DARK AVENGERS #11: Sigh. I just have a soft spot for the Molecule Man, I’m sorry guys. And I really think Bendis has hit his groove with this title, mixing his patented naturalistic dialogue with action, perfectly complemented by Mike Deodato’s moody art. Plus, in this issue, we get some painted pages by Greg Horn, and I don’t know the last time I saw interior art by the guy, but it looks great. This is a great looking comic, lots of fun, and I’m going to be a little sad to see it go (assuming it does, in fact, go after the upcoming Siege event).

DARK REIGN: THE LIST – AMAZING SPIDER-MAN: Adam Kubert draws an amazing Spider-Man (no pun intended), but I guess you wouldn’t expect anything less from the guy. First off, I’ll say its a smart move by Marvel to use Mr. Kubert on specials and short runs, rather than promising he can deliver a monthly book. That’s another win in Mr. Wacker’s column, in my book. And this book looks great. Reading wise, Dan Slott turns in another near perfect Spider-Man script, perfectly melding character moments, old-school fun, and good story. Except, and I’m going to get back on my soapbox now that we’re done with this “List” event… Basically nothing happens. In the grand scheme of things, I mean. The one List book that had a major event was The Punisher, which by all accounts was, I think, a high mark for Rick Remender, The Punisher, and Marvel in general. Not that every issue of The List needed to hold up to that standard, but I wish there was some sort of moving the story forward, that something had happened. There is a minor victory for Peter Parker towards the end of this book, and its a nice moment, but honestly, is Parker leaking a video on the internet really going to show up as a plot point in any other book?

It’s frustrating, because I would really, really like ASM: The List to be the biggest and baddest part of this mini-event, but it just can’t be, because… You can’t have Spider-Man win that big. Spidey can’t actually reveal Norman’s true villainy to the world, because that would mean Spider-Man was revealed as a world-wide hero. There’s ways around that, sure, but Spider-Man works best when everybody hates him. So he can’t win that big, he has to win, but kind of lose. And he can’t kill Norman, because he doesn’t kill. Plus, we got to save that for Siege, right? My point is, as a fan, I still think of Osbourne as Spider-Man’s villain, and I feel like Spidey needs to take him down, but given the character, and the layout of the Universe, that just can’t happen. So instead, I’m frustrated.

Anyway, great looking issue, solid read, if you want some pretty Kubert art, pick it up.

DEADPOOL: MERC WITH A MOUTH #5: This title is growing on me, but veeeery slowly. Not to sound like a broken record, but considering you’ve already got Deadpool and Headpool in the book, it seems unnecessary and repetitive to even include the Deadpool double narration boxes. I’d rather just see those two bicker and be done with it. I also like how The Gisch is filling out the supporting cast with fun riffs on previous DP continuity. I’m curious to see where this goes after this arc, and hopefully, it can forge its own way, and move out of… Way’s… shadow.

INCREDIBLE HULK #604: You know that feeling when you take a deep breath and let it out, and how relaxing and refreshing that is? That’s what having Greg Pak back on the Hulk is like. A breath of fresh air, or at least air you’ve breathed before that feels fresh again. Or something. Anyway. Banner, Skaar, and Warbound vs. The Leader? What’s not to love? Pak keeps adding his own take to the Hulk mythos, and shows why he’s the best writer of the character since Peter David. Love this series, pick it up.

MIGHTY AVENGERS #31: Dan Slott and Christos Gage bring it all together to end out the best arc of this title in a good long while. Classic Avengers action, classic avengers moments, great fun shout outs and good actions pieces. My only caveat is that the art seems a little crowded, but that’s a quibble when its so much fun to just see heroes being heroes, and all working together to save the day. Fun.

NOMAD: GIRL WITHOUT A WORLD #3: As nice as it is to see Sean McKeever back at Marvel, working in high school (where he excels), this just isn’t grabbing me. It ain’t bad, by any means, its a well crafted comic book, but I guess I just don’t care enough about Rikki Barnes yet. Ah well.

