This wasn’t a huge week for the Big Two. There were a few books here and there, but it all felt as though we’d covered it lately. As such, we here at team BAAPAS thought we’d go with a bit of a changeup and take on a stack of lesser known titles, along with some underappreciated books by the Majors. –Brendan

Also, sorry for the lateness. It’s totally my fault because I’m a lazy git (I’ve been catching up on the Harry Potter novels; don’t tell anybody, but Snape is a dick). I remember the days when I could blame this shit on my partner, but alas, the asshole is now me. –Adan

Criminal #6

Adan: When this series first started, I didn’t really like it. I lost faith in Ed Brubaker because I didn’t understand what he was doing. I was wrong. I was wrong not to like it and I was wrong not to trust Bru because he knew what he was doing. This time around, there is more trust, plus I’m not as dumb. The story in the first issue of the “Lawless” arc plays with time a little bit. We meet Tracy Lawless not at the beginning of his story, but sometime just after that, and he fills us in with flashbacks. The issue ended almost exactly where it started, but with a lot more information. You should grab the first trade too, not because you need it for this story or anything (the arcs seem to be only tangentially related and are short stories which can be read on their own), but because it’s pretty fantastic.

Brendan:I really dug this book from the start. I think the fact that it is such an unapologetic crime book that sells through Marvel, albeit the Icon imprint, is really cool. Icon is obviously Marvel’s gift to star creators, but they have all somehow been somehow supercharged books. This is as close as Marvel will get to doing 100 Bullets. Without the central conceit of 100 Bullets, though, Brubaker and Phillips seem intent on parading us around this one central underworld, and using that scenery as the book’s “theme.” I’m tempted to skip the monthlies on this book in favor of the traded editions but, like Casanova and Fell, the extra bonus material guarantees the price of admission.

Digital Webbing Presents #33

Brendan: There is an unspoken rule among independently published comics. The logic of the rule is given the fact that the two most successful comic publishers specialize in super hero action, and considering how badly the odds are stacked against any small publisher, you really shouldn’t make straight super hero comics. If you do, though, make sure you do them better than the big boys. See The Tick, Invincible, Astro City, and soon The Boys. The margin for error is slim.

I like what Digital Webbing does, and I was hoping I would be impressed by the more raw comic talent. I am a big believer that the best comic creators are those who have learned by making comics, as opposed to making a splash in another medium and then hopping over. I love the model that one pays his or her dues in a “minor league,” and then gets called up. I was on the lookout for greatness, but I was unimpressed. Like the great superhero books I listed, I expected this character and book to have some unique hook or angle. I’m still looking. I liked the costume… until I recognized the Miracle Man homage, maybe? The most interesting part of the book was the zipitone- style flashbacks, but even that disappointed. It wasn’t obvious enough, and didn’t serve the story as well as it did in books like Supreme or The Sentry. I thought that some of the hero poses struck throughout the story as high water marks. The heroic reminiscences fell flat and felt like too similar to and less uninspired than The Incredibles. I looked for meaning in this story, but found only- fight, wound licking, flashbacks of fights, and regret. Talk to you guys again in a few years. Good luck.

Adan: That’s kind of a harsh view of the comic, but Brendan’s right about doing something fantastic in order to get noticed if you’re gonna do superhero comics. Had this been a Marvel or DC comic, it would have been passable: one of those monthlies that would sell between 300,000 and 400,000 and then get cancelled twelve issues down the line. This is the thirty-third issue of Digital Webbing and I think part of its longevity comes from the fact that it’s not a Marvel or DC book and it’s an anthology. “The Fist of Justice” doesn’t appear in every issue and is therefore not solely responsible for the success nor failure of the book. However, I’m not reviewing any of the other stories that appear in the book (I don’t I could actually name any of them without taking a dip in the old back issue bins), and therefore “The Fist of Justice” remains a mere rehash of your standard super-hero tropes.

Final Girl #1

Brendan: What would happen if you read an entire comic… with no characters? How would you handle a story that went nowhere… and couldn’t be bothered to explain why?

If AP has their way, you will rush to apmanga.com and vote which characters will live… and who will die. Of course, your vote will be ultimately meaningless when they resurrect the character in twenty years, but a vote that counts for twenty years is a good deal. Literally, nothing happens within these twenty two pages. We are locked in a room of individuals as they are tortured. It isn’t nearly as entertaining as it sounds. There isn’t even character tension. The art is moody enough to sustain the horrific tone, but without any reason to give a shit about anything you won’t even notice. If you do pass on this book, here’s what you’ll be missing;

“Oh my God, did you see that!?”
“N-no! Not my-!”
“Aiyiiieee!”

Lather, rinse, repeat. Or don’t.

Adan: Yeah, what the fuck? At the end of the book, you get a bio on the four girls you’re supposed to be deciding on, right? Which one you want to live and all that, but I don’t think they actually appear in this first issue. There’s a lot of kids and some of them are girls, but they don’t look like the girls at the end. And the story is obtuse for no good reason. There’s some shadowy conspiracy in the past (we’re still selling war bonds) and then it flash forwards to these kids in a basement and two crazy monsters come through the wall, beating the shit out of each other. This book is stupid and I vote David Hutchinson not write or draw anymore comics.

General Jack Cosmo Presents #1

Adan: A primer of what to expect from General Jack Cosomo Productions in the near future, and I don’t think I care for any of it, excepting General Jack himself. All the art in here looks like it came from a bunch of Rob Liefeld’s students (again, excepting General Jack himself). The stories are just various genre tropes thrown together in mostly incongrous ways for seemingly no other reason than to be different, which is surely an admirable goal in an industry full of muscleheaded super-heroes and whiny autobiographies, but you have to follow through with good stories and artwork. Otherwise, you’re just another book.

But let’s talk about General Jack Cosmo: in this book, he’s mostly just used as a framing device, but said framing device has the best writing and the best art in the whole book. If it’s the same guys doing it, I’ll probably pick up General Jack Cosmo, but not any of the other books.

Brendan: This book really entertained me. Like I said about the Digital Webbing book, when attempting to do superhero, or really any type of genre work, it is vital to have a central hook to differentiate it from any peer. Astro City
stories are always about the city. Powers is a police procedural that uses the media to paint its background. And so on. What I liked about this anthology was that each story had a unique goal it was attempting. This was a sort of “try-out” book that was showcasing future projects, but even with only the farcical General Jack to link the stories I appreciated the effort in the work. Of course I didn’t feel like each of the four stories was a winner, but I did find the Gentleman Barbarian and American Eagle/ Golden Star stories concepts to be ideas I would follow for at least a short run of a series. The art was inconsistent, with some great moments but also other confusing layouts, but frame art, as well as that of the American Eagle story, were at least as good as most of comics’ bigger hitters. This wasn’t for everyone, but I will most assuredly check out the subsequent stories.

Gutsville #1

Brendan: I’ve said this before, but it is worth repeating. I think it is insane if, in a premier issue, the setup is delivered in a prose introduction. A book doesn’t need a picture to set the scene, and a song doesn’t begin with, “Okay, so this song is about peace and love and kicking my mom’s cat.” Well, good songs can start that way, but usually don’t.

The point is, this is a comic. It is a visual medium. It is one thing if you use copy to recap what has happened before within the series, and avoid unneeded exposition. If you are just starting your story, though, it is the story itself that tells me what I need to know.

This book wasn’t the worst offender of this crime, but I did feel as though I needed to read it after I realized how little I understood early on. It turns out that this Gutsville is basically a colony of Puritans that fled the country a hundred and fifty seven years ago but where whisked away to the land of the lost with only their God-fearing ways to protect them. It basically means they live in Salem, MA circa The Crucible but with demons to boot. Frazer Irving kills on this issue, delivering haunting scenes and memorable characters. The cast of this book feels memorable and unique, and this book definitely has the potential to become an ongoing. Be patient with the sometimes stilted language and soak in the pretty pictures and you will enjoy this one.

Adan: I think you need to read the opening spiel again because you have no idea what’s going on. And leave the opening spiel alone. When your subject matter is something so strange (like a colony of Puritans living inside the stomach of some large creature), you’re gonna need to explain some things to your readers. Movies do this all the time when they’re set in the future or some alternate world or whatever. Just a little exposition so your audience isn’t ridiculously lost. I don’t understand your problem with this technique.

Frazer Irving’s art continues to amaze me, but to be fair, he’s really just drawing Klarion the Witch Boy again. Crazy monsters and Puritanical tribes seem to be his forte. I will agree with Brendan that the dialect used is sometimes oft-putting and I have to reread some bubbles to figure out what people are saying. Overall, though, this is looking like a really interesting series that I’m going to keep reading.

The Homeless Channel GN

Brendan: I am a big fan of AiT/Planet Lar. I feel as though Larry Young has a distinct eye for what he wants comics to be, and he is good at making sure each comic he publishes has an individual purpose. I was confident going into this book.

I was 100% vindicated. This was a very good story about a cause. Writer/artist Matt Silady tiptoed the line of preachiness throughout, but remained aware of it and never came off oversimplified. The book felt very much in line with the early work of Brian Michael Bendis, both due to the barbed witty banter and the negative photo referenced artwork. The art was clearly done mostly through meticulous photo-ref, but was rendered with a consistency that assured a solid look to the book. The result felt somewhere in between Michael Lark and Tony Harris’ Ex Machina work, with a very clear line to Bendis’ own artwork. It utilized a good deal of innovative page layout work, but never at the cost of storytelling clarity.

The story itself is that of the uphill battle that is social service. Our world is built to keep the underprivileged that way, but the story also respects the truth enough to point out the pitfalls the underclass succumb to by their own will. As much as this is a story with far reaching implications, it is also the story of one workaholic and her struggle to care for herself. Honest, ambitious, and well paced, this story is the total package. A week after DC launched their MINX line, I found the perfect book to give an intelligent fifteen year old girl. This one would both give them something to identify with and challenge them as readers and compassionate people. Comics for everyone, what a concept.

Adan: I don’t know about giving this to fifteen-year-old anybodies, but I’m a bit of a Puritan so don’t mind me. This is a very well written piece about social service, but I’m not sure if I believe it. I usually read a ridiculous amount of books in which superpowered people fight each other in exotic locales, yet I’m having a hard time believing the premise of this book. A network devoted to the homeless would never get picked up, ever. But if you can swallow this particularly big fish, then the rest of it flows fine.

Though I really hate the art. I hate that kind of art. It reminds me of clip art on Windows machines. It’s just generic and stale and it kept taking me out of the story.

I also have a difficult time believing anybody actually cares about the homeless who isn’t out there actually doing something. Is this book considered ‘doing something?’ I don’t think so. I don’t know Matt Silady from Adam (except for his bio at the end which states he grew up in the ‘burbs and got a lot of higher education), but I hope he doesn’t think he’s done something with this book besides put out a nice piece of fiction. I really hate hypocrites.

Ninja Scroll #9

Brendan: I have a love/hate relationship with this book. Michael Chang Ting Yu is a perfect match for this anime classic spin off, with crisp line and clear action. The stories have been what they needed to be, pushing Jubei through interesting environments and into skirmishes. They always feel short, though, and this issue is the worst offender of all. A kid wants to be trained by our hero and pesters him until he gets his way. Then the issue is over. Spot the funny one liner about the other series with a lonely wolf with cub, but read this in the store. There’s nothing worth owning this time.

Adan: Yeah, holy crap was this short. I read it in like two minutes. What’s up with that? Let’s do some math, okay? This book is three bucks and Lone Wolf and Cub is ten. Ninja Scroll is about thirty pages long, probably less, and Lone Wolf is just under three hundred pages long. Scroll takes about two minutes to read, and Lone Wolf… well, that takes substantially longer. I think I know who wins. Sorry, Ninja Scroll but there is just as much of samurai glut as there is a super-hero glut and in this genre, DC is the independent publisher. If you don’t do something awesome with your samurai story, TokyoPop and Viz are going to wipe the floor with you everytime (yes, I know I used a Dark Horse manga to make my point, but Dark Horse has manga cred whereas DC does not).

Outer Orbit #4

Brendan: Another final issue that manages to satisfy, Orbit is slapstick space adventure. Annoying copilots, broadsword wielding space tough guys, and hot, badass, easy space vixens make for a cast worth taking note of, and what better way to unite them than an amulet or trinket that must be captured? Don’t answer, because the answer is nothing.

There are good jokes and over the top action, but it doesn’t feel quite like the total package. The dialogue induced audible laughter from me more than once, but by the halfway mark it felt as though it was really just there to clutter up the page. I was unable to follow the flow of the page at multiple points, each time a result of poorly placed balloons. It also felt seemed over colored, with backgrounds that bled into the action. This would have been a great independent book, but coming from the respected house of Dark Horse I felt like it was a bit of a disappointment. This was good, but greatness would have only been a little more work. Follow these creators, as they are getting better, and enjoy the galaxy ride.

Adan: Hollywood should make buddy movies like this all the time. Firstly, it’s in space, and comes with all the trappings thereof, so major points right there. Secondly, this is hilarious, which a lot of current buddy movies fail at so much of the time. Thirdly, the main characters are a small, blue, elfin thing who always loses his pants and a larger, gree, orcish guy who wears a chastity belt he made out of macaroni and Elmer’s glue, which is what Brendan must have been sniffing because this book is pretty damn perfect. Also, the nympho antagonist, she’s also a great character.

After all this praise, there is but one problem. This was originally supposed to be a twelve issue mini, but Dark Horse told them they’d only get four. While this is not apparent in this fourth issue, it was very obvious in the first two issues. Luckily, I’m not reviewing those, and this issue remains pretty damn perfect!

Spirit #6

Brendan: Darwyn Cooke has done wonders to this character. By staying true to Eisner’s original concept, and merely using the Spirit character to explore stories ABOUT real human things, this title manages to feel retro, modern, and most importantly, fun. Even the notorious character of Ebony is salvaged. The fables are deftly assembled, with this issue telling the story of a punk rocker’s descent into addiction and obsession. It would be easy to make this into an after-school special, but with a foundation of believable character development and a strong visual hook this story feels honest and fresh.

It is remarkable how consistent The Spirit has been. It has remained a gorgeous book, and each issue has improved on the last. The coloring this issue was standout. I couldn’t help but notice an eye shadow motif that seemed to underscore the outlandishness of the Spirit’s domino mask. Or maybe it was the blue Josie and the Pussycats that were outlandish. In any case, this is a great take on a classic character. Call it Ultimate. Or call it All Star. I’ll call it All Star.

He’s the Goddamn… oh I can’t even.

Adan: The one thing I look forward to in every Spirit issue is the title page. I look forward to seeing the art direction of that title page every single issue because, as you know, the title of the book is usually worked into the actual art in some form or another (and was done so by Will Eisner as well). They didn’t do it this issue, but the title page is nonetheless fantastic. It has this opening reel quality, or maybe the look of art on a dvd, but it’s awesome. The story of this issue, on the other hand, was a little weak. Brendan says this book is about real human things, but no one I know gets a contact high from a blue meteor and rain water. I understand the parallel we’re making here, but it’s still a little outlandish. Don’t let that put you off, though, because, yes, this was a little disappointing for The Spirit, but it’s still loads better than most anything else.

Street Fighter Alpha V1

Brendan: Okay, I can come clean; I really don’t read manga. Though I’ve read an American Tokyopop book here and there, I’ve looked at maybe one or two of those crazy backwards digests. Never horribly disappointed, I just don’t find myself seeking out more. This was a different experience. I’m no Street Fighter expert. Sure, I’ve logged an hour or fifty on the old Genesis Street Fighter 2 game. And sure, I’m familiar with the Marvel Versus series, for obvious reasons. But I’m not, strictly speaking, a gamer. You know who you are.

This is a long way of saying I’m not good at reading backwards. It is troublesome for me, much like playing Guitar Hero on lefty. Simply a pain in my ass.

This was a good read. I’ve been a big fan of Udon’s house style since their work on Deadpool and Agent X. They captured the energy and power of that book as well as anyone since the then unknown Ed McGuiness launched the title. However, on this book it seemed clear that the style works far better in conjunction to higher production values. When reading through the relatively cheap stock digest pages I longed for glossy paper and vibrant coloring I’m accustomed to. Despite this, and my dyslexic reading quibble, I was somehow sucked in. The plot gathered and identified combatants as well as any forced video game narrative while mixing in enough bouts to distract from the implausibility of it all. With dark warriors, friends turned against one another, and an unexpected visit to beautiful Key West, Alpha delivers nothing if not popcorn brand fun.

It may be a format issue, but I was disappointed in the abrupt way this installment ended. I understand that often these series are designed to last anywhere from nine to infinite volumes, but that is no excuse for an incomplete story. This chapter could have had a clearer theme driving the action, if only to contrast with other themes in subsequent chapters. Instead, we get a sequence of events that does little to satisfy either the reader or the hero’s needs. With Udon’s track record for late and discontinued series, I’m concerned I’ll never see this story continue. I liked the story for what it was, but I won’t be surprised if I’ve lost interest by the next volume.

