DR. SELA MATHERS: My spider-sense tells me something horrible is coming. Sony, please stop while you are ahead. I mean, haven’t we learned from our past mistakes, the Leprechaun franchise should have never entered the hood.

SNAKE: Well, you gotta bet big to win big, and ‘dis flick cost like half a billion bucks!

LOU: That’s quite the astute gambling analogy, Snake.

SNAKE: You bet it is — cause from what I hear, the movie was CRAPS! Har har.

SKRAP: They don’t have to worry about making 4,5,6 ‘cause they crammed all of that into Spidey 3. This movie was waaay overcomplicated for no reason. The black suit didn’t show up until 70 minutes into the movie, Peter does a 10 minute Charleston, and Sandman cried at the end, then blowing away in a ever-so-gentle wind…’nuff said. Yo shouts to the big man Stan tho, good looks on that quote for my book homie!!

BOMB QUEEN: “Good stories”? Venom gets his literal 15 minutes of fame. Sandman breaks down crying. Harry goes flaccid after disfigurement. Look, you ask me to be here, I haven’t killed you yet, so listen because your life depends on it. When you don’t respect the villains then you get hero porn like this. I don’t give rat’s ass how much money it makes. I don’t care how many sequels are planned, and I can piss on all the duped fans who flocked to this circle jerk – but believe me, if they want a “good story” then give us villains respect, stop the onion tears and get on with beating Spider-man’s ass. Meanwhile, Spider-Man needs to park his Peter in his girl-next-door, Ursula. She’s willing to bend over a chair and he can even score free rent. High-maintenance “MJ” doesn’t even give out “BJs” – so I say dump the ho. I should be directing these movies, we need a hardcore Spider-Man.