Damn you, Diddy!! First you have the nerve to be caught staring down the chest of my lovely Jessica Biel, now you’ve got me hooked on yet another season of Making the Band! You’d think I’d have learned my lesson by now. We all should have. But dammit if Diddy hasn’t taken this show and made a delightful novelty out of it.
Now, I’ve always found the show to be remarkably flawed from a conceptual standpoint. From the first incarnation, with Lou “I’ve got some prime Florida swampland to sell you!” Perlman, the man behind the Backstreet Boys and N*Sync, Making the Band gave away too many trade secrets. It was like seeing how hot dogs are made, and discovering that the process is worse than you could ever imagine. It certainly didn’t help that the O-Town’s first single was called “Liquid Dreams”. Once that group was dead and buried, Diddy (I think he was still “P”. Diddy at this point) took over the show, promising to succeed where the first group failed. The sheer hyperbole is so laughable, there’s no way for you to not be entertained. Focusing on creating a premiere hip-hop/r&b group, Diddy selected five rappers and a singer to become. . . Da Band! What creativity, what innovation, what the fuck?!?!? That’s the best name you could come up with?!? I guess you can’t expect much from Bad Boy when they’ve had a group unfortunately named after a cereal!! But honestly, how much could we expect from Da Band? Especially when one member had a penchant for sucking his thumb?! That ain’t gangsta!! About the only legacies left behind by those hooligans are the countless rappers who still reference Diddy making them walk from Manhattan to Brooklyn for cheesecake, and one of the funniest Chappelle Show skits of all-time!!
Realizing that the only thing worse than a pre-fab singing group is a pre-fab rap group, Diddy decided to try his luck at putting together a girl group. For what it’s worth, the ladies of Danity Kane are much easier on the eyes and ears than that group with the cereal-based name. But let’s face it, that ain’t sayin’ much, and no one’s waiting for their next album. Like every other reality show, the end product of Making The Band is irrelevant. The fun is in the show itself, and seeing what goes into creating what will ultimately be a disposable product. The drama, the pomp and arrogance, the emotional breakdowns, etc. It’s fun to see these people chase after a dream like a rabbit running after a carrot hung from a fishing pole. And once again, Diddy’s got my dumb ass hooked! This time around, things have pretty much come full circle, as the music mogul sets out to create a male pop/r&b group destined to dominate the charts. . . . at least for that first week after their album drops.
With the premiere episode, you ALMOST get the impression Diddy’s not dickin’ around this time. In addition to his regular crew of producers, vocal coaches, and choreographer Laurie Ann Robinson, Diddy’s even wrangled New Edition member and Boyz II Men mastermind Michael Bivens. Sure enough, we got a whole rack of dudes belting out “End of the Road” during the auditions. For the most part, the preliminary auditions phases were pretty standard. There were a lot of good singers, but not necessarily great singers. When we’re talking r&b, I set the bar pretty high, and unless you’re a good all-around musician, I probably won’t pay much attention to you. As with all reality shows, though, you eventually get the weirdoes. For my money, nothing’s weirder than the forty year-old white dude in a Coogi sweater belting out old-school Stevie Wonder. But who do we root for? Who do we hate with a fiery passion?
After picking somewhere around sixty or so guys from about five cities, Diddy’s team starts going to work on seeing who’s gonna learn the most if selected for the top twenty. One of the standouts, right from the beginning, is Dan, a husky white dude who really knows how to hit the high notes AND can dance his ever-lovin’ ass off. It’s hard not to be impressed by him. Then there’s Michael, another husky boy, but he’s far more hindered by his weight than Dan, and Diddy makes it clear that he’s gonna have to whip things into shape to keep up with everyone else. Naturally, you’ve got the choirboy, as Julius goes against his reverend father’s wishes to pursue his dreams (awwww!!). Frankly, I found him a little boring, and at the moment, he can’t dance worth a damn. Ultimately, they all make the top twenty, but it’s Korean immigrant Sam (hailing from the DC-Metro area, like yours truly), that really put a smile on my face, and I was sad to see him go. The boy did Luther, you know who I’m talkin’ ‘bout! He did Luther, and did it GOOD! Granted, he probably didn’t have the versatility for the more upbeat pop/r&b that Diddy probably wants these guys to do, but the boy had heart! I’d have liked to see more from him.
But this should be interesting, to say the least. It’ll make for damn good television, if nothing else. There will be fighting, bitching, crying, dancing, singing, and rumor has it, Diddy throws a chair at somebody!! I can’t wait!