Year: 2009
Running Time: 107 Minutes
Rated: R
SRP: $ 39.99
Studio(s): 20th Century Fox
Release Date: January 3, 2010
Film/Feature: C
Jennifer’s Body doesn’t aim much higher than a B-movie throwback, but unfortunately doesn’t get out of the C-class of mediocre shlock. It is written by Diablo Cody who arrived on the scene and won an Oscar for the sharp-witted indie drama, Juno (2007) and is directed by Karyn Kusama who earned her own accolades with Girlfight (2000). So Jennifer’s Body gets the unique opportunity of being a horror film that’s driven creatively by two women. What was the most terrifying thing they could come up with? High school girl-on-girl hate–something that can be truly terrifying, and can reach incredulous levels of cattiness, but doesn’t pay off as one would hope.
The setting is Devil’s Kettle High School and Jennifer Check (Megan Fox) and Anita “Needy” Lesnicki (Amanda Seyfried) are childhood friends who grow up to be BFFs (Best Friends Forever) but realize that they may have outgrown their bond. Jennifer keeps her around because her good looks allow her to stand out even more against Needy’s frumpy Ugly Betty syndrome. Needy has a stable and faithful boyfriend, Chip (Johnnie Simmons) who struggles with her timeshare away from Jennifer. One night, Needy is dragged out by Jennifer to see a band called Low Shoulder at the nearby Melody Lane tavern. The girls are separated after a fire brings down the bar. Jennifer goes with the band, led by front man Nikolai (Adam Brody) leaving Needy to drive home alone. The band mates intentions are not good, and it’s not what you think. Trying to ensure they hit it big, Low Shoulder wants to sacrifice Jennifer because they think she’s a virgin. And this is where the wheels come off the tricycle.
A lot of thoughts ran through my mind as I watched Leap Year; “I wonder how far the contractors have gotten on remodeling our kitchen”, “I need to remember to shave my head tomorrow”, “Shit, I’m outta doughnuts!”, “This movie isn’t over yet?!?” To say the film was tedious would be a compliment (and surprising, given its scant 90-minute runtime). In the tradition of romantic comedies involving women who start out as neurotic control freaks, only to be forced out of their comfort zones to find true love with scruffy, laidback men, Leap Year doesn’t miss a beat, playing every possible cliché of the genre note for excruciating note. In the film, upscale apartment stager Anna (Amy Adams) can’t get over that fact that her boyfriend Jeremy (Adam Scott) has yet to propose marriage, having been together the last four years. It’s an understandable frustration that ultimately leads Anna to take the advice of her father to follow Jeremy to a medical conference he’s attending in Dublin, Ireland. Apparently there’s a tradition in Ireland that a woman can propose to a man on February 29th of a Leap Year, and Anna is at her wits’ end. Facing every hurdle imaginable just to get to Ireland, she’s forced to enlist the aid of a rough and rugged innkeeper named Declan (Matthew Goode) to take her the rest of the way, resulting in a series of misadventures that forces them towards an inevitable mutual attraction.
Getting past a concept that paints Anna with a large brushstroke of crazed desperation, one of the film’s many problems is that it repeatedly betrays the few bright ideas it has. It’s great that there’s some effort, late in the second act, to humanize Anna with a backstory of struggle and perseverance in response to having to deal with an irresponsible father, but it’s not terribly believable when everything preceding this presents Anna as cartoonishly prissy and naïve of the non-upper class world, utterly incapable of dealing with even the most trivial of obstacles on her quest (her attempt to plug in the charger for her Blackberry results in the destruction of a hotel room, and knocking out the power across an entire village). This leaves one to wonder why she would even listen to her father about the Leap Year proposal anyway, given her unresolved issues with him. Furthermore, the film’s supporting cast is beyond weak. The best romantic comedies are the ones that don’t rely solely on its two leads to carry the entire film, but there’s so much wasted potential to be found in Leap Year. John Lithgow’s time on-screen is all too brief as Anna’s father, and aside from a few charming anecdotes, the Irish town folk Anna and Declan encounter on their travels are just kind of . . . there. Making use of a few recognizable English/Irish comedic actors would have helped immensely. Especially considering how woefully unfunny the film is in general. You can thank Murphy’s Law for that, as everything that can possibly go wrong does, and we can see it all coming a mile away; an encounter with a herd of cows predictably results in Anna stepping in a pile of said animals’ feces, whilst wearing impractical, ridiculously expensive shoes. Rather than sit on a bench for over two hours while waiting for a train to Dublin, Anna and Declan trek up a nearby hill to visit a castle. How much you want to bet they lose track of time and miss the train?! (hint: It’s such a sure bet, you could wager your first born child) Prudish innkeepers force the pair to pretend they’re married, and the room ONLY HAS ONE BED!!!
It’s amazing how often Leap Year takes the few things it comes close to doing right, only to backslide into a mud puddle of mediocrity time and time again. Amy Adams and Matthew Goode have a fair amount of chemistry, but they spend most of the film trudging though a story on auto-pilot, almost completely devoid of wit or genuine heart, and honestly a bit insulting.
