Brendan & Adan’s Picks, Pans & Scans - July 5, 2007

Action Comics #851

Adan: Well it’s about time! After months and months of delays and fill-in issues, we finally get the next part in the much ballyhooed Geoff Johns-Richard Donner Superman storyline.

The writing is fine, but I still feel like I’ve seen this before. Some of it says Superman II, some of it says Superman Returns, some of it even says Fantastic Four circa Waid and Wieringo and magical Doom. Not to say there aren’t some original moments here and there, but overall it feels like it’s been done before and I’m just getting a re-hash. It may be true that there are no original stories left in the world, but a writer has to make the work feel original.

Adam Kubert is still Adam Kubert, so no worries there. It’s solid, it’s clean, it’s crisp, it’s good. Especially good is the difference in style when he’s doing the Phantom Zone and when he’s doing the real world. Drawing it differently means it feels different, and I can actually believe Superman is somewhere not on the Prime Material Plane.

A word on the 3D aspect of this issue: it’s pure gimmick. The only part of the book given the 3D treatment were the scenes taking place in the Phantom Zone, but since, as I already said, Kubert is already drawing those scenes differently, there was no reason to differentiate further. Pure gimmick.

Brendan: I like this story, and I think Johns/ Donner/ Kubert is a sure fire creative team. I like a streamlined General Zod. I like seeing Mon-El. I even like gimmicky 3-D issues! But nothing about this issue is worth the wait. All sense of urgency is lost, and personally my interest wanes. This storyline was supposed to be the big follow up to the “One Year Later,” event. Here we are, one year later, and we are only four chapters in. What’s worse, we won’t even get the conclusion next issue. Instead, we will wait for an indeterminate amount of time for it all to wrap up in an annual.

Comics like this make me mad. Liking these comics makes me even madder.

Black Canary #1

Adan: Ah, the troubles and travails of raising a child. They’re so cute and innocent… and capable of so much destruction. Especially when they come trained in the ways of the League of Assassins.

Green Arrow has asked Black Canary to marry him, but DC editorial wants to drag out her answer for a few months (at least two) and pretend like Canary doesn’t know what she’s going to say (even though last week’s Previews has solicited three separate GA/BC wedding one-shots). Alright, let’s go through the motions and just get this over with. At least the story here is not about Canary being all wishy-washy about her answer, but about her relationship with Sin, the girl she rescued from the League of Assassins, and what other people will do to them to get to Green Arrow. However, I hope Tony Bedard keeps all future references to the “possible” wedding out of the mini, as it looks quite enjoyable.

Paulo Siqueira’s art is an amalgam of artists. His pencils sometimes resemble Gary Frank, sometimes Ed Benes, and unfortunately, sometimes Rob Liefeld. Not everybody needs to grit their teeth or have their mouths open. On the upside, your anatomy is really good instead of, you know, sucking.

Brendan: This was a fun issue. I enjoyed getting a little background on Dinah and Ollie, and I think Tony Bedard is doing well to show how Canary is generally attracted to all the wrong guys. We know where this series is going to end, but until then it is sort of a trip seeing Black Canary do her best “Hard Travelling Heroes,” impression. “Hard Travelling Single Moms,” I guess. Good writing and good art. Good comics, they seem so easy sometimes.

Creature from the Depths One-Shot

Brendan: I picked this up because of the interesting art. I enjoyed that aspect of the book, but found that it could scarcely hold my attention as a read. If you are sick of zombies, but still yearn for horror comics, give this book a peek. If not, wait a bit until you see Mark Kidwell illustrating something new.

Adan: Yeah, I thought the story sucked pretty hard, actually. It was very, very exposition heavy and which was rewarded with a very silly story that’s more derivative than the latest quadratic equation (math humor!) The art was pretty good, though. If Kidwell pairs himself with a better writer, he can go places. Really far places. Places like the non-existent Eastern European hamlet his characters travel to fight Black Lagoon knock-offs. I bet it’s lovely there this time of year.

Faker #1

Adan: Hurm… I’m not sure about this. This is obviously much better than any superhero stuff Mike Carey has ever done (as we established last week), but that’s because all of Carey’s superhero stuff sucks. Compared to, say, Lucifer, Faker isn’t very good. But to be fair, it’s only the first issue. There are five housemates going to college, and they’ve all got secrets, or so the tagline says. I’m not to clear on what exactly is happening, but I’m interested enough to read the second issue when it comes out.

