Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers! Annihilation Conquest: Prologue, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #13, and Justice League of America #10 (which we don’t even review here; we’re just a couple of dicks) get the “So no shit, there I was,” treatment. You have been warned!

Annihilation Conquest: Prologue

Adan: I had never, ever enjoyed Marvel’s cosmic stories. It’s not that I think Infinity Gauntlet sucks, it’s just that it’s not for me. Like the Hulk, I viewed the cosmic characters as too powerful, and therefore able to easily defeat anything thrown their way, and therefore uninteresting. Able to defeat anything except each other, that is. But why should I care about what happens between Adam Warlock and Thanos, or the Silver Surfer and Terrax the Tamer? None of them are human and most them don’t even remotely act human. Nope, cosmic stories just weren’t for me.

And then Annihilation came. Apparently, all that was needed in order to make me care about cosmic characters was a war of unimaginable proportions and a few human characters at the center of it all.

Now that the Annihilation Wave has been stopped in the face of a united front encompassing Skrull, Kree, humans, and even ex-Heralds of Galactus and Negative Zone denizens, there is a race within positive matter space which thinks it can easily take the remnants of once proud empires and call them its own. And this race is a race not seen since a failed attempt to take the Earth in the pages of the X-books about, what, ten years ago? That’s right, suckers, the Phalanx is back and they’ve just taken what’s left of the Kree Empire in one fell swoop.

A prologue is supposed to set the mood, provide background information, and above all, get you excited about whatever it is it’s prologuing. DnA (Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning’s nom de guerre) have succeeded in all three respects. The mood is one of despair: after fighting a brutal war against an invading force that it very nearly lost, the universe is now taken apart from within. The background is relayed through Phyla-Vell, the new Quasar, and Peter Quill, the once and future Star-Lord, who both survived the Annihilation Wave and saw exactly how close galactic civilization came to ending. And the excitement… man, if you can’t get excited about the Phalanx just taking the Kree Empire like that, then there is something really wrong with you.

Brendan: So wait… the known world suffers through a war of unprecedented horror and destruction, and during the rebuilding phase there is an opportunistic imperialist movement that capitalizes on the instability of the region? Why do I feel like I’ve heard that story before?

And there is the heart of good cosmic, or sci-fi material. It uses extraordinary backdrops and trappings to remind us of the world we live in. Mike Perkins manages to ground this story in humanity with his gorgeous artwork, not to mention draws a mean Kree Sentry. I won’t defend or compare to the metaphysical conflict that defined Jim Starlin’s cosmic Marvel work, but I thought this was a good issue that will get people pumped for the coming Conquest.

The Brave and the Bold #4

Adan: When I did the first issue of this awhile back, I said that I liked it, but I didn’t really know why. It was just enjoyable as heck. Three issues later absolutely nothing has changed in the book’s execution, and yet I find myself not liking it as much. Maybe it’s my complete non-feelings about the two main characters this issue (Supergirl and Lobo), or maybe the novelty of this book has worn off. A book that visits Destiny’s Garden as well as the new Legion’s future should still excite me (interesting note: now that Batman has met two different Legions from supposedly the same point in the future, what will he think? what will readers think?), but for whatever reason, it doesn’t.

Brendan: This book should be DC’s biggest sure thing. George Perez gets an opportunity to draw the entire DCU, and Mark Waid gets to show off his encyclopedic knowledge of all things DC. Both are solid, proven creators, and no one seems to be getting in their way. As such, I still can’t figure out how this book is so average.

I think it is well drawn. Tom Smith’s colors seem outdated, but that is hardly enough to take away from Perez’s magic. I think Waid wants to tell these stories. I feel like he has made good decisions in the characters he chose to include, and those he decided to match up. I think his knack for each character’s voice is as natural as Perez’s ability to draw them. But for the life of me, I can’t bring myself to care about this plot. I don’t see how the “A” and “B” stories synch up, although I will admit I can’t become invested enough to care. On top of that, it all hinges on time travel, destiny, and… gambling?

I can’t bring myself to not read this book. It has a lot going for it. For example, I feel like I never realized how much I liked the new Blue Beetle until I saw him paired up with Batman. The sexual tension, first with Green Lantern and Supergirl, and now with Supergirl and Lobo, is playful and fun. Lobo stays true to his bastich roots, and Supergirl is doing her best Britney Spears “Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman,” impression. This is probably a book strictly for fanboys and fangirls, but it is fun, classic-style comics.

Adan: “The sexual tension… with Supergirl?” The girl is sixteen! There should be no sexual tension! Pervert!

Brendan: I’m not the bastich here. I’m just calling it like I see it. Plus, she was in that space ship for a long time…

Adan: Yeah, a long time. About sixteen years worth of time!

Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #13

Brendan: By the time you see the cover, you will know the story.

