A Black Cat has crossed the path of the PCS buzzscope and has us crawling the walls with anticipation. Of course, whether adding Black Cat to the meow mix will be good luck or bad for the Spider-Man movie franchise is anybody’s guess.

In fact, we don’t even know if the character will actually appear in the movie yet–though that happy tingling we’re all getting at the possibility isn’t spider-sense–it’s common sense! Spider-Man may be a costumed hero who solves most problems with punching…but the Spider-Man story is equal parts everyman angst, costumed action, and romantic comedy. No supporting character in the Spiderverse better encapsulates those elements than the thieving jinx with the cosplay fetish. And now that you’ve read our casting suggestions for the Cat, how about a little speculative storytelling about how this kitty can fit into the picture for Spidey 4?

However you felt about Spider-Man 3 (here’s how I felt), you know that Sam Raimi and his amazing friends are going to continue following at least some threads from that film and the previous two in the next installment. Peter Parker and MaryJane Watson’s relationship will evolve to the logical next step, and Spider-Man’s world will be populated with more creative and colorful characters, as there’s still some alien symbiote goop oozing around and the Sandman was allowed to get away. Ideally, one particular plot point won’t hang like a somber black cloud over Spidey 4–Harry’s death. Peter and MJ mourning the loss of their friend is an important part of their shared story, but it would be best to let the actors internalize those emotions and let them play into the subtext of the various new, fresh storylines to be told. In the comics, Felicia Hardy–that’s the Black Cat–started off as a libidinous cat burglar who seduced Spider-Man, but over the years, her tale has been all about redemption. Another character expected to appear in Spidey 4, Dr. Curt Connors, is corrupted when he accidentally turns himself into the Lizard, but the Jekyll to that scaly Hyde is still a good man. Thinking back to Harry’s own journey through the first three films and his own battle with the corrupting influence of Venom, Spider-Man should be well-armed to deal with the challenge of leading both Black Cat and the Doc Connors to redemption. Here’s how it can all fit together:

