’s Madman?! I picked up issue #17, which I think is the last issue of the current series, before some sort of relaunch I absolutely will not buy. What a self-indulgent load of boring, unentertaining blecch. The art is beautiful and playful and quirky as always, but it’s the writing that kills it for me. I am so happy Allred has taken to doing more work-for-hire art in the Marvel and DC Universes, because either I grew out of Madman or the book has just gotten dumb. I guess if you read it as a lost chapter to Red Rocket 7–rather than a relevant or representative part of the usually adorably awesome Frank Einstein’s–you might not hate it as much as I did…but I didn’t like RR7 all that much either. C’est la vie.

That’s all for this we…Oh, I almost forgot–New Avengers #57. The fact that I forgot it, even though it is in the stack of books I keep looking over at as I write this, doesn’t reflect well on it, but I promise, I didn’t dislike it. But it was only an okay read. Despite a ton of characters, good and evil, getting all sorts of sreentime (pagetime?), and assorted subplots related to Dark Reign threading through this book each month, not all that much of anything ever happens in this series. It is the worst example of Bendis’ bad habit for decompressed storytelling. Stuart Immonen is a welcome addition to the creative team, illustrating Bendis’ ongoing epic about the kitchen table in Bucky Barnes’ safehouse/Avenger’s HQ. If I were pinching pennies, this would definitely be another very droppable book, simply because it feels like it goes nowhere each issue, no matter how good (or okay) each issue is. 

That is all for my week in comics. How was yours?

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #606: The Black Cat returns! This isn’t a spoiler, because it’s in an ad in every Marvel comic. And, you know, the cover. Anywho. I’m kind of getting repetitious with beating the “Spider-Man is as fun as it has ever been” drum, so here’s one particular aspect of this issue I found surprising in a negative way: it felt like a big step backwards for the Black Cat. Not that I don’t love the her and Spidey romance issues (creepy roof-sex aside), but she’s grown a LOT as a character in the intervening years, and doesn’t really deserve to find herself back with Spidey, yet again. Yeah, weird, I know. Other than that, relatively fun issue, but also a slight step down from the creepiness of Van Lente’s excellent Chameleon arc, and the gang-busters over-sized #605.

ANITA BLAKE, THE LAUGHING CORPSE – NECROMANCER #5: This preview had, without a doubt, the longest file name I’ve ever seen.

AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #28: Though this series continues to be good, it’s suffering from what a lot of books get after the main purpose, and the main creative team move on… This used to be the backbone of the Marvel U, and I used to recommend it to anyone who wanted to know what was going on in Marvel comics. It was a great refresher, good character stories, and great art, issue after issue. It still has most of that, but it’s no longer the backbone, it’s more of a, I don’t know, what’s an unimportant bone? The skull? Well, anyway, the series is still reflective of what’s happening in the Universe at large, but it no longer seems to be effecting it. I’m curious to see whether this title will stick around in the long run.

DARK REIGN: THE LIST – X-MEN ONE-SHOT: As a gigantic fan of John Byrne’s work on Alpha Flight and the Fantastic Four, there’s a page in here that absolutely killed me and ripped my heart out like nothing else I’ve read this week. Beyond that, Matt Fraction turns in a reliably solid story directly following off the Utopia cross-over, and though I usually swoon over Alan Davis’ work, this was not my favorite issue he’s ever done. And in the larger view, I’m finding that this List event, while a solid series of comics, is not really delivering the lasting change that was promised. Like most of Norman Osborn’s projects, its all spin.

DARK X-MEN: THE CONFESSION ONE-SHOT: I would contend that this issue goes in the exact opposite direction of what you’d expect to happen. I’d also contend that maybe this is a good thing. And for those of you expecting big action, well… It’s called the Confession, not the Explosion. Nice one, Zalben.

ENDER’S SHADOW: COMMAND SCHOOL #1: All of these series so far are very, very good, but the books about Bean are a step above. I wouldn’t say this issue is necessarily a good jumping on point, but both of the Command School books are far more focused than the Battle School books. Makes me want to read the actual novels, and that’s a compliment.

FANTASTIC FORCE #4: Two points about this: 1) I wonder if, in Hickman’s book, when Ben and Johnny visit Nu-Earth, this series will be referenced at all, and 2) Last page has the most ridiculous, over the top thing Wolverine has ever done in the entire history of published Wolverine comics. This is not hyperbole.