By the time you hear this weekend’s convention coverage, you will know that this book has been cancelled and both Mark Waid and the Volume Two numbering will be returning to the book in September.

Long story short, Bart is out. The youngest Flash quickly became the least successful. It seems as though Bart Allen was no more than a sacrificial lamb given up for the sake of “One Year Later.”

“You can’t have a Crisis without a dead Flash.”

These were the words of Dan Didio two summers ago in regards to speculation that the Flash title would be shaken up following Infinite Crisis. It turned out to be a misdirect, as Wally and his family were whisked into obscurity for a rainy day, (that rainy day turned out to be this week), and Barry Allen made a Crisis appearance. In the end Bart Allen, who only three years prior had been the original creation “Impulse,” and was only just coming into his role as the second “Kid Flash,” took on the lightning bolt mantle.

He was screwed from the start. Wally West spent over two hundred issues adjusting to the role of being the fastest man alive, and was often defined by his inferiority complex and hero worship of his uncle. He was also a rare character who was given the opportunity to grow and mature, never more so than when he rescued his miscarried children from limbo and defeated his entire Rogue’s gallery. It took twenty years, and two writers with lengthy runs and an affinity for the character, but Wally overcame his uncle and became a family man. Then he ran so fast he became lost with them in obscurity.

So thrust into the spotlight is the erstwhile Impulse as the brand new Flash, with a new number one and everything. DC pulls some guys from the world of television and film, the ones that made a Flash television show that failed, and an unproven but high ceiling artist in Ken Lashley, and told them to, ahem, run with it. The scripts were bad, the artists couldn’t keep up on quality or a schedule, (punctuality killing the book, Barry Allen would be proud), a car accident was foreseeable. It was going to take a lot of things going right for fans to accept a kid who was raised in the future in a virtual reality program as a relatable character, especially when he aged four years for no reason other than One (or more, if you are trapped in the Speed Force) Year Later. If I were Bart Simpson, and not above such things, I would say it was the suckiest sucking thing that ever did suck. Of course, I would never say that.

Hope seemed to come in the form of solid writer Mark Guggenheim and Tony Daniel. All of a sudden the title wasn’t the worst book you bothered to read. You’ve got to walk before you run.

Yadda, yadda, yadda, thirteen issues and now you are cancelled. Congratulations, now we have another dead Titan. This issue itself felt something like a snuff film. It was also the best issue of the run. You motherfuckers. From the first page, to the homage of Barry’s own death, to the forced last words of Bart Allen, this was a hopeless story. The last five pages kill me. I guess the most interesting thing about this story is where it will lead the Rogues, because they have officially taken it up a level.

It just sucks. I liked Conner Kent and I liked Kid Flash. I wish DC would have had the guts to simply cancel The Flash for a year and reevaluate their plans for the title. Instead, we got a year of half- cooked stories and we’re left one character short of where we started. I liked this issue, but I’m pissed I had to read it.

Adan: Yes, but which cover? And it’s not like covers haven’t lied to us in the past. In fact, I’d be hard-pressed to come up with more than ten covers that told the truth. Regardless, the Coach is totally right. This relaunch was mishandled and frankly sucked until Guggenheim came aboard and tried to save the book. Alas, it was too late. The damage had done and even a pretty solid arc by Guggenheim could do nothing to save poor Bart Allen, a boy who was forced to grow up way too quickly. He’d been Kid Flash for about a year before they decided to stick him in the red suit and made him run. Now, he’s dead, we’ve got only one founding Young Justice member left, and precious few speedsters left in the world (well, except for that fact that three just came back from limbo thanks to the efforts of a certain future super-hero team).

The Rogues, however, do look like they’re ready to hit the prime time alongside other villains like Batman and Lex Luthor. For a long time, they didn’t kill people, not because they didn’t want to, but because it was unneccesary and they thought it would bring too much heat on them. Well, they’ve just beaten a Flash to death. I think that might qualify as heat.

Madame Mirage #1

Brendan: What’s the point?

That is the question that ran through my head most as I read this issue. The world is corrupt, and heroes are outlawed. Bad guys run the show. Oooooooooo.

Ken Rocafort does a decent job putting us in this world, but Paul Dini comes up flat. There don’t seem to be any stakes in this series. It feels like little more than an expression of fetishism, but without much direction. A character shrouded in mystery isn’t compelling in and of itself, and the visuals aren’t enough of a draw on their own. This isn’t a bad issue, and I would bet that there will be some that swear by this new character, but to me, it is only almost as good as any given issue of Detective Comics by Dini. So what’s the point?

Adan: I don’t even give it that much. I’m super disappointed in Paul Dini. Spectacular issue after spectacular issue of Detective Comics buys you a ticket into the door that is my reading list, but then you got to prove yourself all over again, and Dini did not do it at all. I was asking myself “Who cares?” Ken Rocafort’s visuals remind me of Rob Leifeld, so no points there, either.

