Hey kids! Here’s a note to let you in on our brand new “And Others…” section. At the end of the main column, there may be a few more notes on other books that we didn’t cover. You see, we pick the books we want to talk about before we ever actually see them, so that Jon has enough time to scan things he needs to scan. Occasionally, we read books besides the ones we picked and then kick ourselves for not picking a certain book. So now, there’s gonna be no more kicking. Instead, we’ll just talk about the book down below. Since they are basically last minute additions, there probably won’t be any scans associated with the book, and we may not both have something to say on each book. I can also guarantee that it won’t appear every week. But I thought I’d let you know what that was down there. More importantly, if you care about Wolverine: Origins spoilers at all, read it before you read the column. There you go, enjoy.

Cryptics #2

Adan: This is a pretty cute and funny. It’s a couple of short stories with the Universal Monsters as kids. You got Drac, Wolfy, Sea-boy, Jackie and Hyde, and even Vinny Helsing and they’re doing kid things like playing football, going to the ice cream parlor, meeting kitty cats, and saving your friends from Limbo. You know, the normal stuff you used to do when you were a kid. I’m not usually a fan of Steve Niles, but this is good. Pick up the first issue while you’re at it. It might be funnier and it shouldn’t be that hard to find.

Laura: Wow. I wasn’t expecting this to be anything special, but it charmed the pants off me. In this issue, the motley crew of mini-monster buddies venture into the afterworld after Wolfy, who was mistakenly sent to limbo by mini-Grim Reapers that look like calaca figures. The art and the writing are perfectly matched, and they even manage to write children well (albeit monster children), which is rare in comics. It’s got a smart, silly sense of humor that’s right up my alley, and I can’t remember the last time I read something that felt this fresh. More than than anything else this book is lots and lots of fun, which I think is why we read comics so you should probably buy it.

Green Arrow #70

Adan: This is not entirely crappy for only two reasons. One: instead of the customary hero meet, fight, team-up that normally occurs in team-ups, we get a villain meet, fight, team-up. And villains fight harder. Very rarely do heroes throw grenades in each others’ faces, no matter what the misunderstanding, like the Red Hood does to Brick. Two: the two henchmen who talk about what a Native American should be referred to. It’s actually pretty funny.

Laura: For a book called Green Arrow, this contains surprisingly little Green Arrow. Instead, it contains plenty of mediocrity. Red Hood and Brick fight, and then team up. Urge to care fading… fading… gone.

Phonogram #4

Laura: The extended metaphor of music as magic goes full-blown in the this issue, as Phonomancer David Kohl ventures into the Memory Kingdom, a.k.a. his past. The time has come to confront the spirits there, and finally pay his respects to the body of Britannia, fallen goddess of his beloved Britpop. Is it pretentious? Oohh, yeah. But choke it down anyway, because there’s a delicious center inside this seemingly unbearable hipster shell. Kohl finds himself back in a dream realm of the 90s, which is chock full of satire, nostalgia, and of course, mistakes. “Memories—the only thing that always hurt,” says one character, and sure enough, walking through the graveyard of his former faith manages to wipe some of the smarm off his face. There’s a particular poignance to trying on a piece of the past—something you loved, or something you were–and finding it doesn’t fit anymore. “I could have done anything,” he says, staring around his former stomping grounds. “I chose this.” It doesn’t feel the same anymore, and probably never will again, but at one time it mattered more than anything in the world. Suddenly, his caustic quips shift almost unvoluntarily into sincerity, and that’s when you realize his heart is broken. He sounds like a man talking about a lost love he can’t let go of, and that’s because he is.

In other news, the next issue apparently features Kohl making out with himself, because that is the secret dream of every metrosexual narcissist, and probably the only way he can move on.

Adan: Well, somebody seems to be very in love with this book. I’m still diggin it, but not as much as the first three. This one seems a little too into itself, not unlike Kohl himself, I guess. Hmm, maybe that’s the point of this issue… Okay, just now, my like for this book jumped a little. I kind of wish I knew more about British rock and pop because I think I’d like to write an essay on this book when it’s done. Unfortunately, I don’t, so I won’t.

Laura: Of course I’m in love with it! You know how much I adore charismatic assholes. And excellence. Both of which this book has in spades. Also, for those of you who aren’t as well-versed in Britpop as Kieron Gillen, there is a helpful index at the back to explicate the musical references and homages.

Pirates vs. Ninjas #1

Laura: This series sets out to answer the question that has plagued mankind since time immemorial: who would win in a fight, pirates or ninjas? Usually I would say the answer is clearly ninjas, but these aren’t just your run-of-the-mill pirates. They have mystical sea powers, as well as a ancient map to a secret treasure the ninjas are determined to claim. This means, of course, that ninjas and pirates must do battle. And battle they do. The pirate/ninja fight scenes are everything you hope they’ll be, and for bonus points you even get a decent story. Immense caverns shaped like skulls! Foul-mouthed parrots! Krakens! Hang-gliding ninjas firing dragon cannons! This book has it all. I have also now said the word “ninja” so many times it has lost all meaning to me. NINJA!

Adan: Yeah, I’m sold. Sneaky ninjas with stars and daggers versus hearty pirates with cannons and swords. I’m there like eight times in a row. There’s even a t-shirt which I’m totally getting. My only beef (and further proof that I’m a huge NEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRDDDDD!) is one of geography: while the pirates clearly state they are in the South Pacific Seas before the fight, the ninjas are safely ensconced in their mountain hideaway after the fight, and Mt. Fuji is clearly visible in the background. While Japan may be in the Pacific, it’s certainly not in the south.