Adan: I’ve never played the Alpha brand of Street Fighter games, so most of these characters were totally unknown to me (for example, what the hell is a Birdie and why is it palling around with Ryu?) but whatever, Chun Li is still here and she still kicks ass. The story revolves around Ryu’s Dark Hadou (*snicker*) and his journey to control it. As far as video game comics go, the Street Fighter stuff has always been serviceable. Never awesome, but never awful either. And the Coach is right about the art, or he would be if the art was actually by the Udon guys. The book is imported from Japan like most other manga, and like most other manga, it’s probably way ahead over there so you don’t have to worry about this not getting put out (unless Udon goes under, but I’m sure someone else would pick up the license).

Walk In #6

Brendan: This issue was… heady. I wouldn’t have guessed by the title, but apparently “Walk In” is a story about crazy dimension hopping brain switchers and talking animals. Color me surprised, (that’s somewhere near orange). In fairness, this was the last chapter in a six issue story about all sorts of lunacy, and I didn’t get lost. It didn’t seem like it was weighed down with exposition, either. I was particularly a fan of Jeff Parker’s visual storytelling, although it felt like the art was drawn on a smaller scale and blown up to fit comic page size. But I refuse to complain too much, if only because I reserve the right to enjoy any book that features a talking bear who can fire a rifle from on top of a ball. Those books are always great.

Adan: There was surprisingly little confusion from the final issue of a six issue arc. The first two pages were a fantastic recap that made complete sense, which is also surprising because this is a book that has a very high chance of not making any sense whatsoever. There is a talking bear, a talking squirrel, multiple dimensions, brain hopping, and octopus circuits. It’s pretty friggin’ weird, but it’s also pretty awesome. Pick up the trade when it comes out so that way you’ll get the whole crazy-ass story.

Spoilers ahoy, kids! Tread carefully lest these stories be spoiled for ye: All- Star Batman, Fallen Son, Justice League, and Ultimates. The others are probably safe, but I warn ye just the same. Arrr…– Pirate Adan

All-Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder #5

Adan: Well, well, well, the prodigal son does, in fact, return on ocassion, I see. You know your brother was here a few weeks back? He brought me a Zibarro, which was succulent. What did you bring me? Oh, more potty mouth. Well, bully for you.

Now that I’ve finished my extended analogy, let me say that when I saw Wonder Woman call some passing man a “Sperm Bank” on the very first page, I knew I was in for more of the industry’s most non-intenionally funniest book. Wonder Woman is a man-hating Feminazi, while the usually fearless Hal Jordan seems quite afraid of the Amazon, as evidenced by his immediate retrieval of her coat when she ordered him to get it. Plastic Man is still crazier than a loon, and Superman is a child who throws temper tantrums. And of course, the Goddamn Batman is a fucking psychopath. Oh, and Alfred wears diapers. This book is hilarious. I’m almost tempted to buy it on hilarity alone, but then DC would never learn anything. Look, go read Batman #665 instead, also out this week. You won’t laugh as hard, but you also won’t feel bad about comics in general afterwards, either.

Brendan: All I ever hear about is how much this book sucks. Who are all you people? Do you not want Wonder Woman to be the sexiest Amazon bitch that ever walked man’s world? Do you not shudder when you see her knee-high boots walk in and totally pwn the JLA? Should Batman be anything less than uber-vigilant until his city is clean? Yes, he is the Goddamn Batman, and that is a little different, but we are starting to see why. Here, Wonder Woman is a real Amazon, and the “greatest” hero is the weak willed Superman that is destined to become a government lapdog. I particularly like how Clark hangs his head the entire time until he and WW settle their… tension. Cops are evil, and the world is bleak. So Goddammit, someone needs to be willing to do whatever it takes. This is the Darkest Knight, he wouldn’t choose to be if the world didn’t demand it.

Also, I’m really enjoying this series just for the fact that Frank Miller and Jim Lee are just being All Stars. This story couldn’t be any more grit and grime if it took place in the sewer. Jim Lee, despite the delays, does a great job striking some badass Bat-poses, and solidifies his status as the premier Bat-artist of his generation. Say what you will, but when this is all said and done I will be reading this story for many years, and Hush will gather dust. Delays notwithstanding, we have yet to really reach the culmination of this first arc, and our second lead (that boyish wonder) has yet to appear. Can’t wait to see that team up. Don’t worry, Bruce, I love you being the Goddamn Batman, too.

Adan: You are one strange duck, Coach. First Civil War. now this? Careful, you might start liking Jeph Loeb too.

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America – Captain America

Adan: Oh for the love of… Listen, you hack. When you are writing a series about the stages of grief, I don’t need you telling me which stage we’re dealing with every fucking chance you get! You told me with your Goddamn press releases, you tell on the title page of every issue (this one was titled “Bargaining”), and you tell me at the end of every issue when you have some character repeat the fucking word like I’m some kind of retarded hillbilly who thinks my sister is a perfectly fine choice for a mate and can’t figure out which stage of grief I’m looking at! Okay, that’s it! Jeph Loeb, you are not allowed to write any more comic books. Television, movies… fine, you keep doing that. But no more comics,you hear me? No. More. Comics. You suck at it. This wasn’t always the case, but it is now. I’m gonna let you finish this series and Wolverine, but then you’re done.

Brendan: Far be it from me to excuse the latest in Jeph Loeb hackery, (Loeb will soon be listed in Rogets as a synonym), but I didn’t hate this. Unlike previous issues, I thought the emotional range displayed by Hawkeye, Iron Man, and a few Younger Avengers rang true. I thought the interactions between Br’r and Sst’r Hawkeye underscored their respective personalities well, and solidified her as the right archer for today. I was also surprised by how “right” it felt for Clint to consider Tony’s offer. The relationship between him and Cap was always an interesting one, a strained older and younger brother one-sided rivalry, and I thought this story did well to pay homage to their history. I can totally empathize with Clint’s decision at the story’s end, but I will give due credit to Loeb for making me wonder if it was the right one. He restrained himself, and only said “bargain,” once!

Of course, Romita Jr., Janson, and Hollowell all deliver the goods. Duh.

But be afraid! Loeb will be taking the reigns on the Ultimates follow up! Only Joe Madureira’s soon to be record setting seven year delays will save us from the latest onslaught! Oh no! And Onslaught! Predictions for an Ultimate Onslaught! Run for the hills!

Adan: Called it!

Justice League of America #9

Brendan: For me, this series only gets better and better. I disagree strongly with the way the relaunch was handled, if only because a new numbering is not the time for the most nerdy, insular, self-referential and inaccessible story imaginable. But what can I say? I am a nerd, I already have my access, and I like old school references. Meltzer is truly amazing with his character work, with history and sexual dynamics that make the series seem adult if only for the interaction. Much like his work on Identity Crisis, Metlzer’s understanding of the minutia of the DCU richens the voices of his players. It was a slow start, but this adventure has us finally reaping the benefits of the meticulous preparation.

The Lightning Saga thickens, with the villains revealed. Eagle eyed readers take note- so Infinite was the middle Crisis? Hmm.

I again have the same issue with Ed Benes’ art. I loved his Superman work, but his JLA has been a mixed bag of only halfway decent nuts. While he has done great to establish the cast and sell the story, the inking has been muddled and inconsistent. Some panels have thick character outlines that look like they were done with a Sharpie, while others feel thin and don’t establish boundaries. It just doesn’t feel right, and despite liking his work, I feel like as an artist he is taking steps backwards.

Adan: I disagree with the Coach. As long-time readers know, I actually hated the first story-arc of Justice League of America. Hated it like I hate Commies. It was stupid, clunky, and very badly written. However, with Geoff Johns’ help, Meltzer seems to have regained the writing chops he had when he wrote “Archer’s Quest.” His characterization is pretty on the money, with few nits to pick. I also disagree with the Benes comments. I think his art is really rather good, especially the quiet scenes. I enjoy his expressions quite a bit (he’s no Kevin Maguire, but c’mon, nobody is).

And frankly, any story with the Legion of Super-Heroes (especially the old-school Legion) is going to win points with me just by being. Making it a story about Lightning Lad’s resurrection (which has been done, I believe, in every incarnation of the future heroes existence in one form or another, excepting of course the latest iteration) is just making me salivate for more. Kudos, Meltzer and Benes, for a job well done. Now, don’t fuck it up.

Local #9

Brendan: This book is consistently great, but this was my first real “awwww” issue. Learning more about Megan’s past goes far in explaining not only who she is, but the purpose of this country-spanning storyline. Brian (who I don’t think is a Communist, but wouldn’t hate him if he were) Wood gives the perfect past to her, and breaks her down right in front of us. Ryan Kelly deserves any gig in comics he wants, and his emotional range is stunning. I don’t even want to talk about the story, because it is such an easy journey to identify with.

I know Mother’s Day was just a few days ago, but if this story doesn’t make you want to call your Mommy you have no soul.

Adan: Ixnay on the Ommunistcay alktay. It’llay onlyay akemay meay aysay upidstay ingsthay.

I was planning to read this series in trade like I had with Demo (which is how I usually enjoy my B-Wood, actually), but Laura before and Brendan now keep wanting to review it. And I can see why. This book is really fantastic: B-Wood’s writing is superb, as usual, and Ryan Kelly is the guy you want drawing every soul-searching bio comic in the world, but yeah, he should be given any book he wants.

Did you call your mommy, B?

The Plain Janes GN

Adan: Comics for girls, huh? I’m in.

The unfortunately named Minx line has a winner on its hands the first time at bat. The Plain Janes is a great YA book, full of hope in the face of hopelessness. A terrorist attack occurs in the main character’s previous home city, and her mom totally freaks out about it. They move to the suburbs and Jane has to find new friends and try to keep herself sane.

This is really, really good, and it’s good for your pre-teenage girls, or teenage boys even (since girls mature faster than boys). I’m always on the lookout for good comics for kids and if the Minx line keeps up this level of quality, then we’re going to get along just fine.

Brendan: Psh, comics for girls! But those are for girls!

The Plain Janes is a pretty strong lead in DC’s new Minx line. It is the story of a city girl forced into the suburbs after a September 11th type incident. In an attempt to deal with her well earned angst, she gathers up a crew of outcasts, coincidentally named “Jane,” and uses art to inform and educate the townspeople. It reads a bit like Mean Girls, without the hotness but with more of a point.

I tried to give this book every chance I could. I know as a twenty-something male who reads tons of mainstream comics, I am not the key demographic for this line. That said, I was interested in this book, but hardly impressed. The visuals were passable, with clear enough storytelling, but not particularly compelling. The story lacked any high stakes drama. I don’t mean to say that I need violence to progress a plot, but I need something a little more threatening than “The town is going to arrest us for expressing ourselves!”

This Minx line should do some interesting things. I’m particularly looking forward to Josh Howard on Clubbing, and the preview for Re-Gifters looks cool. I just hope the next books have something more to say than “Boys suck!” This wasn’t a failed attempt by any means, but it didn’t feel like a universal story either. Oh well, I guess I’ll just go back to more books more up my alley, like guys in spandex clocking the shit out of each other. Or our next subject…

Adan: “Boys suck?” That’s all you got out of this? I suggest you read it again. And pay attention this time.

Satan’s Sodomy Baby #1

Brendan: That’s it?! That’s the cause of all this hubbub and rhubarb? The censors are all in a huff just because Satan ass rapes a hillbilly and the result is a cute lil’ scamp demon with a mega doom cock? America, your Puritan heritage disappoints me.

This was exactly as much fun as it needed to be. Powell leaves no one unscathed in this issue, and states it pretty explicitly on the front cover. Like the Simpsons or South Park, he proves that any sort of mockery is okay, so long as it is equal across the board. Satan’s Baby, hurry down the chimney tonight…so I can molest you.

If that doesn’t convince you to pick this one up, try this cryptic line from the book.

“Hey, everybody, Jimmy likes vaginas!”

Adan: At first, I was certain All-Star Batman would be the funniest book out this week, but Eric Powell makes it an honest-to-God race! Plus, he’s being delibirarely funny, something Frank Miller cannot say. I can’t even begin to tell you how funny this book is without ruining the jokes, so I’m not. Just pick it up. The last panel alone is worth the price of admission. Also, take look-see at the fan mail at the end of the book. Most of it is just badmouthing Margaret Snodgrass, but there are some real gems in there.

Ultimates 2 #13

Adan: As a friend of mine recently said, there is a difference between delaying long enough to let one’s anticipation reach a fever pitch, and delaying too long so that one simply forgets what one was waiting for in the first place. So, was it worth the wait? Well, maybe. Hitch’s art is still fantastic (though, frankly, I’d rather a different artist and nine months ago, but whatever). His eight-page spread (take that, Batcave!) depicting the Ultimates battle against the evil hordes of Norse myth is really quite breathtaking, especially the Fenriswolf in the background (that is one seriously giant wolf). Can you count the speeding Pietros?

I also remember why I thought Millar was such a fantastic writer (oh Civil War, how I wish you’d never been conceived), but I had to read the previous issues again because I couldn’t remember what had transpired before. When the Black Widow showed up again alive, I was seriously confused because I remembered Tony shooting her in the head (it turns out she shot Jarvis in the head, and Tony used nanobots to subdue her). Of course, my biggest beef with the issue was the revelation that Thor is, in fact, a god amongst men. One of my favorite things about this series was the “Is he or isn’t he?” issue regarding Thor’s godhood and I would have preferred if it had been kept vague, or if an answer needed to be given, that he was nuts (to keep the book grounded in the reality where it thrives best). Ironically, only the most deluded amongst us, the readers, could continue believing that Thor might not be a god after the mini-Ragnarok Loki unleashed (did you see the Rainbow Bridge?)

Also of interest, while Hank Pym was arrested and imprisoned in the Triskelion for his involvement with the Liberators, the question of Bruce Banner’s legal status was never brought up. The last time he is seen, Betty is draping him with a blanket after he’s de-Hulked himself immediately after the battle. Will he be arrested again for his escape from the carrier group where his death sentence was supposed to have been carried out? Or does he get a Presidential Pardon for his actions during the Invasion? Or is this a question Millar deliberately left open so that whoever the next writer is (’cause it better not be Jeph Loeb) can answer it in Ultimates 3 (whenever that comes out).

Was it worth the wait? Goddamn it, I wish I could say no and teach these jerks a lesson, but alas…

Brendan: I don’t know what could be worth this absurd wait, but this was a good comic book. It’s great to see Captain America back in action. I didn’t mind the Thor reveal, probably because it played along with my suspicions. The ambiguity was fun, but Thor as the American Jesus is also pretty cool. Also, it is worth noting that the ultimate chapter of this epic story is the farthest removed the “realism” the book was known for. It is as if Millar and Hitch were saying that realistic superheroes are cool, but not as cool as their far out counterparts. While I dug the insane eight page gatefold, I don’t know if it was worth the extra delay, nor am I sure that it really did anything to serve the narrative. I also thought that it was a great touch to see Thor using his hammer’s claw for something, especially considering the consistency of internal logic in his designs. Nice to see it finally pay off.

So the Ultimate status quo is shook, and we are given a good idea of where the follow ups will go. While that is interesting enough, the final scenes of each main character is well composed and shows the arc of each lead. In the end, we finish where we began. Who would have thought we’d get such a cute ending?

Uncanny X-men #486

Brendan: “The Rise and Fall of the Shi’ar Empire.” It was a pretty damn ambitious title. It would take a lot to live up to the self imposed hype. This twelve part epic, (which shipped on time!) could have been billed as its own event. I am not usually a fan of space opera, nor was I a big fan of any of the X-Men involved, but this story was pretty cool. It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly what it is that clicked for me in this series, but it had the ingredients it needed for me to maintain interest in an X-Men story. It had some cool allegory, some great visuals, and really established Vulcan, Darwin, and Warpath as intriguing, sustainable characters. I will say that I feel like Warpath’s voice has a lot in common with Brubaker’s Winter Soldier, but maybe I’m just responding to the domino mask. I wasn’t blown away by this long arc, but I liked it enough to keep reading (an accomplishment for most X-titles), and I will be interested in seeing how they follow up on the cliffhangers.

Adan: This is the best of the three main X-books. There is actually a story here instead of just decent snippets of dialogue (like in Astonishing) and this book doesn’t suck (like Adjectiveless). While the Shi’ar Empire neither technically rose nor fell, it is nonetheless in the middle of a civil war (that actually means something) with Vulcan and Deathbird on one side, and Lilandra and the new Starjammers on the other (yeah, I said new). There isn’t really an ending here as the space opera will continue down the line, but at least some of the X-men are back on Earth, so that will continue as well. And Darwin is still the best new super-hero character that’s been introduced in a while.