PUNISHER #11: Tony Moore and Rick Remender working together is a-okay with me. And this Frankencastle storyline gets to an insane, over the top start, as you might expect. Love it.

REALM OF KINGS: Abnett and Lanning have one of the most complex, yet easy to follow road-maps for their cosmic books I’ve ever seen. And it all kicks off in spectacular fashion in this one shot. I thought they couldn’t take the action and danger to another level. I think I was wrong. Love these books, love the direction of them, and I love the focus that’s happening throughout. Great stuff.

REALM OF KINGS INHUMANS #1: On the other hand… There’s a killer last page to this issue, but otherwise, it’s one of the more snooze-worthy Inhumans mini-series in a while. Granted, the characters are in a place where they’re all miserable, and for the first time in a long time, they have a real status quo that can’t immediately be broken, but it feels like the backbone of this cosmic universe has moved on to Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy.

THUNDERBOLTS #138: Jeff Parker makes his debut on the title, and while I love the Parker, this won’t knock anyone’s socks off. However, he continues the feel of the past few issues well without missing a beat… I’m just looking forward to him maybe blazing his own path. And maybe bringing in a few A-Listers. It feels like this title needs a new mission statement, and soon.

WAR MACHINE #11: The little title that could keeps chugging along, and though I THINK it’s canceled already, Greg Pak has made a fascinating uber story that has done a lot to build up Rhodey’s character, and define his supporting cast. It’s too bad this won’t be around in the long term, because in Year Two, it feels like it could have gotten quite good.

WOLVERINE WEAPON X #7: I’m totally loving this storyline, with Logan caught in the world’s most disturbing lunatic asylum, scared and fighting for his life. Sure, it’s not the most original story of all time (it’s been done in Buffy, for one), but I’m completely caught up in the mystery, and can’t wait to find out how Wolvie ended up there. Kudos to Jason Aaron for turning in another solid arc.

X-MEN LEGACY #229: Speaking of little engines, I still don’t get what this title is about (other than secretly The New Adventures of Rogue and Gambit), but Mike Carey, as always, chugs right along with a solid story that pays tribute to Generation X, one of the much beloved, much forgotten pieces of X-history past.

AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #29: Another consistently solid issue of this title. There are some cheese-ball moments throughout, and the cliffhanger is paced far too quickly for it to have any sort of resonance (unless I’m forgetting things from previous issues). But those quibbles aside, A:TI continues to shine the light in the forgotten corners of the Marvel Universe, while still staying squarely in the middle. I’m going to be a little bummed if it gets canceled at the end of Dark Reign, but if the rumored Avengers Academy takes its place, and stays consistent to the tone presented here, I’m definitely on board.

DARK AVENGERS: ARES #1: Kieron Gillen continues to prove why he was made to write about gods and mortals, perfectly capturing Ares character here, as well as creating some indelible military images. Which is why its such a bummer that this suggests, at least, its going to tie into other comics at the end of the issue. It may not, who knows, but the first 20 or so pages are filled with brilliant menace. I hope the next issue is as good as this one, and doesn’t exactly follow up on the promise of the cliffhanger here.

DARK REIGN: THE LIST – PUNISHER: Now this is what the “List” books should have been all along. This is easily the biggest issue of the week, Marvel-wise, and if you ignore that the ending has been effectively spoiled for months now by Marvel itself, and take the book on its own merits, it kicks an ass and a half. My main problem with the List books so far is this: they purport to be Normie taking Dark Reign to the next level, attacking the heroes where they live. But they come off as attempts hampered by continuity, lack of change, and perhaps editorial decree (oh no! editors! run!). So you get lame things like sending Bullseye after Daredevil with Norman’s over-arching plan being, “Make Daredevil feel bad.” Or Norman’s plan to take down Clint Barton is to wait until he comes into Avengers Tower, and then arrest him. Or, my personal favorite, taking care of Namor once and for all by killing a character we haven’t seen in more than a decade (though I will admit that got to me). I think the key term there is “once and for all…” The endings of these one shots have felt very much like Norman going in loops (standing in for the authors), explaining how the result of the book was a big victory for him. The other problem I’ve had is that these plans have consistently had a reverse Acts of Vengeance feel to them. Rather than mixing things up, Norman sends the same villains who have previously gotten their butts handed to them multiple times by the hero, and expects they’ll be victorious this time. They’re not.

