Greetings American Blog Jerks,

I, Norman Osborn, am your hero from the great Skrull Invasion and as the Iron Patriot, the leader of America’s superteam, The Avengers. I removed the coward Tony Stark from S.H.I.E.L.D. and created H.A.M.M.E.R., a far superior peacekeeping force. I am constantly liasing (liasoning?…Fix later, after secret meeting with New Dark Avengers Cabal Force: The Initiative))… I am constantly meeting with different superheroes, so many that it would seem impossible for me to fit it all in. But I do. Suck it.

What I’m trying to say here is that, with all I’m doing, I rarely have time to relax, turn off my intimidating hair color image inducer and tell it like it is. So I’m starting this blog… a Dark Blog. In this case Dark means evil not the absence of light. Periodically, I’ll be posting random thoughts, tidbits, pics, secrets, schemes and other whatnots that run across my mind that I don’t feel like cackling at Spider-Man from atop a Goblin Glider. Here’s some stuff I’ve been dying to get off my chest:

– The Avengers are actually an evil team of Dark Avengers that I plan on using to really fuck shit up. Don’t tell anybody.

– Man, anybody else think female Loki is hot. Check out this picture she gave me:

Is it weird that she used to be a guy? It’s magical though, not surgical so… it’s fine… right?

- Anybody else stressed about the economy? The Evil NASDAQ has been all over the place in the past sixth months, and I planned on retiring on my A.I.M stock, but they it turns out most of their “Advanced Ideas” were mortgage backed securities… assholes.

- Big admission: I never had sex with Gwen Stacy in France. I was just pulling this wicked prank on Spider-Man and it got out of hand. Serves you right for believing it though. Me and Gwen Stacy?! That’s crazy! And way too convenient! In a couple years, I bet we’ll all have forgotten all about it.

- I bumped into Wolverine at the gym (Wicked raquetball player, doesn’t wear a towel in the steam room: gossip!) and he is looking old. Healing factor or not, he’s too busy: quit a team! Or at least stop driving back and forth across the country on your motorcycle having a series of heroic, one-shot adventures.

Oh drat. I’ve got to get to a meeting with President Obama and MODOK, one of those two guys is extremely charismatic! See you guys soon! Stay Evil!

-Normo
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