X-men: First Class Special

Adan: I did not expect to like this at all. I rather disliked the mini-series (though I confess I only read the first two issues), so I assumed there would only be more of the same in this book. How wrong I was. This is a delightful collection of shorts featuring the artistic stylings of Kevin Nowlan, Mike Allred, Paul Smith, and the lovely Colleen Coover. These shorts feature a mutant masquerading as a poltergeist, a beat poet with a dangerous secret (isn’t that all of them?), and a girl/dragon pairing which predates Kitty and Lockheed, as well three even shorter shorts which are just cute and funny (which is Colleen Coover’s specialty). This book is light and fluffy, but very, very fun and well worth your $3.99 for the art alone, but of course, Jeff Parker, who handles all of the writing chores, is no slouch. In fact, I will give the mini-series a second chance when in comes out in trade and review it here so you will all know what if I’ve been convinced.

Brendan: This was fun, sort of like X-Men meets Archie . There isn’t really even much to say about it, as it accomplishes its goals of being fun, accessible little ventures into the Days of X-Men Past. You couldn’t ask for a more talented art team, either. Earlier I was saying how Uncanny was one of the only X-titles I was checking out, but I’m with Adan and I will be following up with this series.

You win this round, Jeff Parker!

The Astounding Wolf-Man!

Brendan: Finally, a new chance to watch Robert Kirkman do what he does best: creator owned work. This new book seems to marry the two genres Kirkman does best, horror and superheroes. While his work for Marvel has been a mixed bag, his Invincible and Walking Dead series have stayed true to their initial concepts and are the obvious cornerstones to his career. Launching a new high profile series on Free Comic Book Day is a brilliant gamble, but does put a good deal of pressure on that issue to perform.

I wasn’t wowed. I loved the choice of Jason Howard, with his clean and simple line work, on art. I love the daring of risking the losses one takes on FCBD to kick-start a title. I was pumped for this book, but it didn’t deliver. We meet the family Hampton right after father Gary has been mauled by a “bear.” While this is a great moment to open on, showing exactly what the series will be about, the characters themselves all feel bland and unremarkable. This continues into the hospital scene, (perhaps a wink at the first issue of Walking Dead), and the lunar lunacy begins. The stakes just don’t feel very high, the characters lack charm, flavor, or voice, and the story feels pretty much like any werewolfism story. Howard’s action sequences do have a kinetic energy that gives the book a unique feel, but it needs more. Given Kirkman’s reputation and history of well developed characters, and a small saving grace at the book’s end, I’ll check out issue 2 next month, but I’d better be astounded…

Adan: It is not a secret that I rather dislike Walking Dead and much, much prefer Invincible (as well as Kirkman’s Marvel Team-Up before it was prematurely cancelled), so I know which direction I’d rather this book take, and it seems to be going that way. A superhero werewolf sounds awesome and I know Kirkman can write superheroes. Jason Howard’s art is great and was the one of the few redeeming qualities of The Pact mini. The FCBD premiere was a gamble, but I see it paying off pretty well. The Coach is just mad ’cause Walking Dead sucks and he can’t bear to admit it.

Countdown #51

Brendan: Aww man. DC couldn’t have had any more momentum. They spun the successful Infinite Crisis into the star performer 52, and now had the so called machine in place to make a weekly book run. 52 #52 had a huge reveal, and the multiverse was the jumping on point for the new book. Now there’s a new cast of characters you don’t yet care about, only without the curiosity of a year ago. The many monitors just have yet to interest me, although a possible renegade may change my mind. Every time I see Duela Dent I think of what a wasted character she is, and every time I see the Red Hood I think of how “Hush” should have ended. And I somehow feel they are both shoved down my throat.

We meet the cast in no particular order. In fact, there seems to be no logic at all. Darkseid talks like Darkseid, and apparently has some sort of elaborate plan. None of it does it for me. I like the art of Jesus Saiz, and had hope for Dini after his great Detective Comics and television work, but I really don’t feel any compulsion to follow this story further. It all underscores how difficult 52 really was, and how much talent it took to make it worthwhile. I’m sure it will get more interesting at some point later on, but I feel totally free to let others take the ride and tell me about it. And I’m a DC fan.

I will say this, if an entire hook of your series is that the Big Three will appear in the series, and if they are front and center of the cover, they should at least cameo in the book. In fact, only one character visible on the cover, Red Hood, is even in this comic. This is an old problem, but with a cast this big it seems like an egregious error. This book just lacked a central pathos, and on top of that it wasn’t even an interesting series of events.

Countdown! Where anything can happen! Even the Joker’s Daughter could die!

Adan: Firstly, three chracters visible on the cover are in this comic: Red Hood, Mary Marvel, and Pied Piper. Secondly, this book will be fifty-two issues long, so there is plenty of time for everybody to show up in this book. Thirdly, the “entire hook” of this book is not that the Big Three will appear in it, but that it will be the “spine of the DCU with every major event and nearly every character spinning in and out of the story.” This issue was set up, pure and simple. It wasn’t going to give you everything in the first issue, but it did give you some intro material. And while the Joker’s Daughter was the rumored “big death” even though she was only a C-list character at most, that’s not the important part. The important part was the manner of and the information around her death. In fact, the only thing you should be complaning about is why the Red Hood was talking to cops like they were fucking friends and the Red Hood hadn’t terrorized Gotham and Star City, and hadn’t run drugs and guns all over the Eastern seaboard. That’s what you should be complaining about. Patience, Grasshopper. All will be revealed in time.

Killer #4

Adan: Fuck, this is really, really good, and I wish I hadn’t started on the fourth issue. Who knew the French could make some damn fine comics?

The main character is as hard-boiled as Philip Marlowe and twice as philosophical, but he’s never obnoxious about it. The writer, who’s name is simply Matz, has a very good handle on how to make people care about this amoral tale of an amoral man. He’s a contract killer, but he’s still just this guy with problems and memories and questions, and everybody is that kind of guy. I think it also helped immensely that Matz translated his own work from French to English. The artist Luc Jacamon has this art style that’s kind of a mix between watercolors and traditional pencils, although, now that I think about it, that’s only traditional in the US. I have no fucking idea what’s traditional in France as far as drawing comics goes. Perhaps this is the norm in France and most US artists just suck. Thank you, Rob Leifelds of the American comic book industry, you’ve made me compliment the French.

Regardless, now, I have to go find the first three issues and hope they don’t cost me my first born.

Brendan: This comic is what people should see when they think comics are a limited medium. The singular voice of this book goes so far to stress the sheer paranoia of it all. The complexities of a man who kills for a living raise great questions, like is the Killer the most inhuman being there ever was, or is he imminently human in the most sterile and atrocious environment our world fosters? These are the pseudo-intellectual questions foreign comics will challenge us to ask.

The actions the unnamed killer takes work so well in contrast with his tortured monologue. We hear so little outside of the bubble in his head that we can’t help but feel the paranoia ourselves. The relationships he develops in this issue, and the consequences, perfectly illustrate how detached a murderer could become. Seriously, this is great comics.

I do wonder what takes so damn long, though. This book is a repackaged and translated version of a previously published French book, so why the delayed schedule? No new issue until August? Seriously, that sucks.

Marvel Zombies: Dead Days

Brendan: The most hyped Marvel mini (out of continuity) of all time pays homage to the best selling Marvel comic of all time with a sweet double gatefold wink to Jim Lee’s X-Men #1 cover. It goes uphill from there.

I will be the first to admit, I was loathe to embrace this zombie story. From the cash in feeling after the Ultimate FF storyline, the ludicrous number of printings on each issue, and the subsequent unavailability of the hardcover (Sorry guys! You can’t read the story because Marvel is running the book out of print every two months to put out a new and inferior cover), it just all rubbed me the wrong why. But the zombies, they won’t let me go. I loved the mini-series itself, and I am even begrudgingly loving the Army of Darkness crossover.

This was great. It really delivered. Sean Phillips just gets better and better with each assignment and even page as he hones his distinctive visual voice. The opening scene, which was made public months ago, serves as the perfect lead in to this story about the end of the Marvel Universe. Spider-man, the paradigm for the Marvel hero (and don’t forget it, you Spidey 3 haters!), shows that there is no escape this time, as the ultimate hero munches on the Romita-esque MJ. And that’s just the start.

The success of Kirkman in this, and the previous Zombies mini, isn’t just the fact that he tells a horror story. The reason it rings so true to fans is how convincingly he uses the voices amidst the Merry Marvel Manslaughter. It isn’t just that guys who look like Spider-man and Captain America succumb to this virus, it’s that they sound like them too. It doesn’t hurt that the cataclysm seems to occur at a mythical 90s era in Marvel continuity, with a tiara wearing Luke Cage, Darkhawk, Scarlet Spider, and War Machine, a favorite time for me. Of course, I must ask where is Thunderstrike?! Doesn’t anyone remember Thunderstrike!? Dammit!

Prequels are hard. Everyone knows the ending, but they still raise their expectations. This one delivers with great characterization, natural setup to the later series, and even a nice cyclical reveal on humanity’s last stand. I won’t condone the way Marvel has handled the success of this series, (but the Marvel zombies that buy all things Marvel Zombie is sort of ironic), but I will heartily recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t not like eating dead people or alive ones or what have you.

Adan: What started as a simple twist on a well-known phrase has grown into, seemingly, it’s own corporate empire. Their first appearance in the Ultimate-verse was surprising and unexpectd, their foray into their own mini-series was fun and actually pretty cool, and their Army of Darkness crossover is better than I originally thought, but this one-shot (which seems to actually spin out of the Army of Darkness crossover; a sixth part to this five-part mini, if you will) is probably the best thing so far (although Hudlin’s Black Panther will be visiting the Zombie-verse soon; will they find Ultimate Doctor Doom trapped within?) As the Coach says, everybody acts like they’re supposed to, even after they’ve been infected. The real gem is what the remaining survivors do once they realize most of the world is screwed (although I question their tactics and their aims). Even if you’ve never read a Marvel Zombies anything (but we all know you have), you should really check this out.

Mystery in Space #8

Adan: I was expecting a pretty big bang to end this book, but I got about three instead. Comet and the ELC tussle for control of Hardcore Station as the Werid switches sides more often than Elizabeth Taylor’s husbands. This entire series was a fun read since I enjoy Dcs cosmic characters, but it wasn’t fantastic or anything. There are still some unanswered questions here, but Jim Starlin and Ron Lim gave a pretty good last issue nonetheless. Comet is defintiely a lot more hardcore than those earthbound heroes, I can tell you that for sure.

Brendan: Did you notice my many Scarlet Spider references earlier? That’s right, I was prepping for the all-clone episode of BAAPPAS. Okay, well most of the clones are wiped out pretty quickly in this latest adventure of Capta… no wait, just Comet. But at least he’s a clone!

This wrap up of the space mysteries is a satisfying ending. This series did well to reinvent Comet, a throwaway character, into an intriguing hero. He has a cool costume, cool powers, a cool talking dog, and an attitude! Everything today is 90s fare! The Weird isn’t a character that I was really drawn to, but his story was interwoven with the lead, and it worked. I thought the result of using both Jim Starlin and Ron Lim throughout was a bit distracting, as Starlin’s work was more rounded than the angular look Lim continued from Shane Davis’ tone, and the outcome was uneven. Despite having both had long careers, Starlin’s penciling feels like a throwback where Lim seems to have reinvented himself.

But Starlin’s story holds up, with Comet and the gang feeling like faces we could see again soon. And is that Orion on the last page…?

Nova #2

Brendan: This was a satisfying story. I’ve always enjoyed Richard Rider, I’m pretty sure I was a big fan of his mullet and leather jacket faze. That was a great age of comics. In any case Nova has always been a classic character in Marvel’s Peter Parker mold, with a bonus cool bucket helmet. My interest never sustained, and while I sort of dug the New Warriors, unless there was a Scarlet Spider appearance, I would likely skip it. Recently, I didn’t really pay attention to Annihilation, as it just seemed like too big a story at a time where I already was already invested in too many big stories. I was happy to see a new Nova story, and a great costume, in the aftermath.

It was a remarkably consistent comic. I usually loathe the work of writing teams, as they often don’t read with clarity, but team LAbnetting deliver a solid story of a war hero returning to a world gone mad. This issue, which follows Nova as he becomes reacquainted with the corners of his life, highlights what an interesting place Civil War left the Marvel Universe. Okay sure, maybe the stakes were higher in scale in the galaxy-spawning Annihilation series, but Civil War obviously matters more. The pace worked remarkably, with the Rider parents’ hate is still shocking after all this time. We get the obligatory Tony Stark sequence, (look at the book INITIATE kids!), and the obligatory Justice pow-wow. It’s just a good comic story.

The art team delivers, as well. Of course, the ace of the team is cover artist Adi Granov, who establishes a cutting edge sci-fi feel on first sight. The Iron Man on the cover is a great reminder that he designed the costumes for the upcoming movie! Sean Chen’s pencils sell the story well, particularly on the facial expressions. Scott Hanna’s inks also shine, making this a winner as a whole.

Adan: My, you’re quite verbose today. But let’s get one thing straight: Civil War was a drop in the prverbial bucket compared to the torrential rain that was Annihilation. As Richard Rider himself says: “Galactic culture nearly collapsed. Billions died. The Skrull Empire’s gone. Xandar too, along with huge chunks of the Kree territories. Quasar died in front of my eyes. Even Thanos was killed… I sent a warning to Earth.” Iron Man’s response? “We were a little busy.” Are you fucking joking? This is why the rest of the world hates the US (in Marvel comics anyway; real life has its own sets of problems). The US thinks all its problems are monumentally more important than anything else that is going on in the world, or even the universe. Billions died in an intergalactic war against denizens of the Negative Zone and you didn’t notice because you were too busy imprisoning super heroes in a prison you built in Annihilus’ back yard!? Way to keep your eye on the ball, Tony. What kind of crap Futurist doesn’t take into account external variables?

But leaving all that aside, this is the second time we’ve reviewed Nova in as many months, and that’s because it’s really friggin’ good and everybody should be reading it. Drop all things Wolverine (since both of his series blow anyway) to save some money for DnA’s excellent series (their preferred nomenclature). Nova will soon be going back into space for another Annihilation mini-event, and you’ll be super sorry if you miss these issues and Conquest rocks half as much as the original series did.

Punisher War Journal #7

Adan: Well, this sucked. Ridiculous costume aside (and boy was it ridiculous), the whole thing felt like a somewhat bloody after-school special about immigration and hate groups. I’m sorry Fraction, but you lost me at “35.7 million immigrants in 2004.” It’s not that I don’t care, because I do; it’s that I’m not going to learn about this stuff in the same place that features a character called the Hate-Monger. I’m just not. Call me when you start up the second Casanova album.

Brendan: The thing I love about this iteration of Frank Castle is what I loved most about Ennis and Dillon’s first “Welcome Back, Frank” storyline: the pure hilarity of Punisher’s drive. The fact that he is so fucking nuts and so totally fine with it is the primary reason he’s such an overwhelming presence.

And that is a great thing about this book. Like issue four, where we pay so much attention to the legend of the Punisher that we fail to recognize him for the better part of the issue, or issue five where we become so involved with a bystander of Castle’s crusade, the supporting cast of this book continues to elevate the image of the Punisher. We are constantly reminded what a force of nature this man is. His dialogue even sounds like nature might sound, brutal and self evident. The story’s antagonist, an “All-New, All-Racist Hatemonger,” even looks like a dark reflection of Frank, as if to illustrate how that same heroic drive can be twisted if misled.

As if it were icing on the cake, perhaps in order to justify the cover banner, Frank gets “Initiated.” You’ll have to see it to believe it. Although, I do feel slighted since it reminds me of a joke I made not but moments ago. Fraction. Olivetti. Castle. Crazy rip off Captain America costumes. War Journal Eight. If you skip it, he’ll find you.

Secret History #2

Brendan: Archaia hits another home run with The Secret History. I’ve loathed the work of Igor Kordey before, his X-Men work left me cold, but he really nails this book. The story revolves around four siblings and their powerful and ancient runes, but spans the entire arc of human history. While the art is crisp and conveys the story effectively, the complex plot itself can be a bit hard to follow and takes the reader out of the experience. A lot happens in these pages, and getting lost is an easy way to stop caring. This book will be a great read for each of the ten issues, but once it is finished and collected it will truly stand out as a masterpiece.

Adan: This is a very interesting book. Four siblings who affect the entire history of humanity? I read a lot of myths and legends and try to find the similarities and connections between all of them. Jean-Pierre Pecau seems to be doing the same thing, but he’s intertwining history as well in a fictionalized account. Like I said, it’s a very interesting book, but McGuirk is right: we’re going to have to wait until it’s collected. It’s too much tt remember month to month. If I had the whole thing in front of me, I wouldn’t have to remember what happened last month. It’s a great book, but I’ll be waiting for the trade before I read any more (and if you want to see more great Igor Kordey art, pick up Smoke from IDW).

Extra! Extra!

Brendan: Tales of The Unexpected finishes on a high note. Eric Battle did a great job giving the Spectre-focused miniseries a great horrific tone, but the real gem of this book has been Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang’s Dr. 13 backups. Chiang’s solid line weight and stark posing reminds me of Mike Allred at his best, and Azzarello delivers a story with Animal Man-like tripped out meta adventure. Oh, so THAT is what happens when nerds rule the Earth. Friggin’ awesome.