All of this, and I still haven’t talked about this issue, so here we go… And there are spoilers here: Norman decides to take care of the Punisher once and for all. Does he resurrect Jigsaw and send him after Frank? Heck no. He blows up everything in a five block radius around him. And when that doesn’t work, he sends hundreds of H.A.M.M.E.R. agents to kill him. And when that starts to work, he sends in Daken, who slices Frank Castle into tiny little pieces. And if you’re not sure that worked, the issue ends with tiny little pieces of Frank lying in a pile in a alleyway. The end.

Now, that is what I’m talking about. Plus, you’ve got John Romita Jr. drawing at the top of his game, Klaus Janson writing, and insane, over the top action courtesy of Rick Remender. If there’s one fault with this issue, it’s that we also get a preview of the next issue of Punisher (by Tony Moore and Rick Remender, hells yeah), and we know he’s not gone for long.

But like I said, on its own merits? This is a classic comic, and worth every penny.

DARK REIGN: THE LIST – WOLVERINE: Yeah, and then there’s this. Totally fine writing and art, Jason Aaron writing a fun, over the top story as usual, but read above for all my previous criticisms of the List books, and apply that here, too.

DARK REIGN: YOUNG AVENGERS #5: The resolution of this series is hampered a bit by the idea that I don’t think we’ll ever see these characters again, so its a little hard to get into their struggle. Also, though Paul Cornell’s scripting is reliably good, most of the last few issues of this mini have taken place in one warehouse, with the characters just talking. Kinda boring, honestly. I think there was potential here to have a new, Young Masters of Evil to counter the Young Avengers, but it was squandered on yet another recruitment drive story. Ah well.

FANTASTIC FOUR #572: People are really loving this run a lot, and… I’m not totally sold. Love Jonathan Hickman, LOVE Dale Eaglesham, and the inventiveness on display here is surprising and fun in all the right ways. But the situation with the Council of Reeds and the Celestials is resolved a little too quickly and easily, without using all the tools on display (hey, what about that room full of Dooms, huh?), and Reed’s emotional resolution with Sue, while nice, also feels a little quick. Plus, Hickman separates Johnny and Ben from the group before Reed even gets back. So we’re not gonna get a full group story for a while, which is a bummer. It’s possible Hickman is holding certain ideas and arcs in reserve, so we haven’t seen how this all plays out yet, but I’m not quite falling in love with this as hard as other people are. I’m still keeping with it, though, because its a well made comic, and I expect it’ll get even better, even if it isn’t grabbing me right now.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #19: Well, that situation was resolved way more quickly than I thought it would be. GotG is solid month after month, and its a thrill to see Kang, one of the most integral characters in the history of the Marvel U, back in the spotlight, however briefly.

HULK #16: Who is the Red She-Hulk? Who cares? And I mean that in a good sense, actually, because Loeb is finally remembering that comics are about characters, not just blow-em-ups and super-secrets. I could actually care less about the whole conspiracy angle, but like the attempt to give the Red Hulk some sort of character, and how more is revealed through the new Red She-Hulk. This is not high art by any means, but its been fun, and a step up for two issues in a row.

INCREDIBLE HERCULES #137: There’s nothing I don’t like about this book. Tying up the Amadeus Cho half of this particular arc, we get good emotion, great ideas, and lots of myths, just the way we like it. This book is great.

MS. MARVEL #46: Brian Reed made a pretty bold choice with this arc, to make Karla Sofen (Moonstone) the focus, and “hero” of the arc, while Carol Danvers is most decidedly the villain. And it works, while keeping them both on their sides of the fence anyway. I do think this fizzled a bit, starting far stronger than it ended, but we’re probably (hopefully) getting some follow up on this arc as we switch perspectives back to Danvers. Definitely one of the more underrated titles Marvel is publishing right now, and worth jumping on for next issue at least to check it out.