FANTASTIC FOUR #571: The promise of last issue’s final page is fulfilled, if not in full, then at least in satisfying fashion. Plus! Though we’re pretty much focused on Reed(s), everybody else’s dialogue reads far more smoothly than it did last issue. Also! I’m really starting to think this series is not taking place in our main universe. Not going to say why, just my pet theory. Prove me wrong, Hickman. Prove me wrong. Or prove me right, either way is fine.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #18: Every single time I get sent an issue of this, I think Marvel has started publishing Gargamel comics, but that’s probably only weird to me (they abbreviate its title as “GARGAL”). And I know you’re all interested in file names, but on to the review of the issue: this series is darn good and fun. This issue, in particular, reminds me of a certain Bill Murray movie (if you said “Operation: Dumbo Drop,” you would be wrong), and is much lighter than the last issue in tone and execution. And I’m curious, more than anything, to see what the long game here is, and how it will play out. That’s enough to keep me on for the long haul.

IMMORTAL WEAPONS #3: The best thing about this series is that each issue has its own look and feel to it, as each one focuses on a different Immortal Weapon (hence, you know, the title). While this is my least favorite of the three so far, that still means its heads and tails above most comics, and Iron Fist fans should be picking this for Duane Swierczynski’s back-ups alone.

INCREDIBLE HERCULES #135: Every issue of this series is a fabulous adventure that deserves to be collected and read over and over. When people ask what the best comics of the first decade of the century were, they’ll fondly recall Pak and Van Lente’s classic run on Incredible Hercules. If you’re not reading it, you might as well give up reading comics. This is also not hyperbole.

INCREDIBLE HULK #602: People have been saying my critical faculties towards Hulk comics have been compromised since I wrote Hulk Team-Up (still on sale at comic book stores everywhere!). But if that were true, would I say that Incredible Hulk is back, and as good as it’s ever been? That the pairing of a de-powered Banner, and a finally starting to have fun Skaar is enjoyable, high action, smart comics? I mean yeah, I guess I would. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

MS. MARVEL #45: This arc may have gone on about one issue too long (it’s starting to feel a leeeeetle flabby), but damn if Brian Reed hasn’t taken Ms. Marvel to a new level, breaking the character down and making her completely unique and worthwhile.

NEW AVENGERS #57: Okay, remember earlier when I was complaining about things not mattering in Avengers books? This matters, for one character in particular, and the Marvel U at large. One of Bendis’ tightest, punchiest arcs on the book so far, full of fun moments, danger, and great character work.

NOVA #29: This issue is an ever-so-slight comedown from the great War of Kings tie-ins, but if you’re looking for old school comics at their best, look no further. I’ve never been a fan of the cosmic stuff, but I’m a fan of good comics, and Abnett and Lanning have made a believer out of me.

SPIDER-WOMAN #1: That’s weird… This motion comic barely moved at all.

UNCANNY X-MEN #515: A great character issue for Cyclops fans, showing probably the most realistic reaction to a big event I’ve ever read in a comic in a while. Also, a killer last page, but then, we all knew it was coming. Right?

WOLVERINE FIRST CLASS #19: “Wah, wah, wah. Comics are expensive. Wah, wah, wah. I can’t buy comics without having to buy a thousand other comics to understand what’s going on, so I won’t buy comics. Sniff, sniff. Everything is so dark, why aren’t comics fun anymore?” Hey crybaby: Wolverine First Class is an easily accessible, super fun comic book series for readers of comics new or old. This one comes with a fabulous Skottie Young cover, and only cost $2.99. Peter David writes (you like him, right?), and Dennis Calero draws (you DEFINITELY like him, right?). Game, set, and match, a-hole.

WOLVERINE ORIGINS #40: I really, really hope that this Romulus stuff pays off by revealing the mastermind behind everything is Remus, King of the Bird-People. But then, that’s only one of the many reasons I’m not writing Wolverine Origins.

WOLVERINE: OLD MAN LOGAN GIANT-SIZE #1: Goatse cover aside, this is a fun, big action conclusion to Millar and McNiven’s run on the title. And I’m going to reiterate what I’ve been saying all along: this is going to be a fabulous collection. Each individual issue, this one included, is like a light snack, with pretty much one major action beat per comic. But read as a trade, it’ll be a full, satisfying meal. McNiven’s pencils are cinematic, as always, and Millar writes cheeky action scenes like no one else. There’s one totally unnecessary Millar perversion in this issue, which must have seemed very funny at the time, but plays as just plain crass; though that shouldn’t stop you from picking this up. What might stop you is the back half of the issue, which is just a bunch of covers from the series, that, presumably, you already purchased. At $5 for an (albeit, over-sized) story, to throw in 20 pages of bonus material that will most likely appear in the upcoming trade collection is just a wee bit unfortunate.

This week, Halle Berry’s Storm is in our cross hair as we run down ten of our personal replacements from the hottest black actresses, singers, and models working today. Shameless? Of course it is.