Adan: I call shenanigans, Brendan! That Spectre was crap and you know it. The only reason to continue reading this mini was for Dr. Thirteen and his crazy band of Silver Age holdouts. I hope they make this into two separate trades so that people don’t have to suffer through that awful, awful Spectre story to get to the nougaty goodness that is Dr. Thirteen. What else was crap this week, the new art style in Betty & Veronica Double Digest. It wasn’t bad art, it just wasn’t Archie art. Archie and his pals have to look a certain way, otherwise they stop Archie and his pals.

52 Week #52

Brendan: It’s finally over. A full year has passed, and the mega-story that was DC Comics’ most ambitious project ever reached the climactic finish.

So how was it?

The problem with judging 52 up to this point has been the lack of precedent. A normal miniseries is generally about seven issues. The first two issues set Act 1, the next three give Act 2, and we wrap up with the last two. In this series the acts were each about eighteen issues long. While this was an exciting prospect and a true novelty, eighteen issues of setup was a difficult burden for much of the audience. One would not be wrong to say this series was slow at times.

But, that was the payoff.

Two weeks ago the mini event of World War III gave us all some much needed action. If 52 was going to feel like a meaningful series in DC history, we were going to need to see some people get fucked up. Black Adam, my personal favorite character of the series, fucked some people up. In so doing, we got the explanations for the varied “One Year Later” mysteries. Last week gave some resolution to that event. So, if WWIII was the huge crazy go nuts battle at year’s end, how would the series finally resolve? What could there possibly be left?

It turns out, lots. As was leaked in Dan Didio’s DC Nation column a few months back, the multiverse is alive and well in the DC Univ…Multiverse. Consequently, the Grant Morrison-acid trip-inspired-evolved Mr. Mind, after a year of burrowing about in Skeet’s innards, is hungry for the whole reality spawning pie. It’s up to Booster Gold, Rip Hunter, and Supernova (?) to stop him. (Spoilers! They do)

For me, the series paid off. Mike Mckone made a spectacular return to DC for the bulk of this book. Since his work on Exiles he has drawn some of my favorite superhero comics. His stuff is slick. Justiniano does some good work following his great art on WWIII’s Week 50. The rest of the book is rendered by 52 mainstays Chris Batista, Pat Olliffe, Darick Robertson, and Eddy Barrows. The large art cast didn’t distract at all, and in fact gives weight to the expansive scale of this project by each giving the denouement of the stories key players.

I think 52 did well to close the book on some very long running stories. From the initial kickoff of Identity Crisis, through the first Countdown, all of Infinite Crisis, and now 52, we had a story that dealt with a scale that only the DC Multiverse could handle. It was a story that only comics could tell, pushing the boundaries of what periodical comics can do in the ways they tell stories. We got some hugely heroic moments from a lot of underutilized characters, and a plot that no one could have predicted. A hero was redeemed, an Odyssey occurred in space, a family was made stronger, a love persevered, pride killed, and a woman found peace with herself. Add to that another all purpose continuity fixit, a couple big fight scenes, a definitive change to the status quo, a few spin off series starring DC’s new A list, and you’ll have 52. What were you expecting?

Adan: Awesomeness abounds in this issue of greatness rolled in superbity! Okay, maybe there’s a little hyperbole here, but this really was pretty damn good. The explanation of the multiverse was handled expertly, as was the Mr. Mind/Skeets/Rip Hunter/Booster Gold finale to the whole endeavour (although I still think the kids dropped the ball with the whole OYL bit). Yes, Giffen’s Justice League International (the best of them all) may have suffered some massive casualties in the past three years, but some of them have risen to greatness again thanks to this massive series: Animal Man, Booster Gold, and especially Elongated Man. Way to go Rucka, Waid, Johns, and Morrison, as well as all the artists. Also, the editors and production staffers for getting this thing out every week. I honestly didn’t think you’d pull it off; in fact, I gave you a maximum of twelve weeks before one of them was late. I’d like my words back, so that I can eat them.

Alien Pig Farm 3000 #1

Brendan: Right off the bat, this book was what all comics should aspire to be. Why, in the first five pages we see aliens, dinosaurs, The Finger, and rednecks. Those are ingredients for success. The premise is pretty simple; aliens crashed on Earth hundreds of millions of years ago, and today some bumpkins find them. Hilarity, of course, ensues. So the setup is strong, and the loose, cartoony horror illustration holds up. In fact, even the lettering of Jason Hanley stands out in establishing the off the wall mood. The narrative voice of the series also goes a long way to engage the reader. Unfortunately, the promise of the first act fails to carry throughout. Where the simple setup of aliens juxtaposed with hicks was spot on perfect and funny unto itself, the story itself quickly falls back on easy redneck humor that is neither funny nor original. This laziness seems to carry itself into the dialogue, where exposition is overly telegraphed. This is the kind of book that gets better the more outlandish it stays. I had enough fun to want to see where the next issue goes, but the leash may be short.

Adan: Brendan is right. I like dinosaurs, aliens, and to some extent, hillbillies. But how come we have to immediately go to the “hicks have sex with their sisters” joke? The main character seems pretty intelligent, more so than any of the other characters, definitely, cooking up ways evade the cops using the terrain and traps he’s set up. In fact, after the dinos and aliens set-up, we get an extended “Dukes of Hazzard”-type chase sequence, complete with bridge jumping. It’s pretty fun, but it’s not my bag.

Books With Pictures #3

Brendan: The first two issues of this series were lovingly crafted insights into the world of comic book retail. As a non-comic outsider, Melissa, mouthpiece of writer/ artist Sina Grace, takes an often hilarious look at comic culture. This issue, though, was a big disappointment. Porn is funny, comic customers and retailers feel awkward around pretty girls, and people can be assholes. None of this is really fresh ground. This book felt rushed and lacked a literary center. In the notes following the story, Grace admits that it has been ten months since the last chapters were actually crafted, but instead of growing as a storyteller he seems to have lapsed. The first issues showed promise, but I get the feeling that he is going to have to find a new story to tell. This one just feels over.

Adan: I thought it was pretty funny, but I haven’t read the first two issues. It was a spot-on recreation of the retail clerks and the customers of a comic book store (although their girl-to-boy ratio seems to be higher than most). My favorite joke in the book was the “Tongue in Cheek” joke because plays-on-words are the best kind of jokes (also, I’m a huge nerd). So, yeah, I disagree with the Coach and will be looking for the previous two issues so that I can laugh at avatars of myself and my co-workers.

Incredible Hulk #106 and World War Hulk Prologue: World Breaker

Adan: First things first: read Incredible Hulk before you read the Prologue, because that’s the order that will make the most sense. That said, I love this Amadeus Cho kid. He is fantastic! Also fantastic, Hulk’s Warbound. If Cho actually gets together with the gladiators and becomes their brains, the Earth is fucking toast. I especially liked She-Hulk’s talks with Doc Samson about the Hulk and why he thinks the Illuminati were right to shoot him into space and why she thinks they’re a bunch of wankers. The Prologue also features a very funny Mini-Marvels retelling of the New Avengers: Illuminati one-shot and the Planet Hulk storyline, as well as a reprint of Amadeus Cho’s first appearance in Amazing Fantasy #15.

Brendan: Mastermind Excello! Yes, he truly seems to be the breakout star of the upcoming promoto-vent World War Hulk. Seeing his first appearance was a treat, and I especially like the tongue in cheek description captions. He really feels like the chaotic wrench for Reed and Tony’s power structure. Booyakasha. Giarrusso’s strip is hilarious, but also a surprisingly viable take on that story. Peter David lays the groundwork for what should be a cool Hulk tale by finding the voices of She-Hulk and Doc Samson. I’ve been as leery as anyone concerning this obvious cash in following Civil War, and I don’t plan on altering my reading list to fit the World War checklists, but if the Hulk book and main mini stay this entertaining it should be a big hit.

Hellboy: Darkness Calls #1

Adan: YES! New Hellboy! And right in the first six pages there is a HUGE revelation! Oh man, how I have waited for Mike Mignola to give this to me. It’s creepy, it’s a little bit confusing, but most of all, it’s great! Hecate shows up, as do tons of other witches, and Hellboy doesn’t deal well with witches. They tend to want to kick his ass. Duncan Fegredo’s art is perfect for this book (well, not as perfect as Mignola’s, but he’d take years): it’s spooky and dark, and there’s this heaviness to it, even during daylight scenes, that seems to just grab foreboding right out of the air and make lines with it. It’s really quite good.

Brendan: Good story, good art, good times. Fegredo has come a long way since his Kevin Smith years, and his Hellboy manages to feel right without just being a Mignola rehash. Don’t have anything bad to say, really. This feels weird. Let’s move on to…

Nascar Heroes #1

Adan: A NASCAR driver with superpowers. Heck, a whole pit crew with superpowers. And an evil NASCAR driver with superpowers. How can you not love the heck out of this book (I don’t even like NASCAR)? It’s a pretty simple premise (evil guy is doing crazy experiments so that he can win more easily and our hero gets caught up in it, as does his pit crew), but with cars! And not just any cars; NASCAR cars! Look, you’re gonna read this, and you’re going to like it. Not because it’s some kind of fantastic thing or anything, but because it’s such a ridiculous premise.

Brendan: I may have had my ridiculous premise fill with Alien Pig Farm. I will say this, for speedster lovers this issue was at least as good as the first eight issues of the latest Flash run. Probably better, even. I learned, in perfect infomercial style, a lot about how NASCAR works, and what qualifies as a fast pit time, (9.8 seconds! That’s amazing!) The art was a nice surprise, and had the clean feel of a very good animator. It’s a NASCAR world, apparently, and we’re just living in it. Or something. I guess. But what happens when Jimmy Dash meets the NFL Superpro?

Sensational Spider-Man Annual #1

Brendan: “He’s my husband. You’re just some dude.”

MJ can be pretty great. So this is an oversized annual, but nobody fights. Blasphemy, you cry, but wait- it is actually a pretty sweet love story of Pete and MJ. In fact, I would contend that this issue is proof that Marvel is committed to the Parker marriage for the long term. This would be a waste of a story if she’s just going to die in a few months. Of course, it could be the opposite. Guess we’ll have to see.

Matt Fraction continues to perform as one of my favorite writers working. His story works well, both in addressing the current upheaval for the Parker family, (hospital bills, running from the law, tax season) and looking back in Spider-Man history. Salvador Larroca does good work both in creating a look for Peter that evokes shame and lawlessness as well as doing a hell of a John Romita Sr/ Ross Andru impersonation of the Coffee Bean years. Ultimately, this issue is a character piece about why these two are in love. Fraction’s voice is perfectly suited to the story, especially coming through strong in the voice of a twenty-something couple. They feel modern and familiar, which does more to make them relatable than any dissolution of their marriage would. Big fan of this issue, and also a big fan of SHEILD making an appearance without Iron Man. Hate that guy.

Adan: I am a HUGE fan of Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane, and this annual feels like a natural extension of that series (in fact, maybe Fraction should take over that title once Sean McKeever leaves) because Spider-Man most definitely loves Mary Jane, and Mary Jane reciprocates with all her heart. It’s a sweet story, filled with flashbacks to simpler times. But the Coach is wrong: there is some action. It’s small, but it’s there amidst the sweetness and love.

Welcome to Tranquility #6

Adan: A most satisfying ending to the first arc of Gail Simone’s WildStorm comic. Mr. Articulate’s murderer is revealed, as are a bunch of other things that dovetail nicely into one bang-up ending. Everybody has their moment in the sun, including crazy-ass pilot MInxy Millions, and everybody gets to help save the day… well, most everybody. Some people just get their asses beat. If you’ve never read an issue, then pick up the trade when it comes out, but definitely, definitely check out. It’s probably the best thing coming out of WildStorm right now.

Brendan: Gail Simone had a great handle on the large cast of this book. The characters each have unique voices and memorable powers or hooks. Neil Googe and Billy Dallas Patton do a great job making the story look great. The plot itself feels reminiscent of the Minutemen flashbacks of Watchmen, so that doesn’t suck. In fact, it is really nice to see one of these Worldstorm books not sucking, and I can’t wait to see where the series goes from here.

And Others…

Adan: Geoff Johns’ last issue of Teen Titans was a complete and utter disappointment. I’m pretty sure he just stopped caring after awhile. On the other hand, Brian K. Vaughn’s sole issue of Midnighter was great. The storytelling technique he uses this issue is something I don’t think I’ve seen before, and it worked really well.

Brendan: Yeah, it felt like there was a really good, touching story somewhere hidden in Johns’ last Titans go, but it was hidden amidst the crap. For whatever reason, though, I’m looking forward to the new era of the book. Beechen has been very good on Robin. Astonishing X-Men was a good one, and Cassaday seemed to go the extra mile on backgrounds with definite results. Green Lantern was interesting and artist Daniel Acuna seemed to progress a bit, but the real draw was the great Sinestro Corps backup. Also… Nextwave is showing up in a comic this week! Can you be the one to find them first!?!?!

Adan: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. It’s a pretty funny cameo, as are all Nextwave appearances, really.

Amazons Attack #1

Adan: This is just a second issue of Wonder Woman in the same week, is all. Sarge Steel and Circe, regulars in Wonder Woman, make appearances here, as does, you know, Wonder Woman. In fact, one should probably read Wonder Woman #9, also out this week, before reading this. A few guest spots by Black Lightning and Batman make this a somewhat more exciting issue of Wonder Woman, but it’s still just an issue of Wonder Woman. I will say this: Washington, DC, gets blowed the fuck up. Monument after monument fall to the Amazon hordes, except for the most obvious one: the Washington Monument. One would think that’s the first one these militant feminists would zero in on.

Brendan: Actually, I would also recommend you check out this month’s Wonder Woman [PCS Preview]. After floundering without an identity for eight issues, this issue manages to finally feel like it’s putting it together. The Nemesis/ Wonder Woman scene was actually charming, and Diana started to seem human instead of just talk about it. The Dodsons return, and with them bring an A list feeling to the work. The recent announcement of Gail Simone as a regular series writer is welcome news. She will right the ship.

I have a feeling Countdown will work in a similar fashion to Amazons Attack. If it is meant to be the “spine” of the DCU, there is going to be some cross over. I thought this was a fun DC read. Pete Woods seems to have really taken a turn upward since his work on Up, up, and Away, and his Amazons were frightening. I wonder if after this Amazons will be more or less confusing. Also, are there like a million Sarge Steel impersonators? Seriously?

Adan: He’s the most impersonated guy in the DCU, I’m sure. I think even Anarky pretended to be Sarge Steel once.

Connor Hawke: Dragon’s Blood #6

Adan: The last issue of this fantastic mini-series is just as fantastic as the rest of it! Shado and Eddie have a little chat about the boy, whilst he loses even more if his innocence. And from our high school literature courses, we all know that once innocence is lost, it can never be regained. The character work in this mini has been so good, I now want to see a lot more of Connor Hawke, but he has to be written by Chuck Dixon. Judd Winnick has to keep his grubby fucking mitts off him. I also wouldn’t mind if Derec Donovan drew every Connor adventure for the rest of time. I love the lips he gives Connor, Oh, and the fact that his Chinese people actually look like Chinese people is also pretty cool.

Brendan: This issue seemed like a solid ending to Green Arrow II’s newest series. It always bothered me how much Connor seemed to regress after his stint in Grant Morrison’s JLA, if only for the resurgence of his father. By making mention of this, as well as showing him reach his potential, this issue shines without any GA Sr. It may even gives Iron Fist a run for its money for kung fu action, but comes up just short. Hawke still feels like a supporting cast member to me, but I would enjoy the occasional solo short story.

Adan: Yeah, well you’re a poopy head. Connor Hawke is a great character, and this was a great series. You’re just jealous you didn’t get a mini-series where you kicked a dragon’s ass, and then kung-fued your way all up on a sucka. The green-eyed monster is a very dangerous thing, McGuirk.

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America – Avengers

Brendan: Goddamn, that Ed McGuinness and Dexter Vines sure can make the pretty pictures. What better place for team EDex to make their full issue debut than a book with, count ‘em, both Avengers squads? The answer, of course, is nowhere. McGuinness’ characters always manage to exude tremendous power, making the Avengers the perfect fit. Someday, when the moon is right, maybe we’ll even see an issue or two of him drawing The Ultimates. Or maybe we’ll all be dead by then. Who knows.

So the art is fantastic. It even manages to feel like a bridge between the art styles of the two books. The story follows suit, with the story of the Mighty Avengers fighting scary looking monsters and with the New Avengers playing a hand of poker while talking a lot. Everyone deals with loss in their own way. Or, rather, in this comic, everyone deals the same. In keeping with the “stages of grief” outline for the Fallen Son series, we meet the Avengers at “anger.” Rather, we meet them as they progress from denial to anger. The legitimate, Mighty squad seems to be working through the grief, with a hint of Ms. Marvel brand brutality, while the underground New team is waiting in hiding for Cap’s return. Both teams are obviously trying desperately and fruitlessly to put the death out of their minds, and the emotions of both rise to a boil. Enjoyable and entertaining, with an overdue Young Avengers cameo, it doesn’t fully satisfy. The chronology doesn’t seem to mesh, with the death issue, the Mighty launch, the Civil War: Initiative one shot, and the subsequent New Avengers follow up all seemingly concurrent. Didn’t Ms. Marvel tell Spider-Woman it was all okay? Did Wolverine break into SHIELD bases twice for the same reason? I will say that Loeb more deftly interweaves the Anger theme than he did Denial, but he still resorts to simply using the word a lot towards the end to stress his point. Someday I’m going to figure out why it is that every top level talent loves working with Loeb, but this issue wasn’t terribly helpful in figuring it out.