NEW AVENGERS #58: Bendis has really gotten his groove back on this arc. Its based in the characters, good action, and fun beats throughout. Hope it keeps up, ’cause this is a lot of fun.

NEW MUTANTS #6: The moment we have all been waiting for has finally come: Doug Ramsey is back. Okay, maybe only I was waiting for it, and herein lies the crux of this review: I can’t divorce myself from my feelings for Doug enough to properly review this issue. Everybody has that character, that one character they unequivocally love, and for me it was always Cypher. So… Yeah. Good issue, but I couldn’t read it without feeling kind of uncomfortable, because this isn’t even close to the Doug I know. Amping up his powers to treat combat as a “language” is cool in theory, but it does just come off as “Doug’s powers are lame, let’s figure out a way to make ‘em interesting.” Also, this is probably the 56th time he’s come back as a techno-organic being, so its lost its power a bit. Take this all with a very large grain of salt, by the way. If you haven’t already.

PUNISHER #10: Read this before The List. I would say that this has one of the most insane moments in Punisher history; so much so, it made me angry. And you wouldn’t like me when I’m… Can’t think of a word to finish that statement. Oh well!

SECRET WARRIORS #9: I keep going back and forth about this title. If it focuses on one character (say, Nick Fury or Phobos), I like it quite a bit. If it’s a team story, like this issue, I honestly can’t remember who all the Secret Warriors are, so it’s a little difficult to follow. Does that make me racist towards Secret Warriors? Probably.

ULTIMATE COMICS ARMOR WARS #2: Did Bryan Hitch ghost-pencil this? I swear to god, I didn’t realize this was Steve Kurth and not Hitch until I went back to check the title page. This is silly, the kind of “remixing old stories” that the Ultimate U was supposed to have left behind. I honestly don’t know if any of it would make any sense to someone who hasn’t read the main Marvel U. For someone who has, like myself, it’s a lark, but a negligible one.

ULTIMATE COMICS AVENGERS #3: Same thing here, with remixing Marvel U ideas… Except it kind of works, because Millar is drawing on his run on Ultimates, and skipping right over the Loeb stuff. Great art, big over the top globe trotting story, huge action… Just the way we like it.

X NECROSHA: Blackest Night begins here! Its actually unfortunate that this is coming so close to the heels of BN, though to the writer’s credit, it zips through the “Oh my god! Look who’s back alive!” thing much more quickly and efficiently. I’m not sold on this yet, but if you want the tapestry of the X-Men part of the universe for the next few months, you have to start here. Actually, read X-Force first, then this, then New Mutants. But yeah, start here. In the middle.

X-FACTOR #50: I would love to say this is a triumphant end of this title’s biggest arc, but… Well, X-Factor is always solid, and always fun, but this is a little too texty. And plotty. And wraps up a bunch of stuff that I didn’t really care about, so unfortunately the stuff I do care about, like Layla Miller’s secret origin, and what’s going on with Evil Madrox kind of get short shrift. That’s too bad, but at least we’re clearing the deck for a new start next issue, and hopefully more people will start picking it up.

X-FORCE #20: Basically a continuation of the X-23 series, this is hardcore, sad, and everything that is good about this comic on a regular basis.

10 books reviewed:
Amazing Spider-Man #596 (BUY IT)
Batman and Robin #1 (BUY IT)
Dark Avengers #5 (SPLIT VERDICT)
Black Panther #5 (DON’T BOTHER)
Skaar: Son of Hulk #11 (BUY IT)
Superman: World of New Krypton #4 (WAIT FOR THE TRADE)
Ultimate Spider-Spider #133 (BUY IT)
Punisher: Naked Kill #53 (DON’T BOTHER)
Outro, Mighty Avengers #25 & Conan #11

Agree? Disagree? Think we don’t know what the heck we’re talking about? Leave your comments below!

And if you think we your feedback doesn’t matter, you’re wrong — last time out everyone begged us to stop putting the intro in between every segment and we listened — thank God!

