Dr. Doom vs Robot Mummy Religion
by Gavin Jasper of 4thletter!
Several months ago, there was a Marvel miniseries using the name Super-Villain Team-Up, an obvious throwback to the series of the same name from the 70’s. While the story of MODOK and his cohorts was certainly an amusing one (note to Marvel writers: please do something with Living Laser now that he’s become Watcher Jr.), it really had nothing to do with Super-Villain Team-Up. On the other hand, the Sub-Mariner miniseries from the same that time ended with Namor’s kingdom in shambles as he rekindled his old friendship with Victor Von Doom… now that is more like it!
If you never read Super-Villain Team-Up, you’d think the series was just a bunch of stories about Kang the Conqueror and the Leader coming up with plans to beat the Avengers that failed due to their own incompetence and/or inability to work as a team. That’s what I figured it was when I picked up the Essential collection of the short-lived series. Instead, for the most part, it was one big storyline about Dr. Doom and Namor shifting between working together and being at each other’s throats.
Doom put his pride aside for a moment to accept that while he could easily take over the world, ruling the world is a different beast. He needed a partner to help him and sought out Namor. They never did attempt to rule the world, as they each had their own problems to deal with, but their strange relationship lasted for quite a few issues, plus a lengthy Avengers crossover. There was a great piece of closure towards the end that wrote Namor out of the series and ended their relationship as a high note, as Doom respectfully realized their styles differ too much to truly work together. Namor rules through the love from his people, while Doom rules through the fear from his. It’s almost like they’re the World’s Finest of megalomaniacs.
From there, the series fell apart. They had a Dr. Doom vs. Magneto story that crossed over into The Champions, which was recently referenced in the Champions flashback story from Planet Hulk. That story wrote Doom out of the series, leaving a pointless final issue where Red Skull teamed up with Hate Monger.
I’m getting way off track here. What I’m trying to say is that Essential Super-Villain Team-Up is a fantastic trade worth your time and money. It’s filled with great characterization, great interactions and some nice, badass moments from the two monarchs. It also has a lot of weird in it, such as Dr. Doom chilling with Dr. Henry Kissinger or seeing Doom getting his ass handed to him by the Shroud of all people. The thing I’d like to talk to you about today is a character shown in the pages of this trade who is a collection of oversized Silver Age nuttiness rarely seen in one shortly-lived character.
I want to talk to you about the Doomsman, otherwise known as Andro.
His story begins in the pages of Astonishing Tales, a series that featured stories with Doom as the protagonist. Since a lot of the plot threads continued into Super-Villain Team-Up, they were all incorporated into the Essential trade. Said story was written by Roy Thomas with beautiful art by Wally Wood.
As some kind of elaborate prank, the story starts with Doom watching as the foolish Americans once again make a trip to the moon. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin come across a strange orb on the planet and believe that they may finally have proof of alien life. Wow. This is an old Marvel comic. Later on, the President gives it a look and Dr. Doom’s face appears on the orb. He laughs at the President and tells him that he placed that orb on the moon just to show how much more advanced he is than the United States.
It’s a good thing Doom would later seek out Namor, because it’s obvious this guy needs some friends.
With that done with, Doom then storms over to the workshop, where a lackey has finished putting together some new project for Doom. Doom dismisses him and gloats over his new robot minion.
That’s right. A robot mummy filled with cosmic rays. That’s already a mouthful.
“Soon, this creature will walk – and talk – and conquer! But, he has been created in my image – with my brain pattern! Thus, he can never betray me! Never!!”
Hoo boy. So not only have you built this super-powerful robo-mummy, but you gave him your mind. Doom, I understand you’re a busy man, what with you playing practical jokes on Neil Armstrong and all, but you probably should have read up about Hank Pym’s exploits. A couple years back, he too tried making a robot lackey with his brain patterns and it didn’t work out very well for him. Just a heads up.
The main story involves Prince Rudolfo, the son of the man Doom overthrew to become monarch of Latveria. He’s been plotting to take over Latveria for a while and tries it by using a Valeria lookalike to mess with Dr. Doom’s mind. During the chaos from this revolution, the Doomsman awakens and easily breaks his restraints. Rather than side with Doom, he instead goes berserk and runs through several brick walls like they were nothing. Doom ultimately defeats and captures Rudolfo, but is bothered by the knowledge that his cosmic robot mummy clone may ultimately be his undoing.