Adan: Yes, McGuinnes is fantastic. I can’t look at his art and not start drooling. But, and there’s usually always a but, what’s with the concurrent storytelling? If you’re going to do something like this, it’s usually best to arrange your panels in such a way so as to not confuse the readers. Either keep them all top-bottom, like in the beginning, or keep them all right-left. Don’t just switch back and forth between the two for the entire issue. Normally, I like concurrent storytelling; it’s a useful tool to tell more than one story, set in either different places at the same time, or in different times at the same place (see that Greyshirt story Alan Moore did in one of those Tomorrow Stories issues). And Brendan is right, the continuity is all mucked up, the theme is pounded into my skull (does he really write the word “anger” three times at the end of the issue?), and good artists continue insisting to work with Loeb for apparently no good reason.

Johnny Hiro #1

Brendan: So if you like Scott Pilgrim, and I know you do, check out Johnny Hiro (half asian, all hero). It is pretty great. With just the right mix of superslapstickmonsterificaction, Fred Chao’s dream-like tale reads like a Nickelodeon fairy tale, only in Brooklyn with giant lizards. So, y’know, it’s pretty great. Chao really nails the action throughout the issue, each jump and kick is crystal clear. The dialogue of Hiro’s girlfriend, Mayumi, is maybe probably a little racy, but comes off innocently enough. The grey tones by Dylan Babb are good, and avoid distraction. Nextwave, Vimanarama, Casanova, Scott Pilgrim, Johnny Hiro. If you’re a fan of ass kicking action, then you are a fan of these books.

Adan: The Scott Pilgrim analogy is apt here. Johnny Hiro is just a regular dude who happens to be put into an extraordinary situation: a giant radioactive lizard takes his girlfriend and he has to rescue her. The dialogue and caption boxes are hilarious and sweet, and Mayor Bloomberg’s cameo is the best thing I’ve ever seen Mayor Bloomberg do, ever. And I don’t think Mayumi’s dialogue is racy so much as another hilarious joke. I could really hear her inside my head, which is usually not the case when I’m reading comic books. Look, just pick it up. It’s a $2.95 one-shot and there’s no more Civil War bullshit to buy, so you have no excuse. If your LCS sells out, order online. If your online store sells out, scream bloody murder until they get it back in. You need to own this book.

Outsiders Annual #1

Adan: Well, here’s an OYL event that was actually one year later and not TWL (two weeks later). The Outsiders attempt to break out Black Lightning from Iron Heights, whilst Boomerang Junior helps the guy not die before the cavalry shows up. Unfortunately, seven kinds of shit hits the fan. Find out why Arsenal quit the team, Metamorpho replaced Shift, the world thought the Outsiders were all dead, Oliver Queen started to bankroll them, and most importantly, why the world still thinks the Outsiders are a bunch of bad guys. Earlier Winnick jab aside (seriously, though, don’t fuck up Connor Hawke), his Outsiders has been a consistently entertaining read so long as he doesn’t “After School Special”-it-up (remember that “America’s Most Wanted” arc? what the fuck were you thinking?)

Brendan: I just haven’t been able to get behind Winnick’s writing in a while. I enjoyed the early run of Outsiders, and I totally dug the Insiders crossover with the Titans, but other than that it has all disappointed. For someone who was reportedly such a key factor in the Infinite Crisis planning, not one of his books synched up to the mega event in any coherent way. OYL this book lost me. The annual hooked me with the intriguing Iron Heights setup, (Iron Heights is one of the great Flash stories), and got me with the Shift and Metamorpho resolution, but left me cold. There just seem to be a lack of original ideas in this book. Boomerang was conceived in the Meltzer bestseller, Iron Heights and the villains therein were Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver creations, and, of course, it’s a prison break. Those characters are all the most interesting parts of the book. To make matters worse, I just don’t like his take on Nightwing. He always seems too cold and Batman-like. And is it my imagination, or are Grace and Thunder checking each other out? I’m as piggish as the next guy, but does Judd Winnick need a minimum of six controversial topics per issue? Is it seven? Overall, not the worst comic, but mostly it just seems to be someone using the same old toys and playing the same old game.

Powers #24

Brendan: I honestly don’t know how one could complain about “Powers.” The characters evolve, the stakes are raised, and relationships change. The recent delays have been a bummer, but when bearing in mind the fact that the series is now on the sixty-first consecutive issue by the same creative team, it seems forgivable. This issue offers resolution to the most recent story arc, with some really freaky-deaky magic shit, some whacked out alien mumbo jumbo, and conspiracies! Walker is a badass. This is a rocking superhero book. Duh.

Adan: I can complain about Powers pretty well usually. I can say things like, “The quality of this book has dropped so considerably and consistently, it’s a damn shame this didn’t end about thirty issues ago,” or things like, “Every simple murder mystery Bendis creates is given such a ridiculous explanation (this one gets two!), the reader had no way of even moderately expecting what the ending will be like.” I’m not saying telegraph your endings or anything, but you can only go to the ‘out-of-left-field’ well for so long before you’re just a hack. I mean, for fuck’s sake, the Devil!? And this was on top of the government conspiracy red herring. Mark my words, without that delightful coroner from a few issues back, this book is just going to keep on sucking.

Punisher Presents: Barracuda #3

Brendan: Every time I talk to anyone about this kick-ass mini series all I hear is (SPOILERS) “Blah, blah, blah, he died in The Punisher.” Who cares!? Who doesn’t want to see more Barracuda tomfoolery? Who are you people and will you go away before you jinx us and we get no more Barracuda hilarity!? I won’t get into the story at all because there is really no need, but I will say that this is the best new character out of Marvel in at least a year. He is, as a character, brilliant for his simple cunning, and will no doubt be integrated into the Marvel Universe. He will team up with the Absorbing Man and face off against Luke Cage and the Falcon. I’m saying it should happen, it’ll be cool.

Adan: Apparently, he didn’t die, he just sustained all his injuries (he’s missing the eye and his right fingers, as well other things, I’m sure). And the Coach is right: Barracuda tomfoolery is where it’s at. You don’t like Barracuda, that’s fine, but don’t take it away from me and Brendan. We might have to fuck you up.

Star Trek: Klingons – Blood Will Tell #1

Adan: YES! Am I a Trekkie? You’re Goddamn right I am! Does a book all about Klingon history from Kirk’s era make happy? You bet your ass! And there’s a Klingon language edition too? My heart is all a-flutter! Unfortunately, I’m not hardcore enough to actually speak Klingon (plus, my girlfriend would kick my ass if I learned it before I learned Mandarin), so I had to read the regular English edition like some kind of nerd sub-class. Anyway, if this book is in-continuity, I now know why there are smooth-foreheaded Klingons, and ridged-foreheaded Klingons: it was those damn patahk humans! Okay, so I know two Klingon words: patahk and qapla. One means you’re a dick and the other means victory. Look, this isn’t about how nerdy I am, okay? It’s about how awesome this book is, and it’s freaking awesome. I’m gonna go watch some more DS9 now!

Brendan: Y’know I had that Klingon dictionary, but lacked the qa’vIn (discipline) to really make any progress. Oh, flashbacks to the days of Trek, Metallica, and Terry Brooks novels. I thought I’d repressed all those memories. Not sure if I dig the ridge explanation, but it serves the purpose. It is always a trip to sit on the opposing side of these familiar conflicts, and the fundamental differences between the Federation and the Klingon Empire are well illustrated. In fact, the whole issue is well illustrated care of David Messina and Elena Casagrande. The figure work has an Ed McGuinnes/ Cory Walker feel to it, and sells the Klingons well. Dug the issue, but I may have skipped the next one if not for that killer cliffhanger!

PS- The Klingon word above doesn’t mean “discipline,” but it means something! 10 points to the first poster to crack the case!

Quickies

Brendan: Hmm. 52 may have had the most satisfying issue to date with this penultimate chapter. Lots of explanation, and a payoff from the very first issue.

Adan: No way. The best 52 issue was definitely the Dibny swansong issue.

Brendan: The Justice Society chapter of “The Lightning Saga” was a thrill. There’s Batmania and a wink at Superboy’s past that ties to the Mon El chapter of the Action Comics Annual.

Adan: Yeah, this is the first time I’ve enjoyed the new Justice League of America series (the most recent issue is the first part of “The Lightning Saga”), and this issue gives me two more of my long-lost Legion. I’m very excited about what using Legion members from about three retcons ago means for the DCU, as well as the Legion currently running around.

As you no doubt have guessed by now, Brendan has more or less replaced Laura here at the vaunted halls of Picks, Pans, and Scans. Don’t worry, I didn’t kill her or anything, and she’s totally not stuffed in the trunk of anybody’s car. She’s just decided that she doesn’t have enough time in her life to be writing this column weekly. We wish Laura luck in all her future endeavors, and she says she’ll drop by periodically for a guest spot when she finds the time. But with Brendan’s full-time entrance, we now welcome you to Brendan and Adan’s Picks, Pans, and Scans! Enjoy the show.

Batman: The Mad Monk TP

Brendan: Matt Wagner’s Dark Moon Rising series continues in the magical Batman land of Year 1.5. Where the first installment, Batman and the Monster Men, revisited Hugo Strange, the first recurring rogue of Batman’s history, Mad Monk is an homage to the Crusader’s first two part story, (shriek! decompression!). And as Monster Men centered on the first time Bats was drastically and scientifically outmuscled, Monk shows us the first time he was up against a foe beyond the everyday cowardly and superstitious lot. Vampires push the boundaries of a young Bruce Wayne only accustomed to drug dealers and muggers. With this tale, Wagner manages to expose horror as an underutilized genre for the Dark Knight to explore.

In many ways, Batman-in-training is the perfect setting to tell fun stories in ways that continually ground the character. With the benefit of hindsight creators can add tons of wrinkles that serve as winks to the character’s history. Things can change, so long as the change rings true to the mythic continuity. Of course, this is obvious for the mere fact that the Year One format is the most revisited trope of the last two decades. The other is the inner monologue caption. Mad Monk manages to utilize both storytelling methods in an effective way, and proves to be one of the most satisfactory Batman stories of recent memory. The average Batman comic plays him so many steps ahead of the reader, so it is a trip to actively watch him piece together an impossible situation and continue in denial. There is growth in this story for Batman, and the voices throughout reflect that journey. Between the still dangerous and corrupt Gotham backdrop, the pulpy and charming supporting cast introduced in Monster Men, and the eerie villain Mad Monk, this story proves to be a Batman story that makes a worthwhile addition to the bookshelf. Wagner strikes some truly iconic Batman poses and moments, and this vision of the Dark Knight feels like the 1930s creepy monster Batman movie you never saw.

Also, I believe we have our first in continuity non-prostitute Selina Kyle appearance!

Adan: Eh, I’m not so excited as the Coach. It was fun and pulpy, but I personally enjoyed Monster Men more. The supporting cast that Brendan finds charming, I find tepid and two-dimensional. Norman Madison spends the entire mini-series afraid of his own shadow and we have to wait until the very end to see anything come of that, throwing the pacing all off. His daughter, Julie Madison, is vapid and annoying, and again, this doesn’t change until the very end. This Mad Monk villain isn’t as engrossing as Hugo Strange was in the first mini. I don’t know, maybe it’s as simple as the supernatural and Batman don’t mix well for me, but I don’t like it so much. Except for the art. That Matt Wagner sure can draw pretty.

And yeah, yay for Selina not selling herself and stealing stuff instead. Woohoo!

Death Dealer #1

Adan: If you like Conan, Red Sonja, or any other swords and sorcery book, then you’re probably going to like this because it’s really just more of the same. I kind of dug the Death Dealer’s back story, but the main story fell flat. There’s a woodman’s son and Duke’s daughter in love, and some crazy demon soldier things, but not much else. I give this another issue before I drop it altogether.

Brendan: Yeah, I agree with Adan. It was pretty standard. I will say I thought the art was a step up from the Red Sonja stuff, but probably below Conan standards. Too much talking, too many characters, not enough dealing of the death.

Girls #24

Adan: The final issue of the series makes sure it goes out with a bang! More townspeople deaths (some quite surprising), more survivors than you originally thought, and way more naked chicks than you could shake a stick at. When this series first came out, I took one look at the cover and passed. I thought it was just another T&A book. But last month, when issue #23 came out, I decided to read it all in one sitting (three trades and five floppies). This book grabbed me and held on tight. A survival horror story with elements of science fiction and sexual group dynamics should be an intriguing premise to damn near everybody, and I promise you it delivers. I understand that at its most basic, Girls is just another zombie book, only the zombies are hot, but its so much more than that, it’s ridiculous. If you like The Walking Dead (or did when it was still good), then you have to pick this up. Start at the beginning and then grab this issue which serves a very satisfying ending. Go ahead, I’ll wait here for you.

Brendan: Far be it from me to scoff at “just another T&A book.” After reading an issue or two of the Luna Brothers’ previous series, Ultra, it was clear the guys had talent. I skipped Girls for the most part, but still found the ultimate chapter to be a satisfying read. I got a more horror movie feel than a pure zombie one, not so much for the threat but rather the panicked manner that the townspeople interact. My main complaint is one that I think permeates all the Lunas work- it can be REALLY hard to tell the characters apart. I like the streamlined look of the book, and appreciate the simplicity and conservation of the line they employ, but without truly standout features even the men and women seem to blend together. It was a solid ending, which leads me to trust in Adan’s recommendation. Finally, it’s reassuring to know that there are other people in the world whose nightmares are haunted by giant zombie spewing sperm. I was deeply concerned that I was the only one.

Negative Burn #10

Brendan: There are some great stories in this recently revived anthology series. The lead story, “Aces,” is a great time travel romp, complete with conspiracies and paradoxes (paradoxi?). The art can be a little hard to follow at times, but it has enough adventure strip feel to it that all is forgiven. Ira Singerman and Harsho Mohan Chattoraj’s “The Twelve” is an eerie vignette about the underworld. It is Chattoraj’s art that really stands out in that story, the inking in particular. “Wings of Juano Dioz” feels like the best kind of independent comics, a tearfully poetic story about two lovers. There are more good works in here, and I wholly recommend it to anyone who likes to dabble outside of what qualifies as the “mainstream.” That isn’t even in regards to Big Two superhero titles, but also with concern to story length, format, and subject. Anthologies are like great buffets, you can just pick and snack until you feel full.

Adan: Yeah, but unlike buffets where you can pick and choose, an anthology makes you eat everything contained therein, even crappy artichokes. I didn’t like “Aces,” but that might be because this was the last part of a five part story. I didn’t know what the hell was going on and the art really didn’t help me out. My three favorites in this anthology were “To Feed the Monster,” “Wings of Juano Dioz,” and “The Mennonite at the 7-11.” The first two are kind of sad and poignant and made me think about stuff I’d really rather not think about, and the third one was just funny as hell. I don’t know if it’s worth your $5.99, but if it’s just burning a hole in your pocket, then go ahead and pick it up.

Simpsons #129

Brendan: First of all, Lenny’s hair is WAY too light in this issue. That really irks me. Hold on, I’m gonna need a minute.

Okay. I picked this book up because I wanted to laugh. Bongo comics can be really fun stuff, and I thought it would be nice to show some love. But this issue just wasn’t funny. It had the pace and pieces of any Simpsons episode, but without any unexpected moments or jokes. Instead, it just felt like we were watching the people of Springfield acting like themselves. That just isn’t enough. The plot had potential, reaching its peak with an unexpected gang, but usually an episode of this type takes a turn after about eight minutes and focuses on some other entertaining “B” story. No such luck. The illustrations were clear enough and everyone looked right, the story just came up lacking. This is doubly disappointing as it was scripted by Weapon X creator himself Len Wein. I thought you were the best there was at what you do, bub!! You lied to me!

Long story short- Homer is lazy, but in the end he has a good heart. Who knew. Roll credits.

Adan: Actually, I think the ‘A’ story was the eating too much and the ‘B’ story was the scooter thing. The ‘A’ story just ended too quickly and that’s why you were confused. But the Coach is right about everything else. It just wasn’t funny. It was like any episode of the show after about the sixth season. Un the up side, the movie is coming out soon, and did you hear this? Eleven 7-11s across the country are getting remade into Kwik-E-Mart’s, complete with products like Squishees, Buzz Cola, and Krusty-Os Cereal stocking the shelves. That sounds fantastic!