Jock’s art here is almost exactly as it was in the Losers, but it nonetheless feels wrong. Or maybe that’s why it feels wrong. This isn’t a political thriller, and Jock’s art seems tailor made for political thrillers. This isn’t Jock’s fault; in fact, it’s probably mine for trying to pigeonhole him into one genre. Regardless, I still don’t think Jock’s art fits with this kind of story. There isn’t enough action in this story to really show off Jock’s skills (at least there wasn’t in the first issue). At least his character design is still cool.

Brendan: Hurm indeed. (For another Watchmen nod, check out the tee shirt on the Joker in this week’s Detective Comics!) Is Mike Carey the only man writing comics these days? Does he sleep? Does he have a fleet of monkeys chained to typewriters that do his wicked bidding? Does he owe someone a great deal of money?

No matter what the reason, he is everywhere. It is difficult to pinpoint what exactly this story is supposed to be about, mostly because the cliffhanger seems a bit out of left field. I disagree with Adan in that I think Jock is a great fit for a story like this. While I like Jock’s action work, I think he proves here that he does character stuff as well as anyone. Plus, his characters look as hip as any college students should be. I don’t feel like I know enough to judge this series, except that I will check in on the second issue.

New Avengers/Transformers #1

Adan: Oh man. It’s all the bad things about comics rolled into one magazine. It’s an inter-company crossover that makes very little sense, filled with bad writing and bad art. Stuart Moore has about as much finesse as a jackhammer. “The engines of war. A necessary evil, sometimes. But a dark reflection of our better selves.” Really? That’s what you open with? Also, I could really do without the Rob Liefeld clone that is Tyler Kirkham. It even ends with a misunderstanding between the two good guy teams so that they start fighting.

At least there’s no variant covers covered in chrome or whatever.

Brendan: Crossovers exist to appease fan bases. In the best case scenarios they introduce one audience to a new franchise in an accessible and enjoyable story. In worst case scenarios they are often executed much like movie adaptations; disjointed and rushed. It is difficult to see these projects as anything more than cash-ins, because that is undeniably what it is.

That being said, the assignment is still to make the comic as good as it can be. Stuart Moore has experience with big assed robots in his collaboration with BAAPPAS’ fave Ryan Kelly, Giant Robot Warriors. He has also proven his superhero chops, most notably with an eighteen issue run on DC’s Firestorm revamp. This issue also had the bizarre distinction that it starred a living, breathing Captain America. That character has appeared in more comics since his death than he did in the full year before. The cash grab continues.

Blah, blah, blah… there is trouble in Latveria and the core group of New Avengers go in to investigate. I love how the Avengers don’t seem “New” without Power Man. Cage is what makes this team more than a prolonged Marvel Team Up. Anyways, there is some mysterious machinery operating in Doom’s kingdom. There is a contrived reasoning provided for why the team acts and sounds so horrendously out of character, but nothing can pardon the twenty pages we spend waiting for some Transforming. Kirkham is only adequate illustrating this issue, with his strengths plainly being the larger splash images. This is a fun, retro story that Transformer fans should dig, but it isn’t remarkable enough to shed the stigma associated with either movie tie-ins or crossovers.

Pirates vs. Ninjas II #1

Brendan: This comic book makes me so mad. I am fuming like a Looney Tune with steam leaking from my ears. It makes me want to yell and scream and claw and whine.

This was my idea.

I wanted to do this comic book when I was in high school. The only way to truly solve the pirates/ ninjas debate was to watch it play out, and declare the victor. I was so upset about this series during the first volume that I totally skipped it. I decided to give it another go with the new volume, and what do I find? The idea theft continued, and now barbarians are introduced. BULLSHIT! THAT WAS MY THING! NO ONE ELSE COULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT UP WITHOUT STEALING IT FROM MY BRAIN WHEN I SLEPT!

Deep breaths, I’m okay. The worst insult is the last one; given the brilliant seed that was pillaged from my brain how hard can it be to make a fun comic? Apparently, very hard. The art isn’t awful, but the coloring is distracting. The story commits the worst sort of treachery with too much talking and not enough ninjas. Mehhmety meh meh meh.