Special thanks to Midtown Comics for providing Jon’s books for review.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #597 – Is this the best Spider-Man has ever been? I’m going to go out on a limb and say, “possibly.” Spidey goes up against the Dark Avengers, and it ain’t pretty. Joe Kelly knows how to ratchet up the danger to Pete, which he does quite well in this issue. And Marco Chechetto’s art is great, reminiscent of Phil Jimenez without feeling derivative. Plus, we get a clue about what’s going to go down in ASM #600, and it’s both blindingly obvious, and a completely fun idea. Can’t wait.

BETA RAY BILL: GODHUNTER #1 – I want to ruin absolutely nothing about this book, because it came as a total surprise to me. It’s well written, well drawn, and you get a bonus “origin of Beta Ray Bill” reprint. Pick this up.

ENDER’S GAME: RECRUITING VALENTINE ONE-SHOT – I’m still having a hard time getting a handle on the Ender’s Universe, having never read the books, but holy crap, Timothy Green II’s use of light in the art in this issue is stunning. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite so cinematic in a comic book before. Whatever I think about the story and plot elements of these Enders books, Marvel is putting an incredible amount of talent on them.

FANTASTIC FOUR #567 – Why? Why must this book be so pretty, and yet so dumb. So unrelenting dumb? So incredibly dumb, it hurts my brain to think about. I love Mark Millar. I love his big, silly over the top action set pieces. And Bryan Hitch’s art is classic. But I wish it wasn’t tied to stories so stunningly un-original, they feel like something I came up with at age ten after reading comics, then playing with my action figures in the yard. “No, Doctor Doom isn’t the bad guy! This He-Man action figure is the real bad guy! And the only one that can stop him is… Rodimus Prime!” Sigh.

GENEXT: UNITED #2 – While reading this issue, I was thinking about the differences between Claremont’s approach to this, ostensibly the future of the X-Men, and X-Men Forever, which you could easily call the past of the X-Men. And he’s taking entirely opposite approaches to the two titles. Where X-Men Forever (and granted, this is based on one issue) feels like it’s purposely going against what would have ACTUALLY happened in issue #4 of X-Men back in the 90s (and will only go further against it from there), GeneXt is almost stubbornly not pushing the idea of the X-Men forward. And just in case it isn’t clear, I’m totally cool with that. This was a review of X-Men Forever, right?

LOCKJAW AND THE PET AVENGERS #2 – Ms. Lion is the most important new character in the Marvel Universe. I’m glad I said what we were all thinking.

PUNISHER: FRANK CASTLE MAX #71 – There’s nothing terribly wrong with this issue in particular, other than the fact that it’s a Punisher MAX comic not written by Garth Ennis. Oh, and the Punisher spends the entire issue doing absolutely nothing except squinting his eyes and wondering if anything is wrong. Which is what we all want out of a Punisher comic, right? Frank Castle thinking real hard like?

UNCANNY X-MEN #511 – Love this comic, love what Matt Fraction is doing with it, love some of the plot twists, do NOT like the rushed, ambiguous conclusion. YOu should pick it up anyway, though. It’s original, fun X-Men stories, and how long has it been since we had those. Forever. X-Men Forever.

WAR OF KINGS: SAVAGE WORLD OF SKAAR ONE-SHOT – If you like War of Kings, and also like Skaar, you are one of the ten people in the very small Venn Diagram of comic book readers who will by this book. Congratulations, I hope you like continuity headaches.

WOLVERINE #74 – I can take or leave the first story in this book, which plays exactly like each of the fifteen thousand Wolverine one shots that have come out over the past month. But the second story continues to be one of the best Wolverine stories… Ever. No joke. And the Wolverine/Spidey relationship continues to be totally delightful, even if it smacks of “hey, let’s take the two most marketable characters at Marvel, and put them together to make money I MEAN GOOD STORIES.” Anyway, it should be a law somewhere that only Jason Aaron is allowed to write Wolverine comics.

X-FACTOR #44 – Layla and Madrox together totally creeps me out. That’s all I’ve got.

As usual (well, as of last week and this week, usual), we’ve got spoiler-free reviews of tomorrow’s Marvel Comics today! Be sure to check back tomorrow and leave your thoughts, and we’ll have more spoilery looks on the video shows this week.

