Comics From the 5th Dimension: Kountdown to Final Kombat

30 Apr, 2008

Comics From the 5th Dimension: Kountdown to Final Kombat

By: PCSbot

Kountdown To Final Kombat

It’s been a busy week for me. You take time off from work to go to a comic convention and you come back to find more work forced on you than usual. It really sucks, but I pushed through it, knowing that the greatest videogame of all time was on its way.

We’ve seen a lot of strange crossovers in videogames over the years. The Incredible Hulk crushing down on Dan Hibiki. Spawn clashing with the behemoth Astaroth. Wario and Bomberman trying to outmaneuver each other. Solid Snake trying to vanquish various Pokemon. Tony Stark out-skating Tony Hawk. I can go on and on.

Just a week ago, Mortal Kombat vs. DC was announced. Obviously, this is inspired by the long-been-touched-but-still-popular Marvel vs. Capcom series. Some would say that that’s the only reason it exists. At least Capcom released a few Marvel fighting games prior, including X-Men: Children of the Atom, which featured their character Akuma as a secret character. This is just straight out of the oven, confusing just about everyone

Already, the internet is filled with complaints and discussion. Will there be Fatalities? Will Batman be able to kill, turning this into some kind of interactive version of Justice League: The Nail? With only 20-22 characters announced, will we get anyone good out of this? What about those of us who want to see Stryker fight the Joker? I mean, the thing about the Joker is that he’s so unafraid of death that it makes him even more annoying and scary to deal with, but I’m sure even he would be afraid of the indignity of dying at the hands of Stryker! And what of the blood? Are they really going to tone this thing down? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of making it Mortal Kombat, throwing us back to the days of SNES Mortal Kombat 1 or that awful animated series? Why would they tone it down, anyway? Didn’t Black Adam graphically shove a mask through a man’s skull in the pages of a major DC comic?

You know what? I don’t care. This is awesome. I’m honestly more pumped up over this game than Grand Theft Auto and even Mario Kart. If this game turns out to be good, then good. If it turns out to be bad, then great! This is going to be the videogame version of the Ghost Rider movie, more so than the actual videogame based on the Ghost Rider movie.

Here is a list of ten things I’m looking forward to in the upcoming Mortal Kombat vs. DC game:

10) The Battle for the Cosmos Suddenly Becomes Even Better

Sometime later, Baraka will be cut in half by Kung Lao’s giant, green hat construct.

9) Explaining Retcons with Other Retcons

Notice how in all the 2D Mortal Kombat games, all the ninjas dressed exactly alike, but yet they always changed their styles from game to game? First they had a simple, colored cloth. Then in the next game, they had better masks and quiltier clothes. By Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, they all had more dynamic outfits with colored blocks pasted to their chests. Why would all these ninjas, many of them unrelated in the storyline, know to change their style from adventure to adventure?

Obviously it’s this guy’s fault.

Considering the job this guy did on Risk and the Teen Titans, you’d think Superboy Prime would make a great fit in the Mortal Kombat universe.

8) Batman vs. Shao Kahn

The skull-faced barbarian warlord has dominated everyone from thunder gods to metal-armed special force agents. Can even Kahn take on the World’s Greatest Detective?

It doesn’t even matter if Batman has prep time or not. He’s in constant contact with the world’s best hacker.

“Oracle, it’s me. I need your help.”

“Hold on, I have to finish this game of FreeCell.”

“NOW.”

“Fine. What do you need?”

“YOU WEAK, PATHETIC FOOL!”

“What the hell was that?!”

“Hh. Look up what you can on a ‘Shao Kahn’. I’ll keep him busy.”

“Shao Kahn… Shao Kahn… Here we go. Gamefaqs strategy guide to Mortal Kombat vs. DC, last updated on Wednesday. Do you want me to read you the walkthrough on fighting him or should I just upload the Gameshark code that makes him fight like Stephen Hawking?”

7) Return of the Black Mercy

Being forced into a Mortal Kombat game gives Mongul a newfound advantage. By attaching his parasitic plant, the Black Mercy, onto the heroes, he can put them in a catatonic state where they live out their dreams of being in a better fighting game.

6) The Victory of Maxwell Lord

Pressing forward, down, down, back, high punch causes Superman to tear out his enemy’s kidneys and toss them into the sun. Why does this make Max so excited?

Sore thumbs beats a bloody nose any day.

5) Birds of a Feather

Mokap, the motion sensor-wearing martial artist, stops believing he’s alone in his ridiculous concept of an existence when Sonya Blade punches his head off and he meets up with the equally ridiculous Black Racer!

4) Special Trick When You Land an Uppercut on the Justice Society Stage…

Now we know where the portal to Outworld is.

3) Keeping the Legacy Alive

Newly introduced for this game are Didioalities. Not only do you kill your opponent, but you replace them on the select screen with an ethnic minority with the same name and gimmick!

2) Johnny Cage + Booster Gold = Best Friends Forever

Get past the time travel and martial arts and they’re basically the same dude. Hell, if Mortal Kombat had time machines in it, Johnny definitely would have tried saving Liu Kang’s life by now. And now that I think about it, Booster needs to punch people in the nuts more often.

1) Sub-Zarro