I’m just so fucking disappointed.

Mythos: Spider-Man #1

Brendan: Sometimes there’s a reason you hear a story again and again. We often get to a point where the story is so familiar we take the simplicity for granted. But there is a reason we can hear these tales again and again.

The Mythos line is meant to bridge the gap from Marvel fans familiar with the characters outside of their original comic trappings. It is chiefly designed to take the movie franchises and the “Ultimate Alliance” fans and show them how it all started. Paul Jenkins is a man of many writing hats, and does a good job compressing the familiar origin story. It is exactly how we remember it. This isn’t the hardest job in the world, but a dropping of the baton would be imminently noticeable.

The key, however, is the painted work of Paolo Rivera. At first glance, the art feels “photo-realistic.” This is really something of a misnomer, because Rivera’s characters are realized more out of cartooning than meticulously gathered photographic reference. His Peter Parker looks both like Tobey Maguire AND Steve Ditko’s portrayals. He is creating a reality where both entry points are valid.

The scenes this book lumps together are straight out of Stan Lee and Sam Raimi. The web-shooters are not organic. So ends that argument. Oh, and we get a Conan O’Brien cameo. That clearly rules.

There isn’t much new in this book. It is what it is. It is also well executed, and that counts for something. Personally, I can’t wait until this entire Mythos project is completed and treated with a nice oversized hardcover. If all the Marvel staples are recreated as well as this one, that will be a collection worth holding on to for a long time.

Also, Tony Stark doesn’t appear in this issue, so that is a plus.

Adan: This is the first Mythos book I’ve read and the reason for that is because I fear Paul Jenkins and his writing as of late. However, it seems I feared for naught (well, not for naught; that fear is still a healthy thing to have) as this book is actually pretty good. Jenkins does a good job of updating the origin while still rooting it firmly in its own mythos (uh, no pun intended). I like the little things he adds, like Peter wearing elbow and knee pads the first time he goes out swinging and Uncle Ben wanting to take Aunt May to Hawaii with the money Peter’s making. I also like that all the familiar beats are kept intact with very minimal changes.

Also of note is Paolo Rivera’s art (once voted sexiest man at Marvel by staffers). Watching this man paint, which I’ve been lucky enough to do once, is almost a religious experience, especially when his art comes out as awesome as it usually does. His art here is pretty cartoony, so I’m not sure why B says it feels photo-realisitc (just take a look at the thief as he runs past Spidey; that is one cartoony mug). I’m not complaining, mind, I’m just saying.

Conan O’Brian is also quite cartoony, but then again, he is in real life too.

Repo #1

Brendan: Oh my God, the world of Repo is my worst fear realized: a world where debt collectors are give the rights of bounty hunters. Rick Spears and Rob G team up once again to deliver this raw dystopian future. Rob G’s pencils only get tighter with each successive project, and Spears’ dialogue feels modern and true even in this supposed future.

I don’t want to describe this story in too much detail, it is simply too close to my own personal nightmare. I don’t think I’m alone in this fear, and that is what will make this book a success. I expect this book will get better with each issue, and I expect you will all check it out. Or they’ll find you.

Adan: A mix between Brian Wood’s Couriers (in which Rob G handled art chores) and the Jetsons. The text piece at the beginning tells you most everything you need to know: “This is the future they promised us — hover cars, jet packs, hotels on the moon — but they neglected to inform [us] that it all came with a heavy fucking price tag.” I can see why Brendan is terrified of this future. Frankly, I am too (you’ll take my big screen when I’m dead). Rick Spears is a fantastic writer and I’ve enjoyed everything he’s ever written, and the same actually goes for Rob G. That guy can draw gritty better way better than Michael Turner can draw ridiculously proportioned women (and Rob can draw feet, to boot). There is no reason at all why this will not continue to rock, so pick it up with no fear in your heart.

Tick’s 20th Anniversary Special Edition #1

Brendan: This is a nice testament to a character’s longevity. The Tick is a quirky character that speaks to the era he was created in much the way the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles do. They both spoofed mainstream comicbooks but managed to surpass the popularity of the competition through television and merchandising. How long before a Tick movie?

This issue is full of varied creators taking a hack at a character they enjoy. Most have done work on this title somewhere down the line, but many just join in the fun for the ride. Mike Kindt’s “World War Spoon,” serves as the high water mark for the shorts, no small task for a list of creators that includes Zander Cannon, Fred Hembeck, Josh Howard, Billy Tucci, Terry Moore, Cory Walker, and Trina Robbins. Oh, and also, there is Tick in carbonite. He’ll be quite safe there. Creator Ben Edlund throws down with a quirky three pager. You are going to want to pick this up.

