As if the tights-and-capes crowd needed any more ammution for their war against manga…

Intrepid blogger and cartoonist Andre Richards reports that Avril Lavigne will be giving Courtney Love a run for her money on the manga front. Yes, America’s favorite sk8rgrl will be teaming up with Del Rey to produce Avril Lavigne’s Make 5 Wishes. To which my inner curmudgeon says: oh, HELLZ no.

Don’t get me wrong—I love the idea that Del Rey is getting into the OEL game. Kuro Gane and xxxHolic are two of my favorite series on the market right now, and I’m eagerly anticipating Kitchen Princess, Mushishi, Princess Resurrection, and Le Chevalier D’Eon. Why? Because Del Rey produces the kind of manga that serious fans appreciate, with smart-looking covers, gorgeous color pages, snappy translations, and thoughtful cultural notes. Which begs the question: why didn’t Del Rey aim a little higher when venturing into OEL?

It seems to me that the publisher to emulate is Tokyopop. Their best OEL offerings—Sorcerers & Secretaries, 12 Days, The Dreaming, The Abandoned, Afterlife—are well-crafted, entertaining, and, for my money, as good as any licensed series on the market. Instead, Del Rey seems to be aiming for the less appealing part of Tokyopop’s OEL catalog: The Lizzie McGuire Cine-Manga.

If Del Rey wants to silence skeptics like me, I have a suggestion: hire artist Camilla D’Errico to do a series sans Miss Lavigne. D’Errico is a terrific illustrator, capable of creating characters that would do Maurice Sendak or Hayo Miyazaki proud. Team her up with a good writer, and you might have something magic. Team her up with Avril Lavigne… well, you’ll have a lovely-looking book documenting the romantic tribulations of a skate rat-cum-rock god and the snobby ballerina-cum-housewife who rejected him.

POSTSCRIPT: Heidi MacDonald at The Beat just posted the full text of Del Rey’s press release announcing this title. The premise is worse than I’d feared:

In volume one of MAKE 5 WISHES, introverted teenager Hana stumbles upon a website that will change her life forever. After a demon grants her a series of wishes that go bad, Hana meets her hero Avril Lavigne, who helps her find the courage to conquer her own personal demons once and for all.

Please, someone stop the madness NOW.