• The best way to erase the funk left over from the end of the last film and to remind viewers that Spidey’s world is growing in weird and dangerous ways is to open Spidey 4 with a big, fun action sequence pitting the web-head against one of his classic (but not worthy of a whole movie) villains. I know another rumor going around is that Bruce Campbell will finally make the jump from funny cameo to full-fledged badguy in the next flick, and fans seem to like the idea of him doing so as Mysterio. I had my own idea for costumed Campbell since Spidey 1–casting him a Mac Gargan, the Scorpion. But I’ve since reconsidered, instead thinking the best baddy for Bruce to play would be the super-cheesy and easily defeatable Shocker. I can hear him now, taking a swing at Spider-Man with a vibrating gauntletted knuckle sandwich, shouting “This is my BOOM fist!” And then Spidey would beat him senseless, monologuing the whole time about how down he’d been since losing Harry, but between his engagement to MJ and getting to beat up on this clown, he’s beginning to see that maybe things are going to be all right, after all. We’ll get the classic moment of Spidey leaving his fallen foe webbed to a lamp post just in time for the opening credits to roll.
• I’m no fan of movie-MJ, but we’ve missed our opportunity to drop her off a bridge twice now. This time, MJ is going to spend most of the movie running around with Aunt May (and maybe even her new BFF Gwen Stacy) making preparations for her wedding to Peter. They are in love and she has accepted his crazy life, so MJ and Peter are definitely on the road to wedded bliss. We’ll hear all about it as they talk to each other on the phone, both so busy (she with her singing and planning, he with work and webbing) that they haven’t had any quality time with each other in weeks. There’s clearly tension over this separation, but they promise each other that things will calm down after the wedding and they’ll have the rest of their lives to be together all the time.
• But that is before a routine attempt at saving the day has Spidey running into the sexiest criminal he’s ever tried to collar. The introduction of the Black Cat into Peter’s masked moonlighting will set off all the natural urges and anxieties of any man about to tie the not, no matter how happy he is. Black Cat will represent the temptation toward one last fling, one final flirtation with that irresponsibility that forever haunts and drives Spider-Man to respect the power of great responsibility and the great responsibility of power. And in this first encounter, she will leave Spidey with his head spinning, as she totally gets away with her crime.
• The next day, Peter will be kicking himself for being played for a lustful fool. Not only is he supposed to be a morally upright superhero, but he’s also engaged to be married! He’ll angst over his superheroic failing and his possible mental infidelity all the way to Empire State University, where he is now working in the science lab with his old professor Dr. Connors. Their latest research project together is on animal genetics and pheromones, which has led to the creation of various serums that harness different animal attributes and characteristics. We’ll learn that this has been going on for several months, and Felicia Hardy will be introduce as another one of Connors’ student and junior lab assistant. Hardy has been engaging in her criminal ways in order to pay her way through school (it beats stripping, she thinks), and she has been dipping into Connors’ animal serums to help enhance her skills. Unfortunately, she got a mixed bag of tricks with her irresponsible off-label experimentation, giving herself heightened physical abilities at the cost of a “bad luck” aura that has just recently begun to manifest. We’ll learn very quickly that Hardy has ZERO interest in Peter Parker.
• Still in the lab and following up on a plot detail from Spidey 3, we’ll learn that Connors has managed to manipulate the tiny sample of symbiote that Peter brought to him into his synthetic regeneration formula. Ashamed of himself for lying to Peter about having destroyed the sample, and also selfishly concerned over proprietary rights should the formula prove effective, Connors has gone to extra lengths to keep his work on the formula secret. The bad luck aura permiating from Felicia causes Peter to break some vials or have some other sort of inconsequential lab accident, but this is enough to give Connors his window to protect his secret. Clearly overreacting to the accident, Connors fires Peter as his lab assistant.
• After Peter is gone, Felicia’s bad luck mojo will also cause Connors to make a crucial miscalculation in his regeneration formula that will ultimately lead to him becoming the savage humanoid reptile, The Lizard.
• Bummed out about losing his job, Peter decides to go out Spidering, hopefully to get some sellable photos for the Bugle (his Plan B income) and maybe to redeam himself with that sassy cat burglar. He does encounter Black Cat again, but her jinx powers and sexy wiles cause Spidey to fumble and flub his way to another defeat. But he’s so off his game this time that Black Cat thinks he’s playing with her, and this piques her interest a bit. Curiosity leads to cuddling, as the Black Cat gives Spider-Man a “friendly” kiss to make him feel better…right as she escapes into the night with her score.
• Peter is wracked with guilt when he sees MJ later that night, so much so that he can’t hide it from her. Revelations about how he let her go twice and the second time involved her kissing him leads to MJ threatening to cancel the wedding, acusing Peter of having second thoughts. She even brings up her own bad karma over her leaving John Jameson at the altar in Spidey 2.
• Peter puts on his costume and goes out to clear his head and to temp fate again, hoping another encounter with the Black Cat will allow him to redeem himself or, knowing his lousy luck, it will prove that he really is having second thoughts about marriage. But he’s a glutton for punishment, so he goes out to find her anyway–and find her. They do the usual dance–flirtatious banter, suggestive double entendres about Spidey’s web shooters, etc–until they are interrupted by screams from the city streets below. The Lizard has finally surfaced, and he is on a mindless rampage!
• Spidey and the Black Cat team up to battle the Lizard, but the Cat’s bad mojo leaves Spidey vulnerable, and causes him to get his butt whooped. Black Cat manages to do just enough damage to the Lizard on her own, however, to scare the beast off, and Spidey manages to tag him with a web tracer.
• The tracer will lead Spidey back to ESU and to the conclusion that Doc Connors is the man behind the monster. It will also put Parker in position to figure out the secret identity of his masked mistress in the making.
• In the end, Peter will figure out a way to convince MJ that she is still the only girl for him, and Spider-Man will convince Black Cat to “help him” break into ESU in order to administer an antidote to the Lizard and to negate her chemically induced jinx powers so he can lock her up for good. But being the good natured fellow that he is, Spidey gives Black Cat a free pass–this one last time–because he’s given her a taste of playing on the side of the angels, and he thinks she likes it. He also decides he owes her one for helping his relationship with MJ by putting his loyalty through the ringer.
• The movie can end with the small City Hall ceremony between Peter and MJ, with a post-credits tease of that tainted, manipulated mutation of the symbiote oozing its way out of the ESU lab, which was trashed in the final battle.

What do you think, True Believers?