World War III (including 52 Week #50)

Adan: I swear to God I thought there was going to be continuity error after continuity error in this event, but the timeline in 52 actually matches up with the timeline in World War III, the only exception being that the final battle takes place at night in 52 and during the day in World War III. That’s not too bad. However, explaining away almost all of your much ballyhooed “One Year Later” changes in the span of one week (which is only two weeks before “One Year Later” is supposed to start) was not done so well. You’re telling me China closed its borders, Manhunter went all badass, the old JSAers decided not to quit, Supergirl came back from the future, the Red Hood donned the Nightwing duds, Donna became Wonder Woman, the Titans changed their entire line-up, Cassandra joined up with Deathstroke, Father Time changed bodies, Harvey Dent started patrolling Gotham, Aquaman became some kind of fish monster, and Manhunter became an agent of the DEO all in the same week? That’s some fine, fine needle-threading there. I will say this, I am quite excited by how Booster Gold, Rip Hunter, and Professor T.O. Morrow will take out Skeets in the next two issues. All in all, not horrible, but not awesome either. Fairly middle of the road, and frankly, that’s not good enough.

Brendan: Yeah, but it was a really shitty week that caused all that stuff. 52 #50 serves as a great payoff to my favorite storyline, Black Adam. Justiano, who shot to stardom after his work on the magic and Shazam centric Day of Vengance, delivers one of the best looking issues yet. The war feels epic, but stays centered enough to hit home a major blow at the end. With so many of the storylines dovetailing together here, it feels very much like the work of the entire writing team. Even the coloring of the issue seemed to be as vibrant and standout as the very first issue. This series was a huge risk, and the fact that the entire series sold well, shipped on time, (so far, and perhaps to the detriment of the rest of the DC publishing line), and remained the most consistently entertaining title all while staring characters that likely couldn’t sustain their own titles is a masterful feat. There are two issues left, but with this week’s massive payoff, it is time to acknowledge the accomplishment.

The World War III issues themselves, though, don’t hold up as well as the main title. Though the timeline matching over all five books is impressive, the ‘purpose’ of this book feels suspect. While the art teams are all up to snuff, and even manage to maintain the visual beats of 52 without Keith Giffen’s layouts, and the story of Martian Manhunter is entertaining, it doesn’t feel as though it warrants four issues, all essentially vital if you have followed 52. Of course, you don’t need to read them to understand the journey of the chief protagonists, but chances are if you’ve gone so far as to buy fifty issues of one story, the four issues are a small price to pay for the entire story. Basically, and Executive Editor Dan Didio admits as much in his DC Nation column, 52 ran too long as a story, and so was unable to fit all the explanations left after the Crisis. There were fifty two issues to tell one cohesive story, one of the most ambitious experiments to date, but it wasn’t quite long enough. I agree with Adan that too many of the explanations seemed forced through the event, and personally would have rather left the stories explained in the titles themselves.

Overall, it was entertaining, and well put together, but felt too much like a continuity band-aid. I will say that One Year Later was never meant to be a hard date, but rather a buffer for each book to find its’ own story, there is no reason that each OYL would start on Week 53, Day 1. Ironically, it is this week’s Nightwing Annual that proves to be the most entertaining explanation of the OYL gap.

All Star Superman #7

Adan: Late again by a not inconsiderable length of time, and yet still the better behaved of the All-Star children. At least Superman visits from time to time, usually around the holidays or other important dates, but Batman? No, he’s left home and he’s not looked back. Maybe we shouldn’t have been so hard on him when he gave us lip, but c’mon. “I’m the Goddamn Batman?” That kind of backtalk is inexcusable. Regardless, this is supposed to be about the good son, and what a good son he is. All-Star Superman is (and I use this term loosely) consistently a great book. Grant Morrison, with the correct amount of crazy and genius makes this one of, if not the best superhero comic around. Even Frank Quitely’s art, which I normally hate with a passion reserved for Commies and John Byrne, is great in this book. His Superman is massive and heroic, with shoulders the size of football fields. He looks like Charles Atlas, and not by accident. And hey, this issue features plenty of bad grammar for you grammar geeks to correct: Me am no like this book a lot. It am badder than milk after cookies.

Brendan: All Star Superman #7 proves that good things come to those who wait. Grant Morrison provides an intriguing take on the classic villain Bizzaro. The creative twist on the character is just enough to turn the story from absurd to slightly disturbing, but may have been more rewarding if not for the recent re-envisioning of the character in Donner and Johns’ Action Comics. Frank Quitely and Jamie Grant deliver the artistic goods on what feels like the most polished superhero book on the stands. It is a bit of a shame sacrificing the book’s most satisfying quality, the single issue story, in favor of the two-parter, but the issue’s cliffhanger manages to give the scope desired of a longer tale. While not my favorite issue of the series to date, this issue still outshines 95% of the superhero comics on the stands.

Fell #8

Brendan: Fell. Man, what a great comic. Templesmith’s art is completely haunting, and Ellis seems to be more comfortable with these characters and settings than he’s ever been. The issue is about a murder, but like most Fell tales it is really about Richard Fell’s heartbreaking relationship with his new home of Snowtown. Ellis continues to innovate comics’ storytelling, here with more than half the issue told exclusively through the detective’s crime scene photos and post-it notes. Great book, and this one will break your heart.

Adan: This issue uses a nifty storytelling technique: every panel (except a bit at the very end) is a shot from Detective Fell’s cheap diposable camera during one night. Every crime scene he investigates, every person he talks to, every perp he roughs up. I question the intelligence in that last one, but whatever, it’s Snowtown (oooh! suddenly I want to see a Chinatown-like story set in Snowtown; the ending to that movie was pretty fucked up, so imagine what crazy things Ellis could do in Snowtown). As Detective Fell solves yet another grisly mystery that will no doubt give him nightmares (you know, if he slept anymore), he also comes to a revelation: this is his home now, and these people depend on him. “This is where I live now,” the detective says, as he stares out into Snowtown. “None of you are nothing to me.” And this comic is damn good something to me.

Madman Atomic Comics #1

Brendan: That Mike Allred is a cool cat. That Madman fella is too. Atomic Comics’ Madman #1 debuts from Image this week, and serves as a great primer on the world’s deadest superhero. We get a retelling of the entire origin of Frank Einstein, and a few new wrinkles. Madman seems to begin an Animal Man like journey through his own self-definition, and may end up peeking through the fourth wall. It will be fun, nonetheless, and you won’t want to miss this new series.

Adan: Having never read any Madman before (although secretly wanting to), this book makes me really happy. It seems to be a new direction for the undead hero, but this issue perfectly encapsulates Madman’s entire history in twenty-five pages while at the same time starting a brand-new story. Hell, I’m intrigued as all get out by this unraveling mystery, and I’ve never read the character before. I can only assume long-time fans will grip this with the strength of a snow leopard dragging a markhor back to its lair (sorry, I’ve been watching a lot of Planet Earth, which is fantastic, by the way). What I’m saying is, unless you’re a dirty beatnik, read this book!

New X-men #37

Brendan: I like that there are things in life you can rely on. I like that no matter what, even on the obscure titles I never bother to check in on, X-Men books will be pretty. New X-Men #37 was no disappointment, as it was a tag team of Skottie Young and Pride of Baghdad’s Niko Henrichon on art chores. I’m not very familiar with the newest class of New Mutants, but that didn’t really matter in this issue, as they mostly just sat around telling scary stories. I don’t much care for these kids, and I don’t much care for Illyana Rasputin, but I didn’t mind this issue. It was what it was, a story about a story, and a pretty one at that. Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it. X-Men, you are my rock.

Adan: This is the the prelude to the “Quest for Magik” storyarc that, one assumes, brings Illyana Rasputin back to life. Firstly, let me say that Captain America’s death already means so little, why would you drive the point home by bringing more characters back to life? It’s almost as if Marvel only wanted the news cycle for the day. With that out of the way, I can get to the actual review: This issue is really good! New X-men is one of two X-books that are legitimately good (the other of course being X-Factor), and this issue keeps the ball rolling. Craig Kyle and Chris Yost’s technique of telling a story within a story is as old as time, but they use it here with superb effect. Blindfold, the mansion’s resident seer, begins telling the kids what they all believe to be a simple ghost story. In reality, she is telling the history, and present, of Limbo, Belasco, Amada Sefton, and Magik. Skottie Young handles the art featuring the kids, while Niko Henrichon (of Pride of Baghdad fame) lusciously paints all the “story” pages: all the pages which further Blindfold’s telling of Magik. I am excited to see where this all goes (especially if Niko stays on for the duration of the arc), but I am also wagging a finger in Marvel’s direction for once again proving comic book death doesn’t matter.

Nova #1

Adan: “What’s next?” That is the only question that the last surviving member of the Nova Corps, who’s mind currently shares primo real estate with the Xandarian Worldmind, will allow himself to ask. This issue is nothing but Richard Rider going from trouble spot to trouble spot, putting down continental-level threats here, destroying a pod of Annihilation Wave Troop Drones over there. And it’s excellent… up until he decides to go back to Earth. There are horrible crises all over the universe in which only he can help (8X8, as they’re called) and after one small brush with death, he decides it’s time to visit the old farmstead? That is wildly irresponsible and complete bullshit. You go home when the job is done, soldier, and not a moment before. You feel like you’re burning out? Maybe you need a little R&R? Well, suck it up because some of these people need to not fucking die, you selfish hump. Look, I understand you’re the last surviving Nova Centurion and that blows and all, but you hardly got dealt the worst hand in this whole Annihilation Wave thing. People need you and you have a responsibility that is ridiculously more important than your homesickness.

She-Hulk #17

Brendan: The guy bitching to start She Hulk #17 is totally right, there are way to many splash pages in comics that barely serve any narrative purpose. Dan Slott and Rick Burchett go to great lengths to cram this issue full of panels and hilarity. Slott also caters to the complaints of continuity champions by explaining that the Punisher’s victims in War Journal #4 were all just really sick. I wonder if Roy Thomas used to award himself No-Prizes? We get an answer to the decades-long question, “Why stockpile Nick Fury Life Model Decoys if not to reveal his darkest secrets?” Finally, you’ll believe Avengers can bump uglies!

Adan: Remember that long-ass discussion Laura and I had a while back about the perceived difference between male and female promiscuity? Well, after sleeping with Tony Stark, She-Hulk asks this: “Tony? How do you get away with it? … Sleeping around. When you do it, everyone calls you a player. When I do it, they call me a skank. Isn’t that a double standard?” For the record, I think you’re both dirty, dirty sluts, but the important thing here is that before Tony could give her an answer, the Helicarrier attacked them. And then She-Hulk spends the rest of the issue fighting in her panties. It’s almost as if we’re trying to bullrush female fans away from the store, here. Could we maybe not have She-Hulk ask for or get asked for sex every issue? That’d be good, thanks. Otherwise, keep up the good work, because this book is consistently funny and I’m happy to see Matt Hawk doing something besides rotting in comic book limbo.

Thorgal TP

Adan: How is a Polish comic from the mid-eighties better than almost every American comic currently out? How is that remotely possible? Well, I actually have an answer to this. Every year, the Asian Film Festival hits New York (July is almost here!) and every year they showcase fantastic movies from South Korea, Japan, Taiwan, India, China, and many other Asian countries, and these films are consistently better than almost everything Hollywood puts out that year. The reason for this is because we only see the best from Asia at this Festival. And of course we only see the best – it would be a crappy film festival if we saw the mediocre or the downright bad movies from Asia. And they do exist, they just rarely make it out of their home countries into ours on any kind of scale, although I’m quite certain you could find the worst piece of crap from any Asian country in Chinatown (never watch Freeze Me from Japan; that movie is fucking bad). So, the question is not why is Thorgal, a science fiction-fantasy hybrid whose main character is a space boy named Thorgal Aegirsson and not a gal with the powers of Thor as I originally believed, better than almost everything put out by American companies, but why did it take so long for an English adaptation? This book was out in Poland in the mid-eighties and my Polish friend read when she was a kid. She loves it a lot and actually has a bunch of the Polish volumes with her still. I’d filpped through them before, admiring the fantastic art contained therein, and now I have a story that goes with it. You’d be insane not to but this book over everything else coming out this week (except maybe All-Star Superman and Fell, but you can afford them too).

Brendan: I had a blast with Thorgal. I will totally admit that I was unsure what to expect of this collection, all I could imagine was the ill conceived “Thor Girl” character from Dan Jurgens’ Thor run, (she had a cameo in last week’s Avengers: Initiative #1, thanks mandatory registration!), so when I found out that the “Thorgal” character wasn’t even a girl, well I was quiet perplexed. A new translation of a twenty year old Belgian comic, it is a beautifully illustrated work that straddles the genres. Visually it feels to be paced in a similar fashion to Dave Gibbons’ work on The Watchmen. The juxtaposition of myths both modern and ancient gives the flavor of Planetary. It feels like an old story, a boy is discovered by Vikings in a mysterious craft, and he is adopted as one of their own. He is unique, and he follows in the tradition of the Saga heroes. The translation can be a bit rough at times, but the backdrop makes for a convincing excuse. With the influx of period pieces in Hollywood, this book seems like fertile ground for producers. Check this one out if you have liked the translated works of Archaia Studios like The Killer, Okko, or Secret History. Also recommend it if you’ve been searching for that Viking story your life has been missing. If only for that stupid, misleading name…

Wasteland TP

Adan: I’ve been reading this book since it started as a I’m an avowed fan of everything Oni Press puts out, but I’m still a little confused as to the state of this post-apocalyptic world. The event, the “apocalypse” as it were, was called The Big Wet. What that Big Wet was, I don’t believe has actually been explained yet. Regardless, whatever this Big Wet was, it caused the planet to be as dry as bone. Also, for reasons also not known, the people seem to worship the Sun, even though they live in a vast wasteland of desert. More importantly, the cool prose pieces in the back of each issue detailing a little bit more of the world were left out of this collection, which is damn disappointing. Fortunately, the main story is still engaging enough with plenty of action and intrigue, and awesome characters. Antony Johnston and Christopher Mitten have awesome track records on their own. Here in this book, they dovetail nicely and continue their streaks of great work.

Brendan: Wasteland may end up being really awesome. It has the scope that it could go on for quite a few volumes and not run out of story. Similar to The Walking Dead, not only for its black and white artwork but also the ensemble cast of wanderers that populate the book, it could conceivably work for a long time. The world, America 100 years after the cataclysmic “Big Wet,” is developed at a pace reminiscent of Jeff Smith’s Bone, where we never know more than we need to, learning the ways of the world one conflict at a time. Take one part Wild West story, one part Kevin Costner’s Waterworld, (minus the suck), and one part Walking Dead, add a few Star Wars brand Sandpeople for posterity, and you’ll have Wasteland. I enjoyed the book a great deal, and am now definitely going to check out more of writer Anthony Johnson’s work. My main issue was with the work of artist Christopher Mitten. I thought the world looked consistent and was generally pleased, but there were more than a few occasions where I was unsure which character was which. Hopefully over the course of the series this issue will fade. I won’t be rushing in to catch up with the single issues of this series, but I am more than willing to let this book satisfy my science fiction dystopian craving whenever I see a new volume.

Wonder Woman #7

Brendan: My expectations have been very high for Jodi Picoult’s Wonder Woman ever since I finished her great novel, (with a comic illustrator as the protagonist), The Tenth Circle. The book featured deeply fleshed out characters, a meticulously constructed plot, and even comic narrative pages. Dealing heavily with concepts of good and evil, as well as a literal interpretation of Dante’s Hell, I could think of no one more suited to righting the book most damaged by scheduling. If you cannot deliver the goods on a supposedly more marketable relaunch, don’t cancel it in the first place. I understand the need for DC Editorial to move on, but the fact that the opening arc was left completely hanging, with the vague promise that the story will finish in the future, is wholly unacceptable.

So it is up to Picoult to make the character viable. There may be hope, but she has gotten off to a slow start. The story, involving Circe, Diana’s secret agent partner Nemesis, and the emotional gap between Wonder Woman and the human condition, seems transparent and clumsy. It feels as though the writing is merely a coloring in of the editorially mandated lines and lacks an original flavor. Like fellow NY Times bestselling author Brad Meltzer’s work, it seems as though this story will read much better upon completion. While the obvious adoration for the character was a saving grace for Heinberg, the unfamiliarity with the medium’s subtleties seems to hinder the new scribe. Drew Johnson returns to the title even more refined than when he left, and manages to maintain the look of the Dodsons’ vision. Hopefully the next issue will have a little more personality than the last two, and Wonder Woman will have a chance at being a consistently enjoyable book again.

Adan: I’m not entirely sure what Jodi Picoult is trying to do in this book, besides setting up that Amazons Attack nonsense. She seems to making some kind of statement as to what being human entails, but it’s getting lost in editorially mandated plot points, as well as baffling posturing from both Circe and Wonder Woman. Nemesis has some good lines in the book, but overall it falls flat. And that’s unfortunate because the industry needs more female writers. Hell, we need more female everything, but it’s not going to stick if every time someone wants to tell a story that maybe means something, editors slap down the next ultra-mega-super-uber crossover like the Word of God.