Adan: And no just barbarians, but English and French soldiers too! It’s like a big old free-for-all to see which team reigns supreme. But overall? Meh… It’s like the first one, but with some extra convulatedness (that’s a word I just made up). Yeah, pirates versus ninjas sounds cool. It may even look cool during the planning stages. But the thing about age-old questions like this is: they are not meant to be answered by mortal man. We cannot comprehend the myriad intricacies required to answer a question like this. We just don’t have the brain capacity. Our brains would explode in a kaleidoscope of shurikens and peg-legs. So, when someone tries to answer an age-old question, these myriad intricacies are not taken into account, and you get an unsatisfactory answer.

Punisher #49

Adan: Ennis just gets better and better on this title, as well as more violent and more sexual (not sexier, just more sexual).

The final part of “Widowmaker” ends not at all like I thought it would, which means Ennis can still surprise me without having to shock me, but he still shocks me, of course. It just wouldn’t be an Ennis book without the shocking, after all. Frank sits most of this issue out, still nursing the wounds he received two issues ago, so Jenny puts on the skull and wreaks havoc on the women who tried to kill her and Frank, going so far as to show her big sister Annabella exactly how the mob makes its money.

Officer Budiansky (aka Samuel L. Jackson, who is not only appearing in damn near every movie known to man, but also every comic; he shows up in Ultimate Power #6 as Nick Fury) seems to get to where he needs to be exactly when he needs to be there, even if he thinks he’s late. It’s a good ending to a good arc, and like I said, it surprised me.

Brendan: Hey kids, look! Starbuck is on the cover of this month’s Punisher! This issue was twisted and poignant and tragic. Garth Ennis gives us an honest look at the cycle of violence. I don’t know what it is exactly that I learned in this story arc, but it was deep.

It was heavy stuff. As good as the Widowmaker storyline was, I must admit that my favorite book Ennis wrote for this week was Punisher MAX Presents: Barracuda #5. That ‘Cuda is a crazy sumbitch, and I can’t wait to see round two.

Sidekickin’ One-Shot

Brendan: This issue was fun superhero fare. Even better, this book has the necessary angle to make it stand out in a market saturated by the genre. Major Hero has the same memory deal as the dude in Memento, but that isn’t the cool part of this book. The cool parts, and there are two, are both provided by the proficient, you guessed it, sidekick. The evil nemesis character is pretty fucking annoying. There is a limit to how much accented dialogue one can read. This issue goes way past it.

I think the art is good. I liked the costumes. I really liked the way the sidekick’s bit inverts the familiar investigative reporter model. It is even funny at times, which can be the hardest part of many new comics. The second story is cooler than the first. Dig.

Adan: There are two shorts in this book about the same two guys. The first sets up the sidekick and his memory-challenged super-hero. It’s kind of funny; the villain is especially hilarious (although his German accent is ludicrously hard to read). Then there’s the second story, which makes the first story better. The second story isn’t all that good on its own (regardless of what the Coach says), but if viewed as merely an extension of the first, it’s actually pretty good, and like I said, it makes the first one even better.

Thor #1

Brendan: Everybody deserves one free pass. When it comes to the Odinson, the bringer of the storms, bane of the Midgard Serpent, bearer of Mjolnir, even the God of Metal, I admit and embrace my inner and outer fanboy. Can’t help it. Wouldn’t try.

So I’m going to be biased. But biased is okay. Deal with it.

Almost three years ago, Marvel screwed me. What’s worse, it was the second time. The first time that Marvel stopped publishing Thor it was tied into the mega-event fondly remembered as Onslaught and the Heroes Reborn relaunches. Oh, right, that stuff isn’t fondly remembered at all. The latest cancellation was once again tied into a line wide publishing stunt, this time the Disassembled storyline that carried through Marvel’s non-X related titles. In the last story Thor was made to face Ragnarok, the fated death of the gods and end of all things. Instead of fighting an unwinnable battle, Thor used his oft-overlooked cunning and broke the death and rebirth cycle that the Norse gods were entangled in. He willed himself and his people out of existence and went night-night.

And that sucked.

But who stays dead, really? After a little hibernation and one clone-induced homicide, our boy is back. Better yet, the title is given an A-list creative team and even one of those Michael Turner variant covers that all the kids buy eleven copies of. Now we can just sit back and wait for the next Ragnarok. There is a lot of exposition to sift through in this issue, what with the resurrection from the void and all. This was a groundwork issue, taking us from oblivion to Oklahoma. Have faith in the heavens, y’all, Thor is back to kick some ass.