BLACK PANTHER #4 – Boy, they sure are taking their time with this “Who is the new Black Panther?” thing, huh? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s competently done, but I think I enjoyed the immense amounts of fun Reginald Hudlin brought to the run before it went to its new numbering. Now it’s all mysticism and gothic intensity, and it’s losing my interest.

DARK REIGN: HAWKEYE #2 – As much as I like the idea of this series, the execution is a little lacking. Whereas last issue had a strong focus on Bullseye wanting to be known as Bullseye, not Hawkeye, this issue jettisons all that in favor of a new psychological take on the mass murdering sai-stealer. Again, it’s not bad, Andy Diggle knows what he’s doing; but I can’t help but think this would have been far better as a one-shot, ala Chris Gage’s Thunderbolts one-shots, which focused on a character, informed the main book, but worked mainly as supplemental material. I also like Tom Raney’s pencils a lot, they’re nice and clean, but he has a bright, almost bubbly flair that doesn’t quite match the realism of Dark Avengers, for example.

DARK REIGN: YOUNG AVENGERS #1 – This should be Young Masters of Evil, right? And it almost is, except for some garbage about, “We’re heroes! No we’re not! Are we? I don’t know!” I love Paul Cornell’s writing dearly, but this is a bit of a mess, mainly because it’s entirely unclear who these young heroes are aspiring to be. The idea is great: young heroes inspired by the Dark Avengers are like the Young Masters of Evil. Except… Nobody knows the Dark Avengers are evil, so it comes off as a fantastic, unexplained coincidence that there’s a baby Enchantress, and Executioner, etc. Hopefully this will clear up a bit next issue, because Cornell (and the idea) deserve better than this first one.

DEADPOOL: SUICIDE KINGS #2 – I feel like I’m coming off as quite the negative nancy this week, so apologies on one more negative review before a few positive ones, but none of this comic makes any sense. Sorry, that’s a little strong, but how hard is it to pit Deadpool against The Punisher? It’s not. You barely need an excuse. Yet this book is bending over backwards to come up with a reason for them to come to blows. Here, I’ll pitch a better comic right now: The Punisher realizes Deadpool is an amoral assassin, and decides to kill him. Done! Goodbye.

GENEXT: UNITED #1 – The first GeneXt series was a nice surprise… Given the complicated premise, that the X-Men had aged in real time in from their first appearance, and now had grandchildren running around with mutant powers, it was surprisingly successful with an old school X-Men feel. Which makes sense, given that Chris Claremont wrote and created it. This issue picks up minutes after the end of the last series, and works just as well. If you want fun, old school X-Men tales set in modern times, this book is well worth a look.

LOCKJAW AND THE PET AVENGERS #1 – It’s embarrassing how excited I was for this book, and boy did it deliver. I’m not going to say much other than you probably know from the title whether you want to read this or not. If it’s “not,” let me correct you and say that yes, you do want to read it. It’s the most fun you’ll have reading an Avengers book all month. No joke. Marvel has been killing it with its pseudo-continuity books like Dr. Doom and the Masters of Evil, the Power Pack books, and X-Men: First Class; Pet Avengers fits in there quite well, thank you. Also, if Speedball’s cat Niles ends up in some sort of S&M armor by the end of the series, I will kiss Chris Eliopoulos square on the mouth.

PUNISHER: FRANK CASTLE MAX #70 – This is the last issue of the arc, and I haven’t read an issue since Ennis’ run, but it sure does seem like a lot of elements from what good old Garth was doing on the title, without the insane intensity. Ah well.

SAVAGE SHE-HULK #2 – I know a lot of people are mad that She-Hulk (aka Jennifer Walters) was cancelled for this title, and is being replaced by a new She-Hulk (Thundra and the Hulk’s daughter). Too bad none of that is true. She-Hulk was cancelled, but not because of this title. That was a happy accident. And the Savage She-Hulk isn’t replacing Jenny… She’s all over this issue, being as awesome as ever. There’s still a lot we don’t know about this character, and it seems like all four issues are going to be the superhero equivalent of 16 Blocks, but I’m officially on board with the new Thrulk. If you’ve been avoiding the title for any of the above reasons, stop it, and pick up this issue. You’re supporting new characters in the Marvel universe if you do, and single handedly destroying comics if you’re not. That may be a little harsh, actually. And untrue. Maybe.