Adan: Yeah, when I first read about this, I thought it was going to be a reprint. It turns out I was super wrong and is instead a collection of funny shorts by a bunch of funny creators. Most of these are one page gags, but there’s a few two-pagers thrown in there as well. You’re going to want to pick this up if you’ve ever been a fan of the Tick in his myriad forms. You might want to pick it up if you’ve never even heard of the Tick. It is pretty funny.

X-men: Endangered Species One-Shot

Adan: When there are only 198 mutants left in the world (give or take fifty or sixty), the death of one of them is a big deal. Some kid we’ve never heard of dies off-panel and all our merry mutants show up to the funeral. Representatives from all four X-men squads are there (Uncanny, Astonishing, Adjectiveless, New), as well as X-factor Investigations and current government agent Bishop are in attendance. There are talks about numbers and grief and blame, but really it’s just a commercial for the next X-event with a few good lines thrown in. Oh Mike Carey, I just gave you my half of the BAAPPAS Book of the Year Award, and this is how you repay me? Regardless, there are some good lines, like I said, the best one coming from Sebastian Shaw: “Face it, Charles. We were supposed to be the clever ones. The visionaries. You. Me. Eric. And all we’ve ever done is to fight each other until our knuckles bled.” That’s powerful and almost makes up for the mercenary existence of this book.

Scot Eaton has some fantastic pencil work here, which is only enhanced by inker John Dell and colorist Frank D’Armata. This books looks really, really nice, even if it’s actually not so much.

Brendan: Hi, I’m Brendan, and I was once an X-fan.

Man, that feels good to get off my chest. Now, getting to this issue. I want to weep for the lost mutant. I want to care that mutants are… ENDANGERED. I showed up, I’m trying here.

But I’ve got nothing. I like Astonishing because I enjoy the cast and the way it handles the characters. Other than that, I’m over the “persecuted and feared” part of my life, so I just can’t connect with their plight with the ease I could at thirteen. I check in on the X-titles every once and a while, but never find myself begging for more. And here wr are again. The Shaw scene is definitely the best of the book, and D’Armata kills, but otherwise this is the pinnacle of talking head comics where nothing happens. And think about it, buying this issue is spending $3.99 on a prologue to a series of backups, where we can presume Beast will talk about how he wants to tackle problems.

And now I remember why I’m a recovering X-fan.

Yotsuba&! v4

Adan: Argh!!!! This comic is so cute!!!!

Yotsuba is a little girl, about four or five years of age, who acts exactly like a four- or five-year-old should, making for some excellent comedy. This is by far my favorite manga, and not because I’m some weird pervert (though I’ve heard this comic appears in one of those phone book anthologies in Japan that is geared for a very specific kind of pervert: the kind that likes to look at little girls, but hey, that’s Japan), but because it is by far the funniest, sweetest, cutest, most heartwarming book I’ve ever read. The adventures Yotsuba gets into are at once hilarious and sweet, and she brings all her friends into it whenever possible. She doesn’t understand more adult concepts like heartbreak or global warming, and she takes everything literally (for example, not touching a soccer ball with her hands ever because the rules forbid it), but she tries her hardest anyway. And her dad is a super awesome dad, the kind of dad I’d like to become. He tries to include her in everything he does, and he humors her ridiculousness, but in a healthy way, you know. When Yotsuba tells her dad that a tsukutsukuboshi is in fact a cicada and not a summer fairy at all, he acts as shocked and surprised by the “big news” as she is.

Look, I know I’m a big old softie, but dammit, this is quality work. I enjoyed the heck out of Kiyohiko Azuma’s first manga work, Azumanga Daioh, but this is so much better, it’s not even funny. Well, actually, it is funny. It’s downright uproarious.

Brendan: This book completely nails both the unbridled joy and unmatchable frustration of spending time with children. With basic and unmistakable emotive expressions and a knack for saying no less than every single thought in her head, this one is no less than a romp.

I didn’t want to like this. Damn you, Adan. I’ll never forgive you for this.

And Others…

Brendan: I think I liked the finale to The Lightning Saga, but I’m not sure it made sense. There were some very cool moments, and I’m sure it will read better in one sitting.

Captain America was as good as it should be, while Spider-Man in both Amazing and Fallen Son were short of worth the wait. Sensational, on the other hand, is the best issue to bear the header Back in Black. We get deep into the mind of the tortured Eddie Brock, and it is as disturbing as it ought to be.

Greg Pak showed the more character driven half of last week’s World War Hulk in Incredible. It is good.

Adan: Every World War Hulk tie-in (with the exception of the always awesome Heroes for Hire) was basically a re-hash of World War Hulk #1 from last week. There was some new stuff added in, but re-hash for the most part.

Brendan: Call it re-hashed browns.

Related posts

• No related posts.