Adan: Really? I don’t know, man. I didn’t really like it that much. I honestly didn’t think you’d need that much exposition. He died, he was in limbo for a little while (how low can you go?), and now he’s alive again. Why do I need twenty-plus pages telling me that? This is just more of that decompression shit done not well. Plus, while Coipel definitely is A-list talent, Straczynski lost all rights to A-list after crappy arc after crappy arc on Amazing Spider-Man and that God awful Ultimate Power tripe. No, this isn’t going to work at all.

Union Jack: London Falling TPB

Brendan: And the Union Jack fans arrived in droves. Not even one drove? No droves at all?

Without the fine work of Ed Brubaker on Captain America this series would never have happened. But with a guest spot in a popular title, and a writer in Christos (eN)Gage with rising stock this D level character got a shot. The series gets off on the right foot, immediately acknowledging the work of the 1999 mini series by Ben Raab and an unknown John Cassaday. Joey Chapman has finally rid England of their vampire infestation, but no sooner does he stake the last bloodsucker before MI6 and a gang of super-terrorists get all up in his business. London is in trouble and it will take a coalition of the willing to save her.

I was a little disappointed in the art of this series. Mike Perkins is a phenomenal inker and a great penciller, but I am more used to seeing him ink his own work. Andrew Hennessy is a capable inker, but being so accustomed to see Perkins ink both his own work as well as Steve Epting’s I couldn’t help but notice that the character faces looked a bit off. The bar set in Captain America is a high one, and this came up only a hair short of that. Gage’s story is a good one, and the care he takes in developing character dynamics is not wasted. Jack is also a hero of the average Englishman, and that theme is handled with tactful subtlety throughout the story.

All in all, this is a worthwhile mini. My personal favorite moment came when UJ, after capturing Jack O’Lantern, demanded the criminal be extradited to a country with the death penalty. Thanks to Civil War and the Thunderbolt project, Jack’s wish is granted. Oh, and who doesn’t want to see the snooty British stuffed-shirt get his comeuppance in the end? No one, that’s who.

Adan: We reviewed the last issue of this mini back in the day when this column wasn’t so testosteroney, and I said it was awesome, except that it took awhile to get to the point. “It-Boy” Christos Gage writes an awesome political thriller, but unfortunately it’s disguised as a super-hero romp until the very end. Let me make a comparison: I watched Live Free or Die Hard the other day. It was a good action flick tied in with some political thrilly-ness, but the political aspects were tied in throughout the whole movie. In Union Jack, the political stuff doesn’t really enter the equation until the end. It’s like if John McClane was kicking bad guy ass and blowing shit up through the whole movie, and only in the last act did we find out the bad guys were cyber-terrorists. It’s not very good writing. The first three issues are pretty action packed and Union Jack has very little time to breathe as the fan keeps getting smacked around by fecal matter, and then we get this political angle thrown in in the fourth issue. It’s kind of jarring, but Gage saves it by just being that good of a writer. It’s a very enjoyable mini-series, even with the genre schizophrenia.

Who Wants to Be a Superhero? Feedback One-Shot

Brendan: Wow. Just wow.

After an eternity of waiting we finally got to see the masterpiece Stan Lee and the Sci-Fi network cooked up. It was awful. Feedback, AKA Matthew Atherton, got to realize all his dreams by seeing a comic about himself written by Stan Lee. So what if the story made no sense and reminded us all why comics ever carried a negative connotation? I was reminded of my own childhood dream to one day get in a fight with a bunch of street thugs with mohawks. Also, if I had the idyllic job of being an arcade repairman I don’t think I would even bother becoming a superhero. I would have already paid my debt to society. The art wasn’t bad, but this comic was.

Adan: Now I remember why Stan Lee should have stopped writing comics in the 70s. Please stick to the lakes and the rivers you’re used to (and by that I mean cameo-ing in movies). Here’s the most ridiculous part of this book: the hero wastes time in coming up with a codename and making a costume while the bad guy-terrorist is still at-large. Shouldn’t you be, oh I don’t know, fucking heroing!? Man, this was awful. Possibly more awful than New Avengers vs. Transformers.