What did YOU think? Talk about it in our community, or choose your top ten choices in our poll.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #597 – Is this the best Spider-Man has ever been? I’m going to go out on a limb and say, “possibly.” Spidey goes up against the Dark Avengers, and it ain’t pretty. Joe Kelly knows how to ratchet up the danger to Pete, which he does quite well in this issue. And Marco Chechetto’s art is great, reminiscent of Phil Jimenez without feeling derivative. Plus, we get a clue about what’s going to go down in ASM #600, and it’s both blindingly obvious, and a completely fun idea. Can’t wait.

BETA RAY BILL: GODHUNTER #1 – I want to ruin absolutely nothing about this book, because it came as a total surprise to me. It’s well written, well drawn, and you get a bonus “origin of Beta Ray Bill” reprint. Pick this up.

ENDER’S GAME: RECRUITING VALENTINE ONE-SHOT – I’m still having a hard time getting a handle on the Ender’s Universe, having never read the books, but holy crap, Timothy Green II’s use of light in the art in this issue is stunning. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite so cinematic in a comic book before. Whatever I think about the story and plot elements of these Enders books, Marvel is putting an incredible amount of talent on them.

FANTASTIC FOUR #567 – Why? Why must this book be so pretty, and yet so dumb. So unrelenting dumb? So incredibly dumb, it hurts my brain to think about. I love Mark Millar. I love his big, silly over the top action set pieces. And Bryan Hitch’s art is classic. But I wish it wasn’t tied to stories so stunningly un-original, they feel like something I came up with at age ten after reading comics, then playing with my action figures in the yard. “No, Doctor Doom isn’t the bad guy! This He-Man action figure is the real bad guy! And the only one that can stop him is… Rodimus Prime!” Sigh.

GENEXT: UNITED #2 – While reading this issue, I was thinking about the differences between Claremont’s approach to this, ostensibly the future of the X-Men, and X-Men Forever, which you could easily call the past of the X-Men. And he’s taking entirely opposite approaches to the two titles. Where X-Men Forever (and granted, this is based on one issue) feels like it’s purposely going against what would have ACTUALLY happened in issue #4 of X-Men back in the 90s (and will only go further against it from there), GeneXt is almost stubbornly not pushing the idea of the X-Men forward. And just in case it isn’t clear, I’m totally cool with that. This was a review of X-Men Forever, right?

LOCKJAW AND THE PET AVENGERS #2 – Ms. Lion is the most important new character in the Marvel Universe. I’m glad I said what we were all thinking.

PUNISHER: FRANK CASTLE MAX #71 – There’s nothing terribly wrong with this issue in particular, other than the fact that it’s a Punisher MAX comic not written by Garth Ennis. Oh, and the Punisher spends the entire issue doing absolutely nothing except squinting his eyes and wondering if anything is wrong. Which is what we all want out of a Punisher comic, right? Frank Castle thinking real hard like?

UNCANNY X-MEN #511 – Love this comic, love what Matt Fraction is doing with it, love some of the plot twists, do NOT like the rushed, ambiguous conclusion. YOu should pick it up anyway, though. It’s original, fun X-Men stories, and how long has it been since we had those. Forever. X-Men Forever.

WAR OF KINGS: SAVAGE WORLD OF SKAAR ONE-SHOT – If you like War of Kings, and also like Skaar, you are one of the ten people in the very small Venn Diagram of comic book readers who will by this book. Congratulations, I hope you like continuity headaches.

WOLVERINE #74 – I can take or leave the first story in this book, which plays exactly like each of the fifteen thousand Wolverine one shots that have come out over the past month. But the second story continues to be one of the best Wolverine stories… Ever. No joke. And the Wolverine/Spidey relationship continues to be totally delightful, even if it smacks of “hey, let’s take the two most marketable characters at Marvel, and put them together to make money I MEAN GOOD STORIES.” Anyway, it should be a law somewhere that only Jason Aaron is allowed to write Wolverine comics.

X-FACTOR #44 – Layla and Madrox together totally creeps me out. That’s all I’ve got.

As always, email us your questions or comments at pcs@popcultureshock.com or give us a call at 1-888-817-5766 and we’ll address your feedback on the next show.

The second time the X-Men saw anything other than the pages of a Marvel comic book was in 1992 on Fox Saturday mornings. Let us fondly remember the half hour 1989 X-Men special, Pryde of the X-Men as the first. [Pause for silence.] Marvel’s second attempt was a noble and modest attempt at trying to bring Marvel’s convoluted and complex mutant saga to television. In many ways they succeeded.