Star Wars: Legacy #7

Adan: So, I though this was the beginning of the second arc, but instead it’s the end of the first one, so I’m a little lost and confused. But I did get a few things. There are three factions in this Star Wars future (at least): there are the Jedi, the Sith, and the Imperials, who are somewhere in the middle of the Jedi and Sith. They hate both of them, but are willing to work with Jedi against the Sith. There is a Skywalker in this future (as there should be), but he looks and sounds more like Han than Luke. He was training to be a Jedi until his father was killed in a raid against a Jedi Temple by Sith and… Imperials? Like I said, I’m a little lost, but I do know that this is interesting enough for me to go back and figure out what I’m lost on. If you’re Star Wars fan, you’re already grabbing this. If you’re not, there’s nothing I can say to get you to read it. But you know what? I like it.

Laura: Don’t be fooled by the cover: there’s no Luke Skywalker here. This is set in the future of the future, so our protagonist is actually a Skywalker descendant by the name of Cade. Cade isn’t a very good Jedi; he’s got more than a little sithiness to him, what with the lust for vengeance and his willingness to tap into the dark side to get things done. I’ve kicked around the idea of reading Star Wars novels before, because I loved the original movies and I always wanted to hear more stories about the Jedi. Preferably ones that don’t star Hayden Christensen as a two-dimensional piece of plywood. So I like this. I’m perfectly happy to watch these stories unfold, with their cool light saber battles and intergalactic conflicts that don’t revolve around trade disputes. Star Wars fans should be reading this, but then, they probably already are.

Superman and Batman vs. Aliens and Predators #1

Laura: Wow, a book that manages to be more contrived than Pirates vs. Ninjas and Zombies vs. Robots combined. This book is ridiculous even on the comic book scale of absurdity, but c’mon–you knew that coming in. Is it hard to believe that Predators and Aliens have been secretly living in a Peruvian volcano for the last 14,000 years? Yes. Does it strain credulity that Batman devises a syntactically complex and fully functional sign language with the Predators in a matter of hours? Yes. Does it matter? No. What matters is whether or not you want to see Superman and Batman fight Aliens and Predators. You do? OK then.

Adan: This is ridiculous, but in a good way. When I was younger, I enjoyed the inter-company crossover comics more than anything else (hence my uneartly love for Amalgam, which passion burns like a thousand white hot suns). They always seemed like so much more fun. Unfortunately, there wasn’t too much fighting in this first issue (or very much Aliens, either), so I must hope that second issue has nothing but a Dynamic Duo tag team fighting scores of Aliens and being hunted by dozens of Predators.

Thunderbolts #110

Laura: So, this is what it’s come to—Bullseye is joining the Thunderbolts. I thought this team was supposed to be for former supervillains, not someone who gleefully describes throwing a popstick stick through a little boy’s eye three days previous. It’s such an obviously, colossally bad idea that the real question isn’t whether it’ll go wrong, but when, and how many people will die. We’re also treated to a toy commercial where Captain America is described as a “terrorist masked man” and Thunderbolts action figures stand triumphant over his prostrate plastic effigy. It seems the villains are the heroes now, while the heroes have become villains. Oh the irony, it is so rich, like cheesecake.

Adan: Mmmm… Cheesecake. Oh, hi!

Okay, let’s call this what it is: Marvel’s Suicide Squad without the awesome political situations. It’s a group of super-villains with very tight leashes that get full pardons for their help to the US government. The only difference is that these guys are a lot more public than the Suicide Squad ever was. Laura’s not joking, there actually is a commercial for Thunderbolts action figures in the issue. Apparently, the Marvel citizenry is perfectly okay with villains being granted presidential pardons for doing what cops are supposed to do.

Wolverine: Origins #10

Adan: Man, this book sucks! Look, major spoilers here, but why do you have to kill both Dum Dum Dugan and Jubilee in one book, Daniel Way? You’ve killed my childhood, you asshole! Jubilee joined the X-men at about the same time I started reading them, so she’s been my favorite X-man since forever, and now you’ve killed her. It wasn’t enough that she was depowered, no, we had to kill her off too. You fucking pricks! I’m gonna go back to drinking alone and wallowing in my misery, but before I do that, I have one question: why is Logan leaning on the large steel bar that is embedded in Jubilee’s abdomen. Does that asshole have no feelings!?

Laura: Jubilee might as well be Princess Peach at this point, because the only thing people seem to think she’s good for is motivating other characters to save her. What’s not bad about this book? Certainly not the boring, detail-free art, lack of any dramatic tension, painfully wooden fight scenes, or completely erratic pacing. People appear wherever and whenever it’s convenient for the plot, without any regard for logic or common sense. It all wraps up with a completely suspense-free “cliffhanger” that generally epitomizes the lameness of the book. I wish I could say that it’s so bad it’s funny, but it actually manages to fail at that too.

And Others…

Adan: Don’t let your kids read Green Lantern Corps #8 this week. I love this book a lot because it features my hero Guy quite prominently, but this issue has exactly four really, really, really gruesome deaths! They are really gruesome! There’s blood and guts brains and oh man! While the book of course has no Comics Code stamp on it (which are already really tiny anyway), there is no other way for a parent to know this is not a good comic for their five-year-old. C’mon DC, be responsible over here. This is no way to attract new readers.