SECRET WARRIORS #4 – I gotta say, four issues in, and I’m still not 100% sure who all of these characters are, or what they’re about. As a team book, it seems like we may have one of those “The team after the first arc isn’t the same as where we started!” things going on, which is starting to make me think, “Maybe I’ll wait until after the first arc, then!” As a Nick Fury book, though, Hickman and Bendis are rocking it. They have a great handle on Fury, where he’s at, and what he’s about. It’s nice that he’s returned to the Marvel Universe proper in style, with his own, f-ing terrifying Rogues Gallery. That’s not even mentioning Stefano Caselli’s gorgeous art, which makes this book worth picking up on its own.

THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ #6 – What can I say that hasn’t previously been said. Every issue is like a work of art. I mean, it is a work of art. Pick it up.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #132 – Goddamn if this isn’t the most consistently great title Marvel has ever published. Bendis is writing this title so well, and so completely owning everything about it, that I can’t imagine anyone else ever writing the title. He’s even writing a great story arc in the face of the monumentally crappy Ultimatum event. And as much as I’m super giddy about David LaFeunte on Ultimate Comics Spider-Man when this relaunches in two issues, I’m going to miss Stuart Immonen’s superb art. I GUESS it’ll be okay that he’s going over to New Avengers. OH WELL. By the way, slight spoiler time, but anyone else think Bendis might (seriously, potential spoilers if I am an incredible genius) kill/get rid of Peter Parker? I could be totally off base here, but I think at least for the first arc or two, Ultimate Comics Spider-Man could probably be titled Ultimate Spider-Woman Comics. Don’t get me wrong, I’m betting Pete’ll come back from the “dead” at some point (and not that he’s dead at the end of this issue, I’m just speculating), but if I’m right, you all owe me cookies.

WAR OF KINGS: ASCENSION #2 – Why is there a comic book about Darkhawk? And why is it so fun? I feel weird.

X-FACTOR #43 – Peter David, as promised, is continuing to do a lovely job of making X-Factor as fun, exciting, and surprising as it has ever been, but there’s one moment in here that totally grossed me out. You’ll know what it is when you see it. In its own way, it’s as shocking a reveal as anything on the last pages of the previous three issues. And that’s not counting this issue’s last page reveal, which is fun and shocking in its own way. In case it isn’t clear, go pick this up.

EMINEM/PUNISHER: KILL YOU

All-new 16-page story to be featured exclusively in the June issue of XXL magazine and on Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited on May 5th

NEW YORK ? Marvel Comics has teamed up with Eminem and XXL magazine to celebrate his anticipated upcoming album Relapse with an all-new story featuring the renowned rapper and Marvel?s notorious vigilante, The Punisher, in Eminem/Punisher: Kill You.

Back from a three-year hiatus, Eminem is set to grace two XXL covers posing as The Punisher for the magazine?s June issue on stands May 5, two weeks before his fifth solo album, Relapse, hits stores May 19.

A special collector?s edition, the magazine also includes the first part of an exclusive collaboration between XXL, Shady and Marvel Comics — Eminem/Punisher: Kill You — a special edition Punisher comic book starring Eminem and created by Marvel Comics.

This all new story written by Fred Van Lente (Amazing Spider-Man) with art by Salvador Larroca (Invincible Iron Man) takes place in Detroit after Eminem performs on stage and gets involved in a conflict with The Punisher and his old foe Barracuda. The first half of the story will be featured as a bonus eight page special edition comic printed in the June issue of XXL magazine, with the eight page conclusion available exclusively on Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited (www.marvel.com/eminem) for free starting May 5th.

