Greetings males 18-35,

Sigh. I miss the good old days. Back when being evil didn’t mean sitting at a desk signing papers all afternoon. It’s summer! I want to get outside! I spent all of Memorial day weekend trying to get the smell of apple pucker out of the Iron Patriot armor! (Man, Tony Stark loved him some girly drinks!) Is that any way to spend your free time?

Back in the day, I used to run my company, clock out at five, take a spin on the old Goblin sled, have a cackle over some pumpkin bombs, get sushi, watch Scrubs and then grab some shut-eye. It was great! Now I’m chained to the conference room talking to cabal after cabal. I’ve gained 15 pounds! The evil fifteen!

On top of that, NO ONE is responding to my e-Harmony profile! I got one response from some weird Hydra e-mail but I think it’s a prank…Classic Nick Fury prank.

I’m a good get, right? I think I have a weird laugh… You know who I would be good with? Silver Sable. Remember her? She was hot. I have one of her Marvel Masterpiece card here somewhere…

That’s the girl. What’s she up to now? She used to run a country, you know. Plus, she was pretty tight with Sandman so she’s definitely got a thing for oddly striped hair…

He’s like a rugged me… I’m better looking than him though, right?

Sigh.

-Normo

Wait, Scrubs is cancelled?!