What was enjoyable out of the series was the dark and heavy tone, and the timely stories that reflected many classic X-Men stories such as The Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past, and Storm and the Morlocks. It also reflected the X-Men stories that were running through the comics that were being released at the time. Characters like Cable, Bishop, Omega Red and their relevant stories like the Legacy Virus and the Phalanx Covenant found their way on TV eventually. It was a fun time to be an X-Men fan both as a reader and a TV watcher. Stand-alone episodes like “Mojovision” worked as a distraction to an otherwise heavy series and it never strayed away from the relationships, the outer space stories, or the X-Men Traitor subplot. Give it credit, it wasn’t dumbed down to a younger audience by any means.

The animated series did a better of developing the characters than any of the movies which were all made to make Wolverine (and Magneto) look like bad mothers and succeeded in doing so, but so many of the other characters are given any real justice. Here, Storm actually looked and acted like the regal character that she is, The Dark Phoenix Saga actually worked in this format. And I think this was the first time I really felt Mystique was properly handled, and became the template for her movie counterpart.

But X-Men’s animation style left much to be desired. Everyone had hulking bodies, blocky shading, muted colors, but everything did work together somehow. The voice acting was hit or miss. Rogue was downright over-the-top at times, Gambit was laughable, but Beast, Wolverine, and many of the villains like Mr. Sinister and Apocalypse were dead on. One final thing I despised about the series was that terrible theme song. It’s as if it was put together with no thought and sounded as if it were put together on a cheap electronic Casio keyboard. What happened to the jazzy, finger-snapping, and catchy tunes of the 60′s Marvel cartoons? X-Men’s theme is embarassing, compounded even more when you compare the X-Men series with what the WB was doing with Batman: The Animated Series at the time. No contest.

The series’ strength is in the storytelling and extracting the classic X-Men stories in grand fashion. The first two volumes (of four) have been released and run through the middle of the third season with the Dark Phoenix Saga.

Volume 1 (391 minutes)
Disc 1
Night of the Sentinels (Part 1)
Night of the Sentinels (Part 2)
Enter Magneto
Deadly Reunions
Captive Hearts
Cold Vengeance
Slave Island
The Unstoppable Juggernaut

Disc 2
The Cure
Come the Apocalypse
Days of Future Past (Part 1)
Days of Future Past (Past 2)
The Final Decision
Till Death Do Us Part (Part 1)
Till Death Do Us Part (Part 2)
Whatever It Takes

Volume 2 (368 Minutes)
Disc 1
Red Dawn
Repo Man
X-Ternally Yours
Time Fugitives (Part 1)
Time Fugitives (Part 2)
A Rogue’s Tale
Beauty & The BEast
Mojovision

Disc 2
Reunion (Part 1)
Reunion (Part 2)
Out of the Past (Part 1)
Out of the Past (Part 2)
The Phoenix Saga (Part 1)
The Phoenix Saga (Part 2)
The Phoenix Saga (Part 3)
The Phoenix Saga (Part 4)
The Phoenix Saga (Part 5)

Video: B-
Both X-Men volumes comes in a standard definition MPEG-2 video transfer in their original 1.33:1 full screen aspect ratio. There’s nothing bad here but nothing spectacular either. It’s saturday morning affair, but the colors are bright, contrast ratio is acceptable, and all around solid for throwing into your portable laptop or an up-converting blu-ray player.

Audio: B-
Nothing major has been done to the audio department except for preserving the original Dolby Digital Surround 2.0 soundtrack. There’s some nice left to right and right to left effects, but is what you expect out of a television show from the 90′s.

Extras: D-
Outside of trailers for the new Sony 3-D animated film, G-Force, Monsters Inc., The Black Cauldron, Morning Light, and Lost Season 4 on blu-ray there’s absolutely nothing of extra value which is a waste. I’m not expecting any commentaries but perhaps some small feature on working with the editors/writers of the comics at the time would have been nice. Perhaps some interviews with the creators who had some of their stories tapped for the television series could have been put together. It’s disappointing and lazy but it’s the best we’ll get.

Overall Shock Value: C+
If you can overlook the style choices, the 90′s X-Men cartoons still put forth a faithful and likable series. The stories built on one another, the effort felt epic, and outside of reading 40 years worth of comics, this is a good an X-Men experience as any. For longtime X-Men readers this was a great supplement, but I wonder how many new comic readers came out of this series. The usual dark and barrage of characters were hardly inviting to new audiences. But forget new readers, this series was for fanboys who eagerly awaited for their favorite characters to have their own spotlight (Alpha Flight anyone, or the Juggernaut; before he was hilariously bastardized on the internet). Depending on how deep your love for the X-Men goes, warts and all, the X-Men Animated Series on DVD is an affordable must-have for Marvel Mutant Zombies and DCU Haters.

Ernie Estrella