ADVENTURE COMICS #5: I can’t quite decide whether this is stupid or brilliant, and I guess, relatively speaking, that’s a good thing. It’s better to have a comic you think about, trying to decide whether you like or not, than one that goes by in a blip and makes no impression. So there is that. The main story, Superboy Prime vs. Black Lantern Alex Luthor plays almost like a dream, to the point where I honestly thought Prime was going to wake up at the end of the story, on a pile of Blackest Night comic books. He doesn’t, but I kind of almost wish he had… Mainly because Johns, again, plays fast and loose with the rules he’s set up regarding the rings, the Black Lanterns, and how to kill ‘em. I understand this is a lark of a story, but the more I read of Blackest Night, the less defined it seems to get, the less crisp.

There’s another book this week where a character says something like, “The only way to kill a Black Lantern is by combining the light from two rings! Or by fire, and also there’s a woman on Earth who can do it.” Which gets to the crux… I was cool with the idea that you had to combine two lights to destroy the BL’s, and would even be fine with, “Uhoh, they’ve gotten an upgrade! What do we kill them with now?” But unless there’s some major revelation at the end here that explains all of this, it’s quickly devolving into a mess.

Also, who’s brilliant idea was it to have Prime attack the DC offices, and then NOT kill anyone? That’s a bit of a cop out. If you were an overpowered fanboy troll on a murderous rampage in the DC offices, first thing you do is shoot Dan Didio in the head and say, “That’s for Ted Kord,” right? NOT THAT I’M ENCOURAGING YOU TO DO THAT, OKAY???

On a positive note, Jerry Ordway’s art is classic, as usual, and the Superboy back-up is heart-breakingly gorgeous enough that I desperately want to get back to Johns and Manapul’s main story ASAP. Worth picking up the issue, just for those pages alone.

SECRET SIX #16: Some of my fellow reviewers seem to take issue with the fact that most of this issue is spent on child rapists, murderers, and super-villain strippers. Dudes. These characters are villains. That means two things: 1) To borrow a phrase from this past week’s Dollhouse, “I think your bad guys are worse than my bad guys.” Meaning, the people the Secret Six go up against have to be disgusting for this title to work. And 2) If a sexy Mr. Freeze costume isn’t funny to you, you have no sense of humor. Plus, I’m pretty sure the epitaph on Ragdoll’s gravestone on the cover is “He liked taffy.” Brills.

The problem with every single comic that focuses on the villains is that it’s always their redemption story, from Thunderbolts, to Suicide Squad. They start as villains, but then find out they can really be heroes. In Secret Six, the characters are all so damaged, when they try to do the right thing, it usually is by making the god-awful thing that’s about to happen only slightly less bad. Even Catman, who desperately wants to be a real hero, can’t escape the fact that every decision he makes just makes things that much worse. Secret Six is honestly the only villain book I’ve ever read that stays true to the idea that the main characters are villains, and has fun while they’re doing it.

If you are not picking up this series, you are an idiot. There, I said what we were all thinking.

R.E.B.E.L.S. #11: Speaking of series you are a fool for not reading, this is some of the best work of Tony Bedard’s career. Classic and revolutionary, every issue of R.E.B.E.L.S. is damn near perfect. It’s also the title, I think, that will benefit the most from the Blackest Night tie-in, as Bedard is weaving the event in perfectly, actually pushing the main story forward in huge leaps and bounds, and as far as I’ve heard from people who picked up last issue, really impressing the new readers. And that’s great, because this series is awesome. I’d really like to see how the mega story ends, and the only way that’ll happen is if people pick this book up. So, you know, pick it up.

ACTION COMICS #884: I guess I could take or leave the Flamebird and Nightwing scenes… I’m still not quite keying into why I should care about these two characters. There’s a difference between telling us they’re time-lost, star-crossed lovers, and it actually feeling like they are. But for Lois Lane fans (fan?), there’s at least two kick-arse scenes in here that highlight our favorite plucky reporter. In related news, I’m a bit concerned about the recently announced War of the Supermen event that’s gearing up next year. Superman books haven’t really been tearing it up, sales-wise. And this overarching story, while not bad, is rather bland. Blackest Night is killing it in the market because the readers were desperately anxious to see what would happen; I’m not convinced it will be the same thing with WotS.

BOOSTER GOLD #27: Right now, Booster Gold is kind of like listening to your favorite album over and over. You don’t necessarily get tired of the songs, but it is the same songs every time. Maybe you’ll skip around and listen to different tracks, but eventually, it’s coming back to that hit song that drew you in to the album in the first place. That’s certainly a very old school approach to a comic, where the same story would play out with slight variations every year or so, because the kids at the news stands would never notice; and Booster Gold, right now, is taking that approach with Dan Jurgens at the helm. It’s the comic equivalent of comfort food, returning to the same beats over and over. It’s satisfying, but it just isn’t exciting in the same way that the first few issues of this title under Geoff Johns and Jeff Katz were, where it felt like literally anything could happen. And literally anything can, as it’s a time travel book… Except it doesn’t. I feel like right now, Jurgens is playing it safe, and while there’s a good amount of pleasure to be had here when reading this book, I miss that feeling you get the first time you listen to an album, and kind of want it back.

DC UNIVERSE HOLIDAY SPECIAL ‘09: Since I say the same thing for every short story collection (“They’re a mixed bag, some stories are good, some are bad… Pick this up for [INSERT GOOD STORY] alone!”) I thought I’d mix things up a little, and give you the rundown of how good or bad each story in this special is. And since it won’t be helpful to say “pick it up,” as you probably shouldn’t rip individual stories out of the book and bring them up to the register at your comic book store, instead, I decided to rate them based on… Well, you’ll figure it out. Interpret as you will:

“Silent Knight” – Cookies the morning after Santa didn’t eat them.

“Man of Snow”- Slushy snowman.

“The Flash Before Christmas” – Lingerie.

“The Christmas of Doom” – A night by the fireplace with peppermint bark and the person you love.

“Party Gift” – Colored tissue paper.

“Reason For The Season” – Rich, creamy eggnog, with just a splash of spicy rum.

“Angel & The Ape” – One piece of milk chocolate.

“A Peace on Earth” – Watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” on television.

“Stille Nacht” – One half of a pair of clogs.

“The Hunt For Christmas” – The last pine tree at the shop, on December 26th.

“Home For Christmas” – One piece of stale milk chocolate.

“Unbearable Loss” – A mismatched pair of socks.

“A Night Before Christmas Story” – An “official” Spaderman figure from Spain, bought at the dollar store.

“Naughty or Nice” – One of those small candy canes.

“Seeing the Light” – Chanukah Gelt.

“Auld Lang Syne” – Champagne on January 1st.