Rudolfo’s campaign to get rid of Doom continues in the next issue, where the captive reveals himself to be a Rudolfobot. We discover that he’s working alongside a mysterious figure called the Faceless One, who would appear to pester Dr. Doom occasionally in the 70’s and at one point Ms. Marvel for reasons I don’t care enough about to check out. Imagine Superfriends Lex Luthor with Mysterio’s head and you got it covered. The Faceless One is up to speed on what’s going on with the Doomsman and figures that he’s exactly the kind of weapon they need to turn the tide.
To show just how tough the Doomsman is, after wandering the countryside for a while, he comes across a border patrol and kicks the ass of anything that tries to hurt him.
The Faceless One takes him in and assures him that they’re on the same side. Among other things, he tells Doomsman, “We will help you learn how to live – in a world you never made!” Whatever the hell that means.
Rudolfo goes for another rebellion and this one is far more successful than the last one. By the end of the issue, Doom goes up against the Faceless One, seconds before the Doomsman busts through the wall. Like two pet owners calling over the same dog, Doom and the Faceless One each demand Doomsman to destroy the other as he stands in the middle, unsure of what to do.
Having had enough, Doomsman removes the bandages from his face and gets rid of the mummy motif.
Oh shit! It’s Doctor Manhattan with Deadpool word bubbles! What has science doooone?!
In this third issue of the storyline, Doom pulls out the first of three solutions from out of his tin-plated ass. Using the power of mind-fusion, he dominates the Doomsman’s copycat brain and wills him to be his soldier. The two of them team up and destroy the Faceless One’s personal force field. Doom commands Doomsman to grab his enemy and hold him still. What neither could have guessed was the true nature of the Faceless One.
While they’re distracted by this wacky turn of events, neither reacts fast enough when the alien’s Earthworm Jim body explodes. The Faceless One escapes and finds a way to take control of Dr. Doom’s weapons. In an ill-explained sequence, Doom is seemingly done in by these weapons.
Rudolfo and his followers are all happy about their victory, up until Doom’s second solution from out of his tin-plated ass comes to the forefront. Dr. Doom’s giant head (a hologram I suppose) appears and tells them that in his defeat, he has turned on a device that will create a giant earthquake. Doom’s castle falls apart and everyone runs for their lives.
Underground, Doom commands the Doomsman before him and explains that he’s not going to be able to mentally command him forever. It does take a semblance of concentration, so Doom turns off his mind-control for a moment and tries to kill Doomsman with other robots and some electrified metal bars. Doomsman easily destroys them all and goes for Doom. Doom goes back to the mind-control and discusses his failure. He hoped to have an army of Doomsmen help him rule the world, but that won’t work. It’s a good thing he’s come to that decision by now, since he’s shown to have a handful of mummies littering the background, waiting for the cosmic treatment.
Doom then decides he’s getting very sleepy and takes a nap on a nearby table. Doomsman, now broken from the mind-control, goes for the kill once again. But it is only a ruse, as Dr. Doom gets back up and sends Doomsman away to another dimension. Somehow. He didn’t have a laser or a button or a magic spell accompanying this. He just makes him reappear on some trippy planet and says, “I have teleported you to another dimension!”
I know Superman’s powers were all strange back in the day, but at least he gave some effort in explaining them to an extent. Silver Age Dr. Doom could just tell Captain America that he has no legs and without any justification whatsoever, Cap would look down, notice he was right and fall over.
Years later, prior to the launch of Super-Villain Team-Up, it was preceded by two Giant-Size issues. The second of which, also written by Roy Thomas, would bring our android back into the fold.
Namor’s been having some trouble. His people are all stuck in comas and he has nobody to rule over. Doom seeks him out and brings him to Latveria to suggest that they try taking over the world. The main point of Doom’s demonstration is to reveal that he’s invented a solar power generator. Solar power = world domination. That’s really as far as his plan goes.
I like to imagine this story happening in the present, with Namor just raising an eyebrow and asking, “That’s it? Are you fucking retarded?”
“What?! You may not speak such words to Doom lest you feel the wrath of Doom’s brand new Hybrid! You will find it is not only Doom’s hood and cape that are green, Atlantian!”
Doom shows Namor that he’s upgraded his mindless robot slaves to more intelligent androids. As he explains it, “To betray is human – to obey, an android trait.” Come on, man. You invented a mummy robot that already disproved that. How do you forget that? I suppose you were probably too busy laughing about that time you totally burned NASA to remember.
Still, to prove his point, Doom tells two of his mannequin-looking androids to fight to the death. They do and it’s a seriously creepy fight scene. They have these static, expressionless faces as they tear into each other without showing any pain. Finally, one snaps the other’s neck and lets the other android go limp. As Doom gloats to Namor, the surviving android says the other’s name out loud in an uncomprehending and questioning manner, as if trying to wake him up from a nap. Like I said, seriously creepy.