Final Verdict: D+
There are few simple truths in this world, and Youth In Revolt illustrates one of them: movies about awkward teens doing whatever it takes to get laid will never go out of style. It’s one of the most relatable aspects of anyone’s formative years, and is always rife with frustration, thus making it fertile ground for just about any teen comedy. As Nick Twisp, Michael Cera is as awkward as can be, while on the lamb at a trailer park with his mother and her deadbeat boyfriend (Jean Smart and Zack Galifianakis, respectively). When he meets the seemingly angelic Sheeni Saunders, Nick is convinced that he’s met the girl of his dreams. Bonding over their love of French cinema and Frank Sinatra, the two have a summer romance that’s all too brief for Nick. Upon returning home, he creates a “supplementary persona” by the name of Francois Dillinger (arguably, one of the best alter ego names EVER!), and sets in motion a chain of events that he hopes will lead him back to the love of his life.
To its credit, Youth In Revolt is a step, albeit a small one, towards Michael Cera showing filmgoers that he’s capable of more than what we’ve seen from him in other roles. Even if Francois Dillinger is treated like an idea more than a real character, it does serve as a chance for Cera to break out of his nerdy hipster shell. It’s fun to watch him lose himself in the audacity of Nick’s alter ego, playing him as the charming, self-assured sociopath that he is. The film also benefits from an inspired supporting cast that includes Zack Galifianakis, Ray Liotta, the always on-point Fred Willard, and Justin Long.
As hilarious as Youth In Revolt is, however, it’s also surprisingly frustrating. The film is funny in spite of itself, rather than offering a cohesive and engaging story to balance the comedy. There is the illusion of a narrative structure that isn’t really there, as we go from one scene to the next without any real connective tissue. Everything happens for the sake of happening; Nick schemes to get his father (Steve Buscemi) to move to where Sheeni lives, in anticipation of his mother sending him there, as she’s totally incapable of dealing with his actions as Francois. When the plan backfires, upon discovering that Sheeni is sent to private school, Nick immediately befriends someone fortuatously willing to play chauffeur so he can see her, leading to your typical “boys in the girls’ dorm overnight” hijinks. There’s also the appearance of Sheeni’s stoner older brother Paul (The aforementioned Justin Long). Like the rest of the film, the character does provide a great deal of comedy, but without serving any other purpose.
Even more frustrating is the fact that Nick’s conscious decision to essentially suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, is spurred on by a girl who is little more than a tiresome chastity cliché. Despite Sheeni liking Nick just the way he is from jump, for whatever reason, she needs him to “be bad”, so they can truly be together! It’s difficult to connect with her, and thus understand Nick’s affections for her, when so many things about her scream “manipulative cocktease”.
Make no mistake, Youth In Revolt is not without its strengths; in addition to Michael Cera finally showing signs of growth, the entire cast is spot-on, the dialogue is clever without ever sounding pretentious, and the humor is smarter than most teen comedies. But this is the kind of teen comedy that could have benefited from a more constructed narrative and more practical character development.
Final Verdict: B-
Year: 2009
Running Time: 95 Minutes
Rated: PG-13
SRP: $39.99
Studio(s): Fox Searchlight Pictures
Release Date: December 22, 2009
Film/Feature: B+
Ladies, excuse me for a second while I ask the men out there a question. Hey guys, have you ever been in love or thought you’ve been in love with someone who just crushes your heart? Then you just can’t seem to get over them? Ever have these great expectations of what that relationship was and then come to grips with the very different reality of the situation? (500) Days of Summer is that remedy you need to help get that girl out of your system.
Year: 2009
Running Time: 91 minutes
Rated: R
SRP: $ 39.99
Studio(s): Miramax Studios
Release Date: December 22, 2009
Film/Feature: C+
Mike Judge is one of those few creators who understands what makes people laugh in both animation, and live action. A good comedic mind would tell you that it doesn’t matter what the format is, and they’re right, but it’s rare to be able to toe that line and do it as successfully as Judge. He’s given us Beavis and Butthead, King of the Hill, and to many of you out there, he’s simply known as the man behind Office Space. It the latter’s more of your taste, then perhaps you might want to see how Judge’s cubicle dynamics go from the corporate buzzkill to the assembly line at Reynold’s Almond Extract.
Joel (Jason Bateman) is sexually frustrated CEO of a small extract company piddling about his routine life until he runs into the worst month of his life. A freak accident threatens to destroy the company and a two-bit scam artist (Mila Kunis) is pulling the strings. If only he could make it home before 8pm. After the clock strikes eight, his wife (Kristin Wiig) puts on the sweat pants and the chance of him getting lucky goes out the door. His best friend Dean (Ben Affleck), a bartender and Xanax pusher, comes up with a wild and elaborate plan to rid him of all of his troubles; except that Dean and plan should never be used in the same sentence.
Year: 2009
Running Time: 300 minutes
Rated: G
SRP: $ 29.98
Studio(s): 20th Century Fox
Release Date: December 1, 2009
Film/Feature: A–
Working in scientific research, is not as glamourous as other high profile careers. I come to that conclusion based on how many movies and television shows have been based on science and research… yeah, it’s tough to come up with one–until now.