?When we learned that Eminem is a fan and collector of Marvel comics, we could only imagine what would happen if The Punisher and Slim Shady met up in the Marvel Universe,? said Marvel?s Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada. ?This was a unique partnership and the team had a blast working with Eminem and incorporating the rapper into the Marvel fold.?

For fans of the Punisher, Eminem and those wanting to own a part of the action, visit your local newsstand to purchase the magazine on May 5, 2009 and then be sure to visit www.marvel.com/eminem to experience the second part of the story.

Marvel Comics is a division of Marvel Entertainment, Inc., one of the world’s most prominent character-based entertainment companies, built on a proven library of over 5,000 characters featured in a variety of media over seventy years. . Marvel utilizes its character franchises in licensing, entertainment (via Marvel Studios and Marvel Animation) and publishing (via Marvel Comics). Marvel’s strategy is to leverage its franchises in a growing array of opportunities around the world, including feature films, consumer products, toys, video games, animated television, direct-to-DVD and online. For more information visit www.marvel.com.

Back when Marvel had this knack for licensing out their properties exclusively to studios that were on the verge of going out of business, the first attempt to bring The Punisher to live came with Dolph Lundgren. He certainly had the physique, but brawn will only get you so far, even in the 80s era of unapologetically dumb action movies. While it had its moments, most people seem to focus on the lack of a skull logo, the lack of good acting, and on a lesser note, the lack of clothing, as one scene features Frank Castle meditating bare-butt naked in a sewer!!! I know the character is supposed to be emotionally “dead inside” and all that, but it doesn’t mean he should be risking dysentery!

2004 saw a new Punisher film that actually saw theatrical release, starring Thomas Jane. Again, it’s only enjoyable on a moment-by-moment basis, and as a whole, plays out more like The Count of Monte Cristo than a straight-forward revenge flick. We don’t want to see the Punisher trick his enemies into killing each other, we want to see him PUNISH PEOPLE!! Although I did get a kick out of him shoving a knife up some guy’s chin so you could see the blade in his mouth. Other than that, the film suffered from trying too hard. Too many variables complicated Frank’s origin, and led to such ludicrous scenes as Frank’s entire extended family being slaughtered by gangsters at his family reunion! What makes the scene even more ridiculous is how absolutely bloodless it is! Barring all that, whose bright idea was it to release it on the same weekend as Kill Bill Vol. 2?!?! I guess Lionsgate and Marvel could take pride in the fact that it wasn’t nearly as bad as Man-Thing!

So here we are, four years later, with Punisher: Warzone. Like The Incredible Hulk, the idea is to not accept this new film as a sequel or a remake, but a “re-imagining”, hence the roundabout subtitling. Yeah, whatever. They FUBAR’ed the last flick, and they’re too chickenshit to admit it. Thomas Jane was all set to star in this film, but they took too long and ultimately went in a direction he didn’t like. In any event, we’ve now got Ray Stevenson, and I’ll admit, it looks like the role suits him. He’s not nearly as buff as Lundgren, but there’s decidedly grit to him than Jane. The film also brings Frank back to the dark gritty streets of New York (or Montreal doubling for New York), probably because fans cried like babies when the last film took place in sunny Tampa, Florida. Then there’s the wild card, Lexi Alexander. I’m sure some might balk at the idea of a woman directing a Punisher film, but this chick is comparable to Katheryn Bigelow when it comes to directing films sure to inspire bouts of masculine grunting and homoerotic floor wrestling. Watch Green Street Hooligans (just “Hooligans” in the UK), and marvel at her ability to make Elijah Wood look like a certified badass you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. Allegedly, Alexander had to fight to keep the film as bloody and brutal as it appears to be in what little footage I’ve seen. The headshots alone are beautifully disgusting!

Could the third time be the charm for The Punisher? Hard to say, but I’m willing to give this new film a chance. I think it’s a matter of managing one’s expectations. At the end of the day, we know it’s not going to be Shakespeare, but one has to wonder, how much leeway can we really give this film? How much bad acting can we tolerate? How thin is too thin when it comes to the story? How visible should the skull be on his chest?!?

I think they could have fit a few more guns in there, personally.