While on the tour, Namor notices a bunch of the androids kneeling together.
Doom explains that due to some flaw or complication, his androids have taken to establishing their own religion. That would be my first warning that something weird is going on, but they keep their quotas on the up and up, so Doom leaves them to their cyber-church.
Namor sees one of the androids change the expression of its face into something of contempt as Doom walks past. Or maybe it’s just the light. Namor isn’t so certain.
For the next part, I think I’ll let the narration do the talking.
“Fear… pain… weakness. Yes, perhaps Dr. Doom spoke truly there – for, these things seem strangely alien to the milling android throngs. But, was Namor correct when he said that hope, too, was a stranger to them? If so, then why have literally hundreds of androids now deserted their appointed posts… to kneel, with heads reverently bowed before a weird, glowing altar?
“Why do they chant, in a communal voice as cold as any crypt, a prayer song in a tongue newer than tomorrow? Why does the altar piece glow more brightly – shimmer with blazing incandescence? Why does a gaunt, yet powerful blue-skinned figure – as seemingly emotionless as those who bow before him – suddenly appear from nowhere into their very midst?
“And why do they bring him clothes – somber raiment made in secret, by wills they were not supposed to possess – and with knowledge they were not programmed to know?
“You must learn all these things, Doom, and learn them quickly, if you are to survive – let alone conquer!”
This threat comes to Doom’s knowledge fast enough, once he hears a crash in the background.
Hahahaha! What the hell is with his symbol? Really, why the hell does he have the male symbol stitched onto his chest? Maybe he wants to make sure that nobody thinks “Andro” is short for “Androgynous”.
Doom gets busy blowing up androids and asks Namor if this Andro character is some kind of blue-skinned Atlantian. Andro explains that he is the robot formerly known as Doomsman and goes over his backstory so Namor has a better idea of who’s killing him. As for how he escaped the surreal dimension Doom so inexplicably sent him to? One day Lockjaw and the Thing showed up, so he just turned himself invisible and latched onto Lockjaw without him realizing. Once making it to an Earth-like reality, he hopped off Lockjaw. This experience taught him how to travel dimensions on his own volition.
“From that Earth-like dimension, I influenced your newer, inferior androids… became like a god to them… and bided my time! For, what need as a god… of his own creator?”
Didn’t bide your time enough if you ask me. I would’ve waited for the super-strong merman to leave before going for the kill.
Doom and Namor, being overpowered by sheer numbers, escape into a hidden passage that Andro never knew about. Doom busts a hole in the wall, causing water to pour in and power up the ailing Namor. Doom has his own oxygen supply and he deliberately made his androids air-breathers. The attacking androids are all killed easily by the rushing waters, but Namor feels a bit of pity in watching them go. They still had semblance of feeling and Andro just sent them off to die without a second thought.
Seeing the androids worship Andro and then be betrayed makes Namor angry enough to go after Andro himself. After a few punches thrown, Doom steps in and claims responsibility for Andro. Therefore, he will be the one to take him down.
The two fight for only a few panels, but it is shown that despite Doom’s armor, Andro is able to hold up on his end. They are equal in both power and mind. Having proved that point, Andro teleports out of the dungeon and leaves the monarchs to the clean-up. Namor and Doom deliberate on what has just happened, finding that Andro merely wanted to show what kind of threat he really is. Dr. Doom decides that although he is a force to be reckoned with, it will likely be a long time before he tries something again.
Doom wasn’t kidding. Andro hasn’t appeared since this story. It’s a bit of a shame, since while he is a ridiculous, cosmic, blue-skinned, former-mummy Robot Jesus with a male symbol on his chest, he’s still a nigh-invincible villain with the mind of Victor Von Doom. That’s pretty major.
Hank Pym’s robot doppelganger became both a regular threat to the Avengers and a recent threat to the entire universe. Wonder Man’s robot doppelganger was a far more competent and powerful member of the Avengers. Wasp’s robot doppelganger… actually, I don’t know anything about Jocasta. Forget about that. Think of what kind of crazy shit could come from what is essentially Doctor Doom’s Ultron.
The idea of a mechanical god character would be revisited twenty years later by Peter David in his Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man run. The character, the Tracer, claims to be a god created by machines to be worshipped. While he was a cool enough concept to be given another go, he still hasn’t been used since Spider-Man’s The Other storyline.
If they really wanted to give it a try, they could easily explain that Tracer and Andro are one in the same. Sounds simple to me.
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