Better Off Ted is about the inner-workings of global think tank, Veridian Dynamics, a research and development company in the dozens of fields including innovative industrial products, biomedicine, cryogenics as well as, defense technology. They come up with innovations such as biocomputers, exploding pumpkins, cow-less beef, and hair-growth remedies. This particular division of Veridian is headed by Veronica Palmer (Portia De Rossi) and in charge of research is Ted Crisp (Jay Harrington). Ted talks directly to the camera and is our main entry point to the company. He’s a confident, organized, corporate stiff who’s wife ran out on him and their daughter, Rose (Isabella Acres) who keeps her father in check.
Reporting directly to Ted are Head Scientists Phil Myman (Jonathan Slavin) Lem Hewitt (Malcolm Barrett), who are kept in the basement away from corporate but are always involved in the episode as they have to update the uppers of their progress, present in front of the board, and some of their experiments make their way up the building. Linda Zwordling (Andrea Anders) also reports to Ted. She works in the Testing, is the company idealist, flirts with Ted, and looks to violate company policies in protest of the anti-autonomous corporate culture.
De Rossi plays what she does best, and that’s playing a cold, heartless bitch. Borrowing familiar notes from her character in Arrested Development, De Rossi embodies corporate management perfectly lacking any sensitivity, looking for ways to cost-cut, and living the coda of ‘company first, employees last.’ She carries out mandates by her superiors and throws enough bones and scrap meat to the employees to keep them satisfied that they have a job.
It’s not comedy because it’s made up, folks.
Year: 2008
Running Time: 103 Minutes
Rated: R
SRP: $ 26.98
Studio(s): Magnolia Pictures
Release Date: October 6, 2009
Film/Feature: A+
Cult Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino is quoted in the film,
“Nobody shoots a car, the way Aussies do. They manage to shoot cars with this fetishistic lens that makes you want to jerk off!”
Attention: Genre Film Fans, never has there been a bigger collection of jaw-dropping stunts, outrageous gore, and gratuitous tit shots in one sitting than in Not Quite Hollywood. You may be found sitting with your mouth gaping open, because there are that many “Holy Shit!” moments. Like the films celebrated, this documentary isn’t a boring sedative, it’s an exciting romp through cinema’s wildest step child, Australian genre films. It’s fast-paced, filled with unbelievable clips like Nicole Kidman as a BMX biker (wait, what?), and eye-gaping interviews with legendary actor/stuntman Grant Page, or seeing Aussie director John D. Lamond talking casually on a couch, while at a strip club. 80 different interview subjects of Australian, American and British directors, actors, screenwriters, producers and critics including Quentin Tarantino, Stacy Keach, John Seale, George Lazenby, George Miller, Barry Humphries, Roger Ward, Dennis Hopper, Jamie Lee Curtis, Brian Trenchard-Smith and dozens more, tell-all in this history lesson of Australian genre B-movies.
Year: 2005-2007
Running Time: Approx 22 Hours
Rated: Not Rated
SRP: $139.99
Studio(s): HBO Films with BBC Studios
Release Date: November 17, 2009
Film/Feature: A+
HBO and BBC united as one force in creating a two-season dramatization of the Ancient Roman Empire that was done so well, that no one should be able to touch this material for decades. There’s no use for it, because this is as perfect as one could ever dream of Ancient Rome.
Over two seasons, Rome showed the rise of Julius Caesar, from general to emperor to his death on the senate floor; and that was just the end of the first season. The second season would shift towards Caesar’s heir, Augustus Octavian and the rise of the triumvirate as well as its tumble to where her son would put his family through Hades to become emperor supreme. But rather than some straight re-enactment of what the history books showed, series co-creators Bruno Heller Jonathan Stamp anchored the entire series on two centurion soldiers, the only two to be mentioned in Caesar’s war journals: the stern and stable Lucius Vorenus (Kevin McKidd-Trainspotting) and the bawdy and blood-lusty Titus Pullo (Ray Stevenson-Punisher War Zone). There was little known about these soldiers and that made it fertile ground from which the series could build its foundation on.
Year: 1996
Running Time: 113 Minutes
Rated: R
SRP: $39.99 Single release or $89.99 Kevin Smith 3-Pack
Studio(s): Miramax
Release Date: November 17, 2009
Film/Feature: A+
It’s not who you love, it’s how you love.
After taking an amusing detour in Mallrats, Smith got back to basics and made a personal film. Not in the traditional sense. Not with Meg Ryan or not like some cookie-cutter Kate Hudson film. Smith had one more chance to do a successful film or else be forgotten in the pile of directors that could have been big. (For the record, Kevin, I liked Mallrats) His goal was to make the movie Dogma, but before doing that, he had to get back on his feet, after being soundly defeated at the box office with Mallrats. Somehow, he crafted a story born out of his real relationship at the time with actress, Joey Lauren Adams and came up with Chasing Amy. Now, none of the actual events in the movie really happened in Smith and Adams’ life, but the film served as a metaphor for the crossroads that many relationships can’t seem to build a bridge over.
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