As promised, Laura’s taken yet another week off and Coach McGuirk is subbing in again for her because that’s the kind of dude he is. There are also a few spoilers in this column so tread carefully.– Adan

Batman #664

Brendan: The father/son jam cover provided by the Kuberts Joe and Andy for Batman #664 looks great. Sadly, seeing the old and new schools combined only reminds me how late this book is. If the direct descendants to comic royalty can’t be counted on to deliver us from this crippling trend, who can?

But, I can’t help but be filled with glee when I see these Grant Morrison/ Andy Kubert Batman issues. If people don’t remember, back in the day when Jim Lee left the X-Men book, it was Kubert who followed and kept the pace. It was this gig that elevated him to a superstar. Today, the work on Batman echoes the past. Kubert’s Batman even looks like Lee’s. And that’s a great thing. Just don’t take as long as Jim Lee. Please. This issue is classic, fun Batman. Morrison’s creative intent couldn’t be any clearer than when he speaks to the audience through Bruce when he says, “[James Bond?] Oh, I’m much cooler than he is.” In this issue, he is. Oh, and if Bat-Bond isn’t enough, just wait until Bat-Bane Begins.

Adan: Obviously, this isn’t the real Bane, as he just won an election in a South American country, but he does look bad-ass and he may have broken the Batman. The Coach is right, though: Grant Morrison is a great writer and Andy Kubert is a great artist and if you need any proof, just open this issue to the very first page and tell me that doesn’t immediately make you want to read more. I’ve not seen a more compelling first page since… man, I can’t even remember when. Also, Kubert’s establishing Gotham shots are fantastic. Sometimes it’s New York, sometimes it’s Mexico City, and sometimes it’s Tokyo (like in this issue), but it’s still the same dirty, neon-lit, rat-infested, rainy city. I’m also relieved that this issue is an actual comic book and not a short illustrated story, like last time.

Daredevil #95

Brendan: I don’t have a ton to say about the latest issue of Daredevil. Matt has returned to his beloved Kitchen, and it is Hellish. Brubaker keeps the action moving, and the team of Lark and Gaudiano provide the proper amount of grit to the book. It wasn’t a bad read, but it did little to spark my interest. For as much acclaim as Brubaker has gotten for this book, it seems to me that the thrust of the credit should still go to Bendis and Maleev, who defined the pulpish tone of this book so clearly that this story seems like it is merely following in the footsteps.

Adan: See, personally, I think Bru is a better writer and Lark is a better artist, overall. On this book, they may be behind the curve a smidgeon, but they’re getting their sea legs right quick. The last two arcs they were just cleaning up the small mess that Bendis and Maleev left behind them (Matt in jail, his outing, Milla) and navigating the mine field that was Civil War (that’s why he was in Europe, kids; no registration bollocks there). Now, Bru and Lark can create their own story without any dangling plot threads, and this yarn already looks mighty fine. Melvin Potter is going crazy again and needs Matt Murdock’s help, while Hell’s Kitchen is once again in the grip of crime and needs Daredevil. Yup, mighty fine yarn.

Elephantmen #8

Brendan: Elephantmen is one of my favorite books. Creator and Comicraft founder Richard Starkings makes it his business to pack each and every issue of Elephantmen with loads of extras and bonus material. For those who think that lettering is merely a “cut-and-paste” job, check out the inside cover, where they graciously sample the many fonts that are needed and tweaked for this very issue. There are a lot of choices made by a letterer, and they’re usually so good you don’t even notice their work. Getting to the main story, Starkings once again provides a vignette that builds the relationships of the tortured souls of the elephantmen. It is consistently entertaining to watch the various characters deal with their post-traumatic stress in differing ways. Moritat’s simple linework allows for the gritty colors of their dystopian future to shine. If you love crime drama, or sci-fi, or are just very pro-animal rights, you should be reading this book. Plus, there is a pretty good interview with Marvel Eek Joey Q that makes a great companion piece to his work on Daredevil: Father. Double bonus plus- Freshney and Steen’s backup story is a great, light counterpart to the heavier main story. I want an iFrog.

Adan: This is the first time I’ve ever read Elephantmen, and I’ve got to disagree with the Coach. It did not feel like it was packed with “loads of extras and bonus material.” The main story was too short and not enough story for my tastes, and the back-up feature did not sufficiently cover for the main story’s length issues as it was shorter and lighter. And frankly, if you want to do interviews, then start a magazine. That said, the two stories, short as they were, were actually quite good. I am very intrigued by this future world of these Elephantmen (even though that seems like a misnomer seeing as how one of them is a hippo and another is a zebra). If the trades don’t skimp on the story for the price they’re asking, then I’ll pick them up, but I cannot see myself buying this book for three bucks on a monthly basis.

Fantastic Four #544

Brendan: Hey kids, look! The Fantastic Four finally complied with Initiative Affirmative Action! The king and queen of Wakanda are temporarily homeless, so while Reed and Sue go to work out their many obvious issues, Marvel’s new hottest couple steps in to help fill the gap. It isn’t the most plausible explanation for the obvious marketing stunt, but McDuffie makes it so it isn’t a huge distraction. Making good on the promise at the end of the Beyond! miniseries, a cybernetic-free Deathlok shows up and alerts the FF of the desecration of Gravity’s grave. New penciler Paul Pelletier doesn’t stun this issue, but doesn’t drop the ball either. This issue was passable, which is pretty unacceptable for a book with such a large marketing push.

Adan: Actually, I’m quite impressed with McDuffie’s handling of T’Challa and Ororo. He writes them better than Hudlin ever has (read Black Panther #26, also out this week, if you don’t believe me). The Panther has a Batman-level intellect, and he shows a small portion of it here that he hasn’t shown since Johns’ Avengers run or Priest’s Black Panther run. Ororo as well, is treated as more than window dressing or merely the undercard for whatever the Panther might be doing. They also seem to be integrated into the team in a believable way, with Ben sarcastically quipping every time T’Challa or Ororo do something not to his liking. And speaking of Ben, he gets the funniest line of the issue, and it’d be a shame for you to miss it. As for the art, Brendan is right: it’s merely passable.

Gamekeeper #1

Brendan: I don’t know how to feel about the “Director’s Cut” series from Virgin Comics. While it’s cool to see guys like John Woo and Guy Ritchie attached to these books, I don’t know how involved they are with the creation or execution of the book, other than a likelihood that they would be attached to any film that would follow the projects. Guy Ritchie’s Gamekeeper is an easy, fun action story. The art is standout, as Mukesh Singh’s tight pencil work and lush color selection make each page jump. While the story is good enough to finish reading, it lacks any original angle to make it more than forgettable. I liked the issue, but it seems like we’re going to see the same old story of a man with nothing to lose taking on all comers. I guess what this book proves to me is that you can have pretty artwork, and a story that keeps the pages turning, but that may not be enough. There needs to be a specific reason to tell the story in a comicbook, and this book seemed pretty much like the first act of every action film I’ve ever seen.

Adan: Andy Diggle can seemingly write any damn thing under the sun. Sci-fi action-adventure space romp? Read Adam Strange: Planet Heist. Spy thriller with a little crime-noir thrown in? Read The Losers. Futuristic Japanese fantasy? Read Silent Dragon. Supernatural horror with social conscience? Read Hellblazer. And now, the man will write an action-thriller in the vein of Guy Ritchie’s seminal British gang films. What’s not to like? The only thing I’m worried about is that perhaps these guys put everything in this first issue. It doesn’t just seem like the first act of an action film, it seems like everything but the climactic ending. I fear for possible pacing problems in the future.

Green Lantern #18

Brendan: I have yet to see art in Green Lantern that is really bad. From the launch with Carlos Pacheco, to Rebirth’s Van Sciver, Simone Bianchi, and the consistently stellar Ivan Reis, the bar has remained high. Thus, I was excited to see Daniel Acuna handling this issue, since while I skipped his Uncle Sam series, was only really exposed to his great JLA covers. I didn’t want to be disappointed, and yet I was. Johns’ continues to redefine GL’s rogues, this time taking on Star Sapphire. The Corps Green Lantern and Sinestro deal in fear, and so it seems that Sapphire’s emotional weapon of choice is desire. This is a simple enough leap that it fits in with this new Lantern mythos.

This issue was too short!! Three panels a page does not a comic make! I don’t know if Johns’ was padding this issue to stretch it to a two-parter, or Acuna just can’t pack a page, but either way it fell flat for me. I really like the look of Acuna, and he could end up being big, but comics need to be able to fit more into single issues.

A saving grace of this issue was the first installment of the Tales of the Sinestro Corps. Despotellis Spreads Fear is a story that takes its structure and intent from the Alan Moore classic Mogo Doesn’t Socialize, but is original enough to be more than a story swipe. I definitely look forward to learning more about those who spread fear throughout the universe.

Adan: I almost didn’t even care about the main story here because I also do not enjoy Acuna’s art. I kind of rushed through the main story (Carol flies, Jordan macks on Cowgirl, and the Star Sapphire shows up, whatever) to get to the back-up because that’s where it’s at, and oh man was I right. Despotellis is a fantastic character and if the other Sinestro Corps recruits are half as original or interesting, then these guys are going to fucking rock. I just need the main story to be good too so that I’m not paying three bucks for six pages worth of awesome, and sixteen pages worth of suck.

Texas Strangers #1

Brendan: Texas Strangers is a book that seems to try and do too many things. Blending genres, in this case Western and fantasy, is a great idea, but tricky in its execution. I will admit that the book lost me from the very first page, when it asked I read a text piece of exposition just to understand the world the book inhabits. This is a comic book, dammit, why tell me when you can show me the damn history! Have an elder tell the twin leads about the way the world got this way, or even break the fourth wall and have him explain it to us, and use some cool visual tricks to get the job done. Don’t take your audience for granted, especially if you are asking them to invest in a world not only one, but two degrees removed from their own. Instead, the book opens like a second chapter, assuming we already give a fuck about any of it. Also, it seemed as though this book was meant to be funny. Perhaps this was only my own preconceived notion, as it is made to seem like an all-ages book, and all-ages often means humor. Well, if you’re going to try and be funny, be funny. Don’t be brutally not funny. That isn’t funny at all. I ain’t laughing. The animation style art was fine, and I will admit it was cool seeing the juxtaposition of orcs and cowboys, but tricks wear thin. I would venture to say that this book could have read a lot better as a graphic novel length digest. If there was some space to explore how the world got the way it did, and even just a few laugh out loud moments, the book could have been saved. But it is most assuredly not worth waiting another month to find out what happens next.

Adan: Harsh, Coach. There isn’t going to be an explanation as to how the world “got this way” because the world’s always been like this. And this is a kids book, so there isn’t going to be some fancy-schmancy way of telling the audience why things are the way they are. I’m not saying kids are dumb or anything, but the simpler the better, you know? There’s no reason to waste an entire arc on exposition when you can just sum it up with a map and a small paragraph. Boom, you’re in. And all-ages does not mean funny, it merely means safe for kids, and there are precious few comics like that left in the world. This is safe for your kids and it’s a good, action-filled story full of magic and monsters, as well as cowboys and Indians, albeit Elven and Ogre-ish ones.

However, what’s up with making the Mexicans all evil and teaming them up with Orcs? What are you trying to say, Antony Johnston and Dan Evans III? We’re aggressive, are we? Our allies are barbaric, are they? I’m coming to your houses, breaking your TVs, and eating your microwave dinners. Call me aggressive and barbaric…

Unique #1

Brendan: Unique is probably a great read if you’re really into accounting. The first 25 pages will be great if you can’t leave the house in the morning without a steaming cup of coffee and a TPS report. Also, the art is consistent and it could even be said makes for good, clear storytelling. But this would require a good, clear story. And all of the sudden I’m out of nice things to say about Unique. Convoluted, wordy, and boring, this is the story of a confused dude who thinks he may be but probably isn’t crazy. And a word of advice, don’t leave the audience as confused and in the dark as your protagonist, they will likely stop caring. If you are really looking for a cool story about the space between us and parallel worlds, do yourself a favor and buy Borrowed Time by Oni. That one doesn’t suck.

Adan: Right on all counts. I was kind of digging this book, but then it got too convoluted, wordy, and boring. I clocked right around when the one guy (I don’t know who) starts explaining what parallel Earths are (see, Coach, this is what happens when you put your exposition in the actual story instead of a small paragraph on the inside front cover). You’re not doing anything for me, Platinum. Your ideas are pretty good, but your execution blows.

Wolverine #52

Brendan: Once again, I’ve been burned by Jeph Loeb. Wolverine #52 is a gorgeous piece of comic art. The aforementioned Simone Bianchi gets better with each issue he completes. Each page is constructed with care and ingenuity. His creative paneling manages to serve the story and avoid distraction. There is a ferocity to his characters that completely match not only Wolverine and Sabretooth, but also the surprise guest star.

And yet, the book lacks. Surprising no one, Loeb again overuses inner monologue captions to distract from the fact that nothing is happening. Actually, I always had issues with Wolverine’s constant monologuing; isn’t Logan the type of guy who thinks to himself very little, instead just acting and reacting? Isn’t that what makes him the best there is at what he does? I also wonder about the intent of this story and title. Isn’t there already an entire title dedicated to Wolverine’s origin? It was my understanding that Wolverine: Origins existed to explore the past life of the Canuck, and the “proper” title would push his adventures forward. Discounting the fact that the flashbacks in this book seem to have more in common with Bill Jemas’ Marville title than Paul Jenkins’ Origin, the most confusing point in the book came when Sabretooth finished a sentence that he began sometime in Wolverine’s flashback. Beautiful inkwashes and coloring aside, I give this a hearty “meh.”

Adan: It really says something that Brendan has to compare this book to three of the worst comics in recent memory: Origin, Marville, and Wolverine: Origins. This story is stupid and meandering and doesn’t make any goddamn sense, and oh yeah, is going nowhere. It’s been three issues and what exactly has happened? Wolverine had flashbacks and he and Sabretooth went on a plane ride. At least they weren’t in the Blackbird for four issues. That would have been excruciatingly worse. And what is it with these TV and film writers going to comics and not giving it their all? Heinberg’s Wonder Woman isn’t done, Loeb’s Wolverine blows, Lindelof’s Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk is stuck in some God-forsaken limbo, and “Hollywood” Frank Miller’s All Star Batman has been garbage since day one (although that 300 movie sure was fantastic). Bring your A-game or don’t show up at all.

And Others…

Adan: Did you all watch the Battlestar Galactica season finale? What the fuck!?

Hi, guys. Adan tells me I have some explaining to do. I was absent last week, and terribly late this week, and will be absent again next week for a combination of reasons that include incapacitating illness and ridiculous levels of business simultaneously. It’s also possible that some of my reviews this week are slightly phoned in. You’ll know which ones. Mea culpa, mea culpa. – Laura

Amazing Spider-Man #539

Laura: Maybe this is the stabbing pain behind my eye talking right now, but I kind of hope that Aunt May dies. She’s useless and boring and played out, and my only regret is that the abdomen wound wasn’t a head shot. Put her out of her misery, already. My greatest fear in all of this is that they’re going to tease us with her death, and then not actually give it to us. And no one likes a tease, Marvel.

Adan: If your elderly aunt gets shot through the abdomen with a sniper rifle, do you: a) call 911 and wait for the ambulance, b) try to staunch the bleeding while waiting for the ambulance you called, or c) pick up your frail, shot-up aunt and swing through the city to the nearest hospital and leave her unattended in a room, hoping someone heard you crash through the window (which I’m sure could not have negatively affected your aunt in the least). If you chose option C, then you are as retarded as Spider-Man. You aren’t supposed to move her, dumbass! What the hell is wrong with you? I know you’re on the run from the law, but for fuck’s sake, maybe prison isn’t such a bad thing if it means your aunt, the woman who raised you, has a better shot at living because you didn’t jostle the hell out of her insides, all the while she bled out on your shirt and pants, which are, of course, clean as a whistle (and what miracle cleaning agent is responsible for that? did he Shout it out?)

Army @ Love #1

Adan: I’m not sure if this is good or not. I can’t really fault the writing or the art (the art, in particular, is really quite good; Erksine’s inks especially), but something is definitely off. Maybe it really is too early to make fun of the war in Afghanistan? No, that can’t be it. Maybe the whole thing seems too implausible. Will the armed forces really need people that badly that they’ll allow grunts cell phones and bacchanalias? I guess if they’d instated a draft, the populace would have voted to get out that war right quick. I don’t know, I’m gonna have to give this a few more issues before I decide. One thing I will say of this book: there sure are a lot of titties.

Laura: Yeah, I feel like it might be too soon for the final word on this book. It’s certainly… different. Sure, there will be the calls of “too soon,” because it’s, you know, still happening. But nostalgia has been accelerating for a while now, and it was only a matter of time before it actually intersected with the present. And now, here we are.

Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser TP

Adan: Seven short stories set in the fictional city of Lankhmar, which Howard Chaykin calls a “slightly more fantastical Manhattan- or at least the city south of 14th Street, circa 1935.” Adapted from Fritz Leiber’s novels and short stories, Chaykin and Mike Mignola brought to comics two of the best fantasy characters ever: Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser. Two thieves roaming the world of Nehwon in search of adventure, women, and of course, money. If you like Conan, anything by Michael Moorcock, or hard-boiled crime fiction set in a fantasy world, you’ll not do better than this seminal work. And it’s a steal at $19.95. It even includes the beginning of Swords and Deviltry, a Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser novel that Dark Horse will be re-publishing in the near future. Pick this up; it’s fantastic.

Laura: I’ve seen a lot of people pick this up just because they saw Mike Mignola’s name on the cover. Whatever it takes to get you to pick this up is fine with me!

Ion #12

Laura: Wow, it’s moments like these when I feel pretty grateful that I don’t give a crap about Ion, because I don’t need to get upset about how freakin’ terrible an issue like this is. I’ll leave that to Adan. Adan?

Adan: Kyle stars in this extra special tale as he loses his mother to some crazy-ass sickness that no one seems to know what to do about. Man, I thought only Winick wrote the after-school specials. And that’s not the worst part, sitting through this melodramatic piece of garbage (of a series I was actively enjoying up until now); no, the worst part is that this twelfth part of a twelve-part series isn’t the end! Nothing gets explained at all. What does Grayven know? Why did Nero go all crazy? Why are the Monitors screwing with Kyle and Donna? What exactly did Kyle’s mom die from? None of these questions are answered. Instead, we’re told the story continues in the Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps Special that comes out sometime in the summer. Thanks for the heads up, DC. Jerks.

Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #16

Adan: Ah, the second best shoujo book in the world is out again (the first being the recently retired Love Roma; go buy it, it’s only five volumes!) and I’m sqealing like a twelve-year old girl who just saw Hanson for the first time (or a much older man who just saw BKV for the first time). MJ and Harry are back together, Gwen just dumped Peter, but Firestar heats things up when she visits Spider-Man. Oh, so many cute girls who might like you Pete. I wish the girls in my high school liked the nerdy kids that much. While I am saddened by Takeshi Miyazawa’s absence, I am intrigued by the new art provided by David Hahn. It’s not Miyazawa, but it still looks pretty damn good.

Laura: Ah, the trials and travails of young love. Right when Gwen breaks up with Peter because she found out he was in love with MJ, MJ gets back together with Harry. Oh noes! Peter and MJ, you’re so star-crossed. Will you EVER get together?

Walking Dead #36

Adan: As I’ve previously stated, I don’t really like this book anymore. I’m all burned out on zombies and the human cast of this book is starting bore the hell out of me (except Michonne, who showed me some real interesting things about herself in issue #33). That said, this issue wasn’t that bad. Exactly how long does it take civilization to stop acting civil and start killing each other for any little reason? Woodbury showed us it can happen damn quick, and be institutionalized even. It’s taking the Walking Dead (Kirkman’s term, not mine) slightly longer, but with what Michonne did in issue #33, and what Rick does this issue (not telling), they’ll get there soon enough. On the upside, Glenn asks Maggie to marry him, and those are some hilarious panels that are mixed in with just enough schmaltz to not make me roll my eyes.

Laura: I’m not sick of Walking Dead, because it’s a consistently awesome title about people. People who happen to be surrounded by zombies. In this issue, Rick starts to feel himself fall a little further out of the fabric of their makeshift society, while Glenn and Maggie do their part to weave a tiny little piece of it together. My only complaint is not enough Michonne, but her deep, dark subplot is still simmering in the background, and I’m sure it’ll bubble to the surface soon enough.

X-Factor #17

Laura: X-Factor, you are the best X-book on the shelves. Actually, you just one of the best books on the shelves, and this most recent arc where Jamie sets out to collect his lost dupes has been a knockout. For anyone who ever wondered what, or who, they might have been if they’d simply gone down a different path, here’s a man who’s actually done that. He’s gone down all the paths at once, and now he’s trying to put the pieces back together to actually be one man who makes one world and then lives in it. Peter David, you so good.

Adan: There was a time when I just purchased every X-book, no matter what. That was my thing, I was the X-guy. I knew everything about the mutants: who was on what team at any given point, who was stuck in limbo, who was dead, and who was resurrected. I still know all those things, but now I don’t buy them all. I only buy like three of them, and X-Factor is the best one, bar none. Madrox is still off looking for his dupes, and each one he meets is a great character study. And not just the dupe, but Jamie-Prime too. With each new interesting dupe that Jamie meets, Jamie himself gets more and more interesting. But, this is a team book, so let’s talk about the rest of team: Monet and Syrin beat up the French police (as if that’s a difficult thing) and take a French orphan with them, which is sure to have absolutely no ill effect in the future, while Rictor and Rahne do something monumentally stupid that immediately brings trouble down on ice cream-eating Guido and Layla. And that’s the team. Oh yeah, and Quicksilver shows up too.

Y the Last Man #55

Adan: The best comic book crossover of all time happens in this book, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not even joking and I ask that all commenters not ruin this excellent bit for anybody else. Just don’t mention it. Let everybody find it for themselves. You will not be disappointed. Now that that’s out of the way, it’s another awesome issue of Y by the most handsome man in comics. Hero, Ciba, Natalya, and Other-Beth (with Beth Jr. and Baby Vlad in tow) are closing in on Beth the First, but so are the Israelis. Yorick and 355 are nearing Paris, all while Yorick has some kind of existential crisis about the feasibility of his continued relationship with Beth (the first one) while having another one of his creepy dreams. Look, it’s great and I already know you’re going to go get it, so why are you still reading this?

Laura: I’m actually glad to see Yorick questioning his relationship with Beth. As he mentions in the book, they’ve now actually been apart for longer than they were ever together, and if that didn’t at least give him some pause I’d worry about the guy. I’m still rooting for True Love to Overcome All, but I’m glad the question has at least been raised. It’s the final arc, and as things start to creep towards the inevitable end, things are bound to get crazy.

Plus, there’s a shout out for Preacher fans that is not to be missed. Not to be missed, I said! Get on board, people! It’s all over soon!

Sorry for the delay folks, but I fell ill with a sickness that has mostly laid me out (it took me an hour and a half to crawl out of bed). Still, I strove to bring you this column by the end of Wednesday. I hope you can forgive me for being so weak. — Adan

1-800-MICE #1

Laura: A lot of drugs went into the making of this comic. The first realization comes in the totally high introduction, which advises people to talk to moss, and then makes a long, rambling comparison between tree bark and TV sitcoms. It also manages to misspell the words “homunculus,” “cell phone” and “niece.” I didn’t know what a coprolith was before reading this, though, so I guess it wasn’t a complete waste.

Take fewer drugs, ok?

Adan: Holy crap, what the hell? It’s like a David Lynch movie, only it doesn’t make as much sense. Which means it makes no sense at all. It’s possible that “talk to moss” and “feel up bark” are just code words for “smoke marijuana.”

Action Philosophers #8

Adan: Casting John Stuart Mill as Charlie Brown has divine inspiration written all over it, which is good because Immanuel Kant proved that God’s existence can neither be proved nor disproved in the strip prior to Mill’s in a “Law and Order” spoof. And then Kant’s successors Georg W.F. Hegel and Arthur Schopenhauer are spotlighted in the third strip. I enjoyed the first two strips a lot more than the third strip, which wasn’t presented as well as the first two. The philosophies of Kant and Mill made a lot more sense than the philosophies of Hegel or Schopenhauer, but maybe that’s just me. This is still a great book and you should all be reading it. It’s philosophically awesome!

Laura: Seconded. The Charlie Brown strip was pretty inspired, and overall this was one of the more accessible issues in the series. I also had the pleasure of meeting the creators at NYCC, and they were fine fellows indeed.

Black Panther #25

Laura: It’s always a toss up with Black Panther. What will I dislike more, the terrible writing, or the borderline insulting content? This week is yet another tough call. Highlights: Sue Storm attacks Clor, announcing like an anime heroine that “you’re my husband’s abomination… and I’m here to abort you!” Storm and Clor go tete-a-tete, and for a moment you think it’s gonna be awesome, but then Hercules cuts in on two of the most powerful women in the Marvel Universe, saying, “I shall take it from here, fair maidens.” And then Invisible Woman and Storm stand on the sidelines in the middle of the climactic battle of the Civil War and cheer him. Yeah.

Then at the end, a TV announcer reports that “the streets of New York were as violent as the fields of Gettysburg.” Seriously? The battle where 50,000 people died? This is just like that? This week’s Front Line helpfully informs us that only 53 people died in the superhero showdown, just for a sense of exactly how ridiculous we’re getting. Whatever. It’s hard to care too much, given that I don’t take this book seriously on any level.

Adan: Laura hits all the major points, but here’s my biggest problem: after Clor wrecks the Wakandan Embassy, Iron Man asks, “Could that be considered an act of war?” The Panther’s response: “That could be considered an act of war.” Really? How about foreign heads of state actively helping American criminals commit acts of terrorism? Could that be considered an act of war? Leaving my personal feelings entirely out of this, the law states super-powered individuals would register, or be considered criminals. When these unregistered super-powered individuals were captured, they were put in prison. Breaking them out of prison is an act of terrorism, especially if explosions are involved. Captain America is a homegrown terrorist and Black Panther is a foreign terrorist, but they are terrorists just the same. Also note that depending on what side you fall, terrorist means the same thing as rebel, which means the same thing as freedom fighter. It all depends on which side of the coin you fall on and which connotation you want to give your subject. For the purposes of what can be considered an act of war, Black Panther is very much a terrorist, and the United States should invade Wakanda in order to dethrone a regime that supports terrorism, much like the United States invaded Afghanistan when the Taliban’s ties to al-Qaeda were discovered. But this will never happen because in the Marvel Universe, actions don’t seem to have repercussions.

Civil War: Frontline #11

Laura: Laura: In this issue, we learn that Ben Urich and Sally Floyd are the worst reporters in the world, that Captain America’s quitter logic makes no more sense in his own head than it does to anyone else, and that Tony Stark is an even bigger crybaby than Steve Rogers. It’s all just bad and nonsensical just like the rest of this series right now, but it actually gets so marvelously stupid at one point that it rounds the corner to “funny-bad.”

Sally Floyd is interviewing Captain America in jail, asking “tough questions” about his involvement in the Civil War. In her mind, this means asking him whether he knows what Myspace is and who won the last American Idol, and when he doesn’t know the answer she starts shouting that he knows “nothing about America!” You heard it in Front Line first, folks. If you don’t watch YouTube videos, you’re not a real patriot.

Adan: Floyd and Urich are awful, awful reporters. They have the story of the century and they don’t report it because… actually, I don’t know why, but I have my guesses. Tony Stark almost starts a war with Atlantis (which is totally started by the Atlanteans’ invasion of the surface world in Civil War #7), and Urich and Floyd know it’s true. They have evidence to back them up and everything. But a story more preposterous than FDR knowing about the attack on Pearl Harbor and letting it happen anyway can’t just be told; the American people are too stupid. We’d just make informed decisions based on this information and put Tony Stark in that fancy jail of his.

Have I mentioned how much I hate this entire storyline? ‘Cause I do. A lot.

Daredevil #94

Laura: Poor Milla Donovan. Her relationship with Matt Murdock has been a rocky ride, but she’s back now for one more round. And as glad as she is to have him back in one piece, she’s starting to remember how much it sucks to be the girlfriend of a superhero, to love someone as vulnerable as is he powerful. And even worse to feel helpless about it all, especially when you’ve spent your whole life trying not to feel helpless. Between competing with his secret identity and the memory of Karen Page, Milla doesn’t have a lot of energy left, but she usually spends it worrying whether or not he’s going to die every time he goes out to fight crime. This issue is her story, and it’s a pretty sad one.

Adan: Is it awful that I don’t care? If Milla were a better character, I might care about her and her place in Daredevil’s world, but I simply don’t. Right now, I see her as an impediment to good Daredevil stories. I may yet be proven wrong, but if this issue is an indiciation of things to come, I could do without Milla Donovan. Although that last scene was rather poignant.

Laura: On the plus side, we get an retrotacular John Romita Sr. cover! Oh, how I long for the day when people remember that dialogue balloons and thought bubbles make comic book covers 100% more interesting.

Doctor Strange: The Oath #5

Adan: The good Doctor has a very important decision to make at the end of this issue, and it’s not whether to save Wong or save the world with the cure-all that is Otkid’s Elixir (aka the MacGuffin). It’s whether or not the Night Nurse’s outfit is kinky enough for his tastes. Bow-chicka-bow-wow, indeed. There’s also something in here about Wong’s cancer and Nicodemus’ assholishness, but the real star of this Dr. Strange mini-series is the Night Nurse. She’s bad-ass, and I hope she stays for a long time to come.

Laura: Finally, a force of evil we can all get behind hating: pharmaceutical companies! Yes, it’s difficult decision time as Dr. Strange weighs the greater good against the life of someone he loves, and he spends a lot of time wringing his abnormally long-fingered hands about it. It’s a pleasing finish to a nice little mini-series, and probably the best BKV book this week.

Also if we can not do the medical fetish thing that would be cool.

Runaways #24

Adan: This is it, BKV’s last issue of Runaways ever (more on him later on). Does Chase sacrifice himself for his love of Gert? Will the other kids show up in time to save him? Well, I obviously know what happens (and you do too, if you’ve seen PCS’ preview of issue #25… whoops), but that’s not importnat here. The most handsome man in comics is ending his run on a title he helped create and I’m sad. No, I don’t think Whedon will be able to write this book as well as BKV has. These were his babies, after all. This is issue was very good, but it was bittersweet.

Laura: This book was… so-so, but yes, bittersweet. The few problems I’ve had with the book throughout its run seems especially prominent here, namely that I don’t always buy Molly’s dialogue, and that sometimes Vaughan forces jokes in serious situations (e.g. the “stoners in donut shops” crack) that just don’t seem to carry. But this is all minor, all bygones, and I hesitate to bring them up at all because it’s been a wonderful, wonderful run, and I’m sad to see it end. Given Whedon’s recent performance on Astonishing, I hope he’s ready to step up and bring his A-game, because this book and these characters deserve it.

Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes #27

Adan: The Legion and the Wanderers attempt to quell a Dominator invasion of Earth, but that’s not so important. At the back of the book, Mark Waid, Kalman Andrasofszky, Barry Kitson, Jim Shooter, and Paul Levitz give a very classy send-off to a man who made sure the Legion of Super-Heroes would be around for generations to come: Dave Cockrum. They state how important Cockrum was in bringing the heroes back from the brink of cancellation and obscurity, and how snazzy those new costumes that he designed were. We’ll miss his gentle laugh, too.

Laura: Yeah, I don’t really want to talk about Supergirl (who didn’t even show up in the book) because it wasn’t a worthwhile issue, and regardless, Dave Cockrum is exponentially more important than whatever stupid thing happens in space this month. Buy the book, rip out the tribute, and throw the rest away for all I care, but give the man his due. David Cockrum, you are missed.

And Others…

Adan: Norwegian cartoonist Jason’s latest translated work The Living and the Dead doesn’t technically come out until next week (if your store goes direct with Fantagraphics, then you have it now), but I can’t stop talking about how awesome Jason is. Every single one of his shorts have been funny, poignant, and interesting, and this zombie-romance-comedy is no different. If you haven’t already, give Jason a shot; you’ll thank me later.

Also out this week is Love Roma v5, the last volume! Oh nos! Love Roma is good, that it pains me to see it end. We talked about the previous volume and told you guys how awesome it was. Go grab all five volumes and laugh and cry alongside Negishi-san and Hoshino-kun as their relationship grows and grows.

And apropos of almost nothing, I went to Comic-Con this last weekend! Yay!

As you can see, I met up with the most handsome man in comics. I told him so, and he said I had “weird taste.” He then said I was the most handsome man at PCS (take that, Jon!). That weird look on my face is because I’m so excited.

And here we have B-Wood’s absence. Maybe he heard I was coming? And what’s that next to his name plate? A copy of Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book that I totally didn’t plant?* Maybe Mr. Wood had to cancel his appearance on Sunday because he had a Comintern meeting to attend, hurm?**

And thank you, dear lady, for reminding me that the Baroness was the sexiest Cobra agent ever. That’s right, Destro, you and your shiny Scottish head have nothing on Eastern European faux royalty.

Laura: This month’s issue of X-Factor rules particularly hard, as Jamie continues his quest to reabsorb his lost dupes and finally be a whole person again. As he collects them from all the lives he could have lived, he finds that some of them have become fully realized, utterly distinct people–and that maybe they don’t belong to him anymore. Which is always sort of the way, with the paths and the people we don’t choose–all the “could-have-beens.” God, I can’t get enough of this series. A month seems like an eternity to wait for the next one, and when was the last time I felt that way?

*Adan totally planted it.
**In all seriousness, we hope nothing is wrong and his absence on Sunday was due to just plain tiredness